SunshineorSadness Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 On 8/2/2018 at 9:25 AM, JustAnotherSufferer said: @ladysmurf I can’t get up of bed. I feel paralyzed. It takes so much willpower to do simple things. I have been able to sleep, but I’m always tired. It feels like I haven’t slept yet I have. I know that feeling. It's so hard to do the simplest task 95% of the time they go undone. But I'm proud of that 5% I'm able to do. For a while I was at not being able to do anything. Hopefully I won't have to go back there.... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 It seems like the older I get, the more self-conscious I feel. I miss being outgoing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyss Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Just now, TopekaK said: It seems like the older I get, the more self-conscious I feel. I miss being outgoing. You literally just described me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 12 hours ago, JD4010 said: Ditto! I have to attend a lot of work meetings where I'm expected to look and act normal. Well, I'm letting my inner freak come through more and more as time goes on. My moustache is now really long so I look like some kind of wild west yahoo from the 19th century. I wear cowboy boots too, which for some reason shocks people in the "business dress" world. Good! I also frequently let loose with sarcasm. Again, that seems to shock the clones sitting around the table but it makes me feel good. Hahaha. You crack me up! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Just now, sairyss said: You literally just described me Like a stranger in my own life 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyss Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I dont know who im trying to impress maybe deep down im trying to impress myself how i look.. But IF i go out say to run errands or even to play pathfinder i end up spending an hour getting ready and even them i feel like i beached whale.. Its 1030 on a friday night.. And im stuck at home.. No friends to hang out with and no entertainment 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I feel like trash once again. Just woke up, most of you are probably sleeping right now. I feel like I’m daydreaming, like I’m still sleeping. My senses aren’t really all there yet. I feel numb and it hurts so much, I wish I could just scream, no one will understand though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worly Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I feel like what's the point. I start a new job on Wednesday where I'm going to have to pretend I'm ok. What's it for? I have no goal except trying to survive and for what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 There's not much left of me at this point. It's obvious the people in my real life are just there to take what's left of me and throw me in the garbage. They have no regard for my well being or happiness at all. They don't care if they destroy me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 @sober4life I’m just sick of my life. I’m tired all the time even if I get 8 hours of sleep. I try to do my best to keep myself active and all that, but nothing helps. I’m always in some kind of pain. I have this heavy painful feeling in my chest right now and my mind is racing. It’s so painful! My birthday is tommorow and I couldn’t care less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSandman Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Not in a good way right now. I’m sitting here alone trying to figure out where I went wrong by replaying memories in my head. That’s all I have left with nothing on the horizon for me. Memories. The only hope I can hold on to is that this all is just a bad dream and eventually I will wake up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
APFSDS Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Sad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goincrazy Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I am feeling many emotions right now. I'm thinking about my dad. He passed away two weeks ago. Today we got his ashes . The song that @sairyss shared with me has helped alot. Thank you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Overwhelmed. I am studying for a massive exam and fear I will fail. I found a practice exam so I am studying the answers only. Work is going to be the death of me soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 My life is going to be the death of me. I'm trying to rearrange my life to the point where I can survive this mentally but I don't know I'm worried about myself right now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zenzang Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 (edited) i have the house to myself. many years ago i cherished solitude. these days i cannot stand it. i am lonely. i want to do things with someone i care about and who equally cares about me, no strings attached or expectations. im still in bed. it hurts to feel the way i do for so many years. i dont see any change anytime soon. i've lost that naive hope. Edited August 4, 2018 by zenzang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 20 hours ago, sober4life said: Just give me never ending bowls of cereal. Amazing! As I read this, I'm munching on some commercial-brand granola with blueberries mixed in! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Burnt out. No motivation. I did manage to clean the cat litter boxes, so there's that. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 (edited) Empty. Hopeless. The older I get the more I feel this way. Void. Whatever I do I stay stuck in the hell that is emptiness and pointlessness. I just don’t get this ”life” thing. I am a disappointment unto myself. Hell isn’t fire and brimstone. It’s this. ****ing life. Emptiness, futility and pointlessness. Not having the courage to pull the trigger. That is true hell. No fu kcing point in anything. We live,, eat, s hit, make babies (well some of us..I opted not to for obvious reasons) and die. For what? Why should life continue? I see no reason. I don’t understand people and don’t really like them anyhow. I don’t like myself. I don’t know what kind of person I ‘d have to be to like myself. ****ing bulls***. Empty pointless husk. I hate myself. There is no point to suffering, if this is in fact pain or suffering. Like life, pain blah blah, is just another exercise in futility. Good night. I hope I die in my sleep. Edited August 4, 2018 by samadhiSheol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I went to see mom today and had a complete meltdown at the nursing home. On the drive home another episode started to happen and I fell asleep when I was driving home. I barely made it back and I collapsed in bed for a couple of hours. I'm feeling some better now. I'm done pushing myself too far. I'm done trying to prove a point. Just like someone told me last week the cemetery is full of people like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 3 hours ago, JD4010 said: Amazing! As I read this, I'm munching on some commercial-brand granola with blueberries mixed in! Try the s'mores cereal or Rice Krispie treats cereal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zenzang Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 52 minutes ago, sober4life said: Try the s'mores cereal or Rice Krispie treats cereal. Reese's Puffs are the devil. lol I betcha cant eat just 3 bowls. I demolish a box in 2 days. It's banned from my pantry til I can control myself. lol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 57 minutes ago, zenzang said: Reese's Puffs are the devil. lol I betcha cant eat just 3 bowls. I demolish a box in 2 days. It's banned from my pantry til I can control myself. lol Yes I love Reese's Puffs. Peanut Butter and Cocoa Pebbles is great too! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 Did you ever wish you could crawl into a memory and stay in there, feeling warm and good? Like old memories, such as spending the day with your grandmother. I'm only 34 and I feel like I spend most of my timing feeling nostalgic for everything that's gone. I wish I could have just stayed a child forever, when things were simpler and easier. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 On 8/3/2018 at 10:01 AM, JD4010 said: I hope that changes quickly for you, my friend. Thanks JD...I am hanging on by a thread lately ..not in a suicidal sense, that isn't an option (not doing that to my child)...just an overwhelming feeling of doom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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