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How to stop hating yourself


lackluster

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I hate myself. How can I build more positive thoughts inside me. I'm failing so much at once right now. I'm in lots of debt, tired of of living, failed my learners permit for the 3rd time in 5 years. I'm in the process of getting levied cause of tax problems, hurting my friends because of my drinking and bad decisions. I'm just a mess right now... so overwhelmed... And more bad is on its way. I just feel so alone in my depression. I opened up to my parents about my depression recently and they also don't seem to understand the way I feel. I feel like I don't belong any more ya know. Sorry for the rant. I'm also sorry that I haven't been more supportive to the other members on the forum. I've just been overwhelmed and not really talking with anyone. 

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No apologies necessary. There are many of us in similar situations to yours here.

I've hated myself for decades. I don't think I have any redeeming qualities and I've done some amazingly stupid things.

Thanks for posting on this subject...I hope some others chime in there too.

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Well Lackluster don't be so hard on yourself with time things will slowly begin

to turn around for you.  Focus on your strengths and try to do something in that

line to help you begin to build your motivation back and the more you accomplish

things the better you will begin to feel about life and yourself.

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I've fought depression for two decades now and it mostly centers on hatred of myself. It's a horrible feeling, stuck as someone you can't stand. People say "well just make yourself better" like it's that simple. How do you find the drive to improve yourself when every day you wish to die? When mustering the effort to get out of bed is as daunting as a marathon? 

Well I've yet to find a magic solution, but can share what helps a bit for me. Set very small constructive goals. Taking a shower, washing dishes, cleaning up, walking around the block, going to work. Anything that you can look back on at the end of the day to feel like you weren't utterly useless. You did something, however small.

Go outside. Even though that is the last thing you want to do when depressed, a few minutes in the sun really does help. Sit outside and read a few pages of a book or listen to some music.

Focus on something positive about yourself. They can be very hard to find when depressed and seem insignificant, but there are a few things about yourself that don't make you want to cringe. For me, there's the fact that I'm honest and always try to do what's right. I have a shred of talent when it comes to writing. It's not much, but it's a lifeline when I'm drowning in a black ocean of faults and failures.

Ease off on the alcohol. Drinking pain away is extremely tempting, but is more akin to trying to smother a fire with gasoline. It won't end well.

Keep fighting. Adun toridas.

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I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. I appreciate your willingness to share about your struggles. You’re not alone and please don’t be hard on yourself. It does give so much relief when we share with good listeners. I know how difficult and stressful it must be for you. Please get help without any delay. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His perfect love, comfort and peace. Take good care of yourself. Hugs!

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Hi there lackluster,
People sometimes hate themselves because they do not understand who they really are. We all make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. But when we start to see ourselves as useless, losers or good-for-nothing, that’s what we unwittingly become … unsure of ourselves, afraid to make decisions, commitments, and we pile up one mess after another.

The opposite of this of course, is to appreciate our true nature–a collection of intellect, skills, and potential. Consider going to a church and talking to a pastor who can explain further that you are a wonderful gift, and that you have value, and that seeing yourself properly can help with your depression and even start to have a better life. There are also a lot of selfless volunteers in many churches today who can help you with many necessities such as getting food or groceries, getting to doctors appointments. I know because I was the beneficiary of such kindness in my time of need. Why don’t you give it a try. I hope that you will get better soon.

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