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cosb4568

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I’m going to counseling in two weeks, but that still isn’t going to help me right now. I don’t want to feel empty or depressed at the moment it’s empty. I want to make friends in the area, but I can’t if I don’t have a job, or I can’t go to college. There are no nearby colleges I can go to at least not close enough for me to walk to and it doesn’t have the major I want to do in it.  I still feel like nothing in my mood is changing. I would go out to the community to make friends but everything is too far away to actually walk to unless I want to be walking for a hour to go to the library or anything community related. So I feel like nothing is going to work. Any other suggestions? Because at this point I’m about to give up on making friends in area at least until I can get a job. Which might not be for awhile. 

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Hmmm, what about an online message board of some sort in the area. My neighborhood has a Yahoo group (yes, I know - that is so last decade) where people can connect. Is there anything at all close by? Even some meaningless interaction, like with the clerk at the corner store - or the guy who works at subway has the potential to help. A friend of mine and I go to the same Subway every Thursday night - and then the same coffee shop. It is getting to where we know the cashiers and bariestas - and they know us. If you are not totally anti-church - you could check out a church near you. Even if you are not interested in the church part - they may have some small groups you could join. You never know where you will find that person you connect with.

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Hi cos. Not sure if you are in a city. For a few years i rode the bus. Was kinda crappy at first. But i viewed it as a poor mans limo hah. Friends huh? I used to have friends. Until they were all enemies.

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@glfinding i don’t live in a city i live in town so the buses are like too far away from where I live. I’m sorry that you feel that way about friends, I don’t know what happened but I hope for the best. I’ve had friends who became my enemies because I messed up and made a poor choice and I didn’t realize until too late and now I’m trying to make sure that dosent happen again. I want to continue to make friends. 

Ive been hurt and have not such good friends who were bad influences on me but the good friends made up for it. I even have two transgender friends who are really good to me as friends.

Edited by cosb4568
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My struggle stems from a life time of drug addiction. A way out of the depression, i thought. But for many years I partied, and idk if you know anything about the drug crowd, but not the nicest people. I guess at the end of it, i felt all those people crowded my life. I have a peacefulness to my suroundings now. I still have a couple friends. I am probably just being bitter. Loneliness is a real killer. I know it sounds stupid, but i feel a strong connection to those who really hurt in the world. That thought of connection, some nights leads me to feel not so alone. I used to live in small town before i moved here. Can appreciate both. I think making it in small town harder as an adult. Just not as many opportunities. I would say a life goal of mine is connect as much as possible. I find the way i connect with people through my poems, to be quite special.

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@glfinding I’m sorry that happened and I’m glad your out of that sitution with those friends. I don’t know anything about drug addiction because I’m mostly sheltered by my parents which is a good thing in most cases. I’m glad you still have friends to talk to. I understand the loneliness part, I’m trying to figure myself out In this world and I still don’t know who I am. I’m 18 years old and trying to figure out everything, just after I graduated high school so you can see why I’m overwhelmed and depressed. Plus I don’t have any friends around but through phone contact like calling or texting. My parents think I should be comfortable with myself before anything else and that’s the main reason why I’m depressed mostly likely is because I’m trying to fill a void with making friends it works but afterwards I go back to being depressed sometimes. 

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Cool. I just turned 32. My how the years really flew by. Sometimes it feels like i blinked and my 20s were over. Just remember your journey has really yet to begin. I have a dark sense of humor. Maybe i have grown grim. But i find it funny, each time i had thought i figured out something, everytime i thought i found i what i was looking for, life always had a way of showing me how wrong i was. Speaking about the depression atleast. I wasnt very patient when i was 18, was ready for what the world had in mind for me. Now i wish i would have took more time, to give some more meaning to the things i overlooked. I guess im just trying to say i understand what your feeling. Im sure your going to do much better than me.

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Being 33 myself, I can attest to the same feelings glfinding. I feel so wasteful when I look back at my late teens and twenties. 

Teenage years are hard, because you’re thrown into a world of possibilities with little direction, compassion, and understanding. 18 is exceptionally hard because you’re of legal standing now. You’re liable for yourself and your own actions.

All of these things can mount but there sounds to be possibilities and ways. You just have to decide what you are willing to do to obtain what you want. Then once you’ve decided you’re willing to do them, you have to assess if they’re truly possible. Is moving to a city a possibility for you? It may open you to all of your desires of a school in the degree you want to obtain and a job to secure your future.

 

It sounds like you have a very good head on your shoulders. It’s hard to sift through the muck of depression and overwhelming problems. But if you can find a glimmer of happiness in any of your ideas, try your hardest to pursue it. Best wishes. 

Edited by Tid322
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@Tid322 moving to a city isn’t an option at this point, I don’t have job  and I don’t have a drivers license. So I wouldn’t able to at this point and my dad probably dosent want to move again. When we just moved into our duplex.

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Cosb. When I was 20 I called an apartment complex in a big city and asked if I could work off my rent to live there because it was close to a school I wanted to attend. They didn’t offer me full rent, but a huge reduction: 1/4th the cost.

I literally packed my life into one suitcase, a backpack and a purse and moved out there by bus for $14. I secured a second job at a coffee shop three blocks away. It cost me nothing for my first months rent because I started working halfway into the month which covered the costs of that month. I didn’t end up attending school until a year later but I had a full plate. Point being, there might be options out there you hadn’t thought about. Maybe try looking for apartments offering jobs to secure a roof over your head and spread from there.

 

I’m not saying these are definites and you should or will be able to obtain these because I had. Everyone is fortuned a different opportunity but I am saying maybe look outside the box of where you’ve looked prior. If you haven’t already.

 

Also, just to let you know, it was the most of unglamorous and smelly jobs. I handled the garbage and cleaned the shoots of a 65 unit building. 

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@Tid322 it sounds like your talking about big cities like New York or Chicago. I live in Ohio and there’s no big cities like that nearby where I can actually do that with apartments. I will take in consideration about looking at other stuff but at this point I need to worry about getting a job before I move anywhere. I would move out if I could but that isn’t really an option.

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