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Gender discontentment caused by depression


Cent

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     My therapist and I have deduced that my gender issues are caused by my depression. This is because that my gender issues always only come after I’ve become depressed. In recent times my depression has been unpredictable as it comes one day and leaves the next, or even only stays for a few hours.

     Right now I’m outside a movie my family dragged me to because my depression was being taunted by one of the protagonists attractive self. I had to leave the theater. Honestly I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I wish I was born a girl for some reason. I know that if I were to transition it could never be the same as if I was born a girl. What really scares me is that this isn’t a constant thing. When I’m not depressed and my moods are fine I have no gripes whatsoever with my gender.

     I have a theory that my gender discontentment comes from a place of feeling unwanted, and I want to get the attention attractive women get. I don’t know. It makes me want to cease living sometimes. I just want whatever encouraging words or advice you can offer me. I need help.

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On ‎8‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 6:04 PM, Cent said:

 I have a theory that my gender discontentment comes from a place of feeling unwanted, and I want to get the attention attractive women get. I don’t know. It makes me want to cease living sometimes. I just want whatever encouraging words or advice you can offer me. I need help.

I think you are right. When I'm really depressed, I don't like myself or my life much at all. So I think it is natural to want to be someone else, thinking that it would be so much better. Yet I think that is an illusion but hard to see. Like it is greener on the other side, but it is really not. We take ourselves with us wherever we go or whoever we are.

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Sounds like an escape fantasy indeed. At first sight being an attractive woman seems quite appealing, they can get away with M***** and it seems like everybody caters to them, guys will bend over to please them and women want to be their friends to be part of the cool crowd. Then again they have their own struggles, a lot of backstabbing by other women, being objectified by men, having people think that looks is all they have to offer,  pressure to stay attractive, and often they have their own share of insecurities... Like @BeyondWeary pointed out, life always seems greener on the other side. 

I wish I was born in a taller body with more hair on my head 😎 I wouldn't worry about those feelings as long as they're not persistent. Occasionally wishing to be born a girl is quite a ways away from feeling like you're in the wrong body. 

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4 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Sounds like an escape fantasy indeed. At first sight being an attractive woman seems quite appealing, they can get away with M***** and it seems like everybody caters to them, guys will bend over to please them and women want to be their friends to be part of the cool crowd. Then again they have their own struggles, a lot of backstabbing by other women, being objectified by men, having people think that looks is all they have to offer,  pressure to stay attractive, and often they have their own share of insecurities... Like @BeyondWeary pointed out, life always seems greener on the other side. 

I wish I was born in a taller body with more hair on my head 😎 I wouldn't worry about those feelings as long as they're not persistent. Occasionally wishing to be born a girl is quite a ways away from feeling like you're in the wrong body. 

Thanks for your reply. I definitely don’t think I’m actually transgender, I think I just have an idealized vision of what being a woman is. I actually had another appointment today and I talked about this again with my therapist and she told me to look for the cons of being a woman. That might help me get past my tunnel-visioned view of womanhood.

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I think every human being at one point or another would have loved

swapping places or being someone else who is famous and well liked.

It want change a thing if you changed your identity because it is inside

of you and that part want change unless you change your thinking.  I

know because I have done many things in my life thinking it would make

me feel better.  All it did was give me temporary joy or happiness and then

I would return to my old self.  Hang in there my friend and I pray that you

are given the wisdom, knowledge and understanding on how to handle your

situation. 

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When I was in my 20's, afraid to talk to women, and desperate for affection, I sometimes wished I was a woman. Not for any gender issues, I just had the idea that all a girl had to do was flash some skin, and they had their choice of a dozen interested suitors. It wasn't a very serious fantasy on my part, but it was interesting to find out, over time, that women had the same feelings I did at the time, and also had trouble meeting guys, talking to them, or being thought of as something other than a one night stand. So I guess either way, finding a friend/mate sucks. We all need to stop believing the love stories on tv.....

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