MarkintheDark Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, JustAnotherSufferer said: If that’s the case then they’re a bunch of *****. We all do mistakes sometimes. They should help you in whatever way they can, that’s why they’re there in the first place. The worst is when people stop responding. The most important thing is to be honest. It makes it hurt less I was so dam mad, I couldn't even shut down. I finally sent a text to the guy (among those on my sh#tlist) who manages our two counties. Amazingly, he called back. Poor guy. I kept my head, but I wasn't nice. I raised holy hell. (I did use the "are you trying to prove something by teaching me a lesson" line, as well) I also sent him a copy of my original email that goes on the agency's server so that all four people involved are absolutely clear, in writing, on what happened...actually, what DIDN'T happen. The original issue was minor. Unbelievably, what apparently escaped these people is that, in fact, stress can be a significant risk for those like me with compromised immune systems and I have two hospital stays to prove it. tbh, I'm still so cynical I wonder if anything will be done. Edited August 17, 2018 by MarkintheDark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 @MarkintheDark Stress has been making me worry if I have health problems or not. Sometimes I just keep on worrying if everything is okay with me. I was having a panic attack attack and it manifested itself in my chest for half an hour and then it disappeared. I’m so sick of this. I can’t stop overthinking and worry and I hate that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeyondWeary Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 I feel like I'm in a grieving process over what is a major loss (along with all the former losses) for me yet I can't get pass the depression stage. It doesn't help that I have depression and anxiety already. Denial - Bargaining - Anger - Depression - Acceptance I don't think I will ever get to the Acceptance stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Mom is in the hospital again. This nightmare never ends! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 2 hours ago, JD4010 said: @scienceguy Well, I'm happy to see you again...but I'm saddened by the fact that you felt the need to return. I have a tough time "relating" to most of the people I encounter. Around here, pro sports are front and center. People know all kinds of arcane details about every athlete, and every play or score of every game that has ever been played. They live their lives around sports. But they wouldn't be able to find the North Pole on a globe. That means: A. I have nothing in common to talk with them about ("Howz the weather?") and B. I come across as some kind of pointy-headed intellectual and am therefore immediately suspect. The result is, I avoid people as much as possible. I know I'm the oddball and just accept my fate. It was miserable all the years I had to pretend to enjoy sports or pretend to know things about cars. I know how to put in gas and drive a car. Watching sports is like a free sleeping pill for me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 I feel like trash! My whole life has been so painful. It never seems like I can catch a break, instead I fall into yet another depressive episode that makes me wish I was never born. When I think i just got a friend he/she leaves me, when I think life will get better it never does. It’s always painful. I’m used to the pain by now. I don’t know how it feels to live without it. It’s a part of my character by now. It’s making me feel like a 76 year old, not a 16 year old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyxgothxx Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 On 8/12/2018 at 3:39 PM, ladysmurf said: you are beautiful Aww thanks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steveab63 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 On 8/17/2018 at 12:03 PM, JD4010 said: @scienceguy Well, I'm happy to see you again...but I'm saddened by the fact that you felt the need to return. I have a tough time "relating" to most of the people I encounter. Around here, pro sports are front and center. People know all kinds of arcane details about every athlete, and every play or score of every game that has ever been played. They live their lives around sports. But they wouldn't be able to find the North Pole on a globe. That means: A. I have nothing in common to talk with them about ("Howz the weather?") and B. I come across as some kind of pointy-headed intellectual and am therefore immediately suspect. The result is, I avoid people as much as possible. I know I'm the oddball and just accept my fate. I can relate to both of you. I know nothing about sports and couldn't care less. It's awkward when other guys start asking you how you liked the game the other day. You tell them you're not into football, then they say :"oh, you're a basketball fan"? Uh..no..then you get the dumbfounded look. I'm into science and engineering etc, wannabe in all such things. Not sure what you do about that. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 2 hours ago, babyxgothxx said: Aww thanks Hi there, how are you doing? I’m feeling like trash. I probably just lost a friend. I had just gotten to know her. Right when things seem to be going good for me it goes downhill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamrparr Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 8 hours ago, JustAnotherSufferer said: Hi there, how are you doing? I’m feeling like trash. I probably just lost a friend. I had just gotten to know her. Right when things seem to be going good for me it goes downhill. What the hell happened? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 @adamrparr I don’t feel like talking about it to be honest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisteria Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 On 8/11/2018 at 6:23 PM, ladysmurf said: I'm sorry ...it truly is and I feel the same way. Here's a hug....... Thank you for the hug 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladysmurf Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 On 8/17/2018 at 11:01 AM, sober4life said: I feel like I'm forced to survive a life I don't want to survive anymore. I was created so screwed up there was never a chance for me. I was born to suffer the most excruciating misery possible and that's all it's been so far. I'm really sorry!!!! sadly i feel the same way. I'm dealing with this for decades since a child, and nothing ever changes or helps.....I accepted the fact that I'll never find any relief or happiness. And my life will continue to be a misery. I don't wish it on anyone. I'm really sorry for all those who suffer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSandman Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 Had a conversation with a friend last night that helped me come to some realizations. Now I'm sitting here thinking about it, and feeling like crap, again. At least I know, now, though. I guess that's better in the long run. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 I'm drunk on love. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 5 hours ago, ladysmurf said: I'm really sorry!!!! sadly i feel the same way. I'm dealing with this for decades since a child, and nothing ever changes or helps.....I accepted the fact that I'll never find any relief or happiness. And my life will continue to be a misery. I don't wish it on anyone. I'm really sorry for all those who suffer. I want the best for everyone here. I would do anything to make the people here happy again. It's over for me. It's been over for years now. The last few years have destroyed what little of me that was left. When my health started getting bad I got the stupid idea that maybe along my journey to get healthy and sober I would find someone and fall in love and have a family of my own. Yeah right the people in my real life have destroyed that dream to the point where I hope I don't see anyone in person ever again. When I'm done with my seasonal work obligations I will make that happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 Well, school starts tommorow. It’s goig to be a whole new school, but deep down I know it’s going to be the same as the last prison sentence. Same prison, different location. Wish me luck fellas! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockoBoy Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Fatigue (and depression) has been worse lately; seeing my life fly by with very little improvement. Hard to visualize progress when daily living activities consume a large part of the day...sometimes it takes 1.5 hours to 2 hours just to eat lunch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 (edited) I’m just exhausted. I barely got 6 hours of sleep and I have school today. I guess I’ll have to soldier through it like usual. Edited August 20, 2018 by JustAnotherSufferer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watalife Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 (edited) Absolutely horrible thanks to my living situation and pitiful pets. Can't wait till I'm just a memory in the wind. Or whatever they say. Everyday it's something new. As I type this there is some creature crawling back and forth above my ceiling. I'm guessing a rat or mouse. Why do we have to suffer all the time.. Edited August 20, 2018 by watalife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 I'm supposed to be working but I could care less. I'm just going to sit here and binge watch Netflix. Maybe I will do the work on Thursday or maybe they won't ever see me again. Who cares really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAnotherSufferer Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 @sober4life We barely did anything in school today yet I’m still dead tired. I actually fell asleep when I came home. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSandman Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Off to the GP today, so my anxiety running wild. I'm worried about my ability to work and stuff, but I'm also worried that an uninformed person is just going to tell me that I'm fine and I can truck through it. I obviously want to, but the feeling of being trapped there is just so much all the time, I don't know that I'm going to make it through each night. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 3 hours ago, sober4life said: I'm supposed to be working but I could care less. I'm just going to sit here and binge watch Netflix. Maybe I will do the work on Thursday or maybe they won't ever see me again. Who cares really. Well...yeah. I feel the same way. But I don't have Netflix. Actually, I "borrowed" my daughter's Netflix on Saturday night to watch an episode of a show that was recommended to me. It was great. I wish they would put it out on DVD so I didn't have to pay a monthly cable bill. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 I'm wondering how I'm supposed to give up the one thing in my day I look forward to... My little buzz. I know it's bad for me and I worry for my health but when it's the only thing that gets me through the day? Hmph 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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