When You Feel Like A Failure

[Kabuto]

I've been feeling that way, up to this point- pretty much on a daily basis.   Envying those around me who've succeeded in their lives while I haven't.    Yes, I know I still have time.   Yes, I know I'm still young. (27).    But when I see people as young as 18 who have succeeded financially, professionally- it's driven me mad.   Especially when I feel like I've had many opportunities that I've squandered due to foolishness or lack of insight....

How can I cope?   How can I succeed in the future?

 

[GAJ123]

I feel this exact same way at 32. It’s horrible to live like this & I don’t know what to do anymore. When I see others around me doing way better than me it leaves me feeling so terrible. I wish I knew the answer. I don’t know what to do about anything at this point. 

[StillStandinTall]

I think there will always be "someone doing better" than you (and me).  Unless you have "everything" then life would be pretty boring... right?!?

[ForegoneConclusion]

I struggle with this to from time to time but it's important to realize that there is  no official time line for success. Even if you succeed in something years after someone, it's still a succession. Look at JK Rowling for example, she was on welfare,  had a failed marriage and tragic miscarriage  before she went on to be the famous author she is today. I agree, you're young! But even if you were 72, there would still be time to succeed. Just because it takes someone longer doesn't make it any less of a win. I know it is a hard concept to accept, like I said earlier I struggle with this too! I honestly think everyone does. I read somewhere once these  three steps:

1. Have a vision 

2.Accept setbacks

3. Be persistent 

Those 3 steps have really helped me to try and stay focused. My advice would be to set little goals that you know are achievable then work your way up to big goals. For example, today clean your room/house. The more small tasks you complete the more confidence you will gain for your ultimate goal.

I know this is all easier said than done but I believe in you!

[iWantRope]

11 hours ago, Kabuto said:

But when I see people as young as 18 who have succeeded financially, professionally- it's driven me mad.   

 

Are there really? Most 18 year olds are still in their first year of university. The only way an 18 year old can 'succeed' financially, professionally is if dad/mom is a CEO & gives the 18 year old a high-paying job thru nepotism

[20YearsandCounting]

12 hours ago, Kabuto said:

I've been feeling that way, up to this point- pretty much on a daily basis.   Envying those around me who've succeeded in their lives while I haven't.    Yes, I know I still have time.   Yes, I know I'm still young. (27).    But when I see people as young as 18 who have succeeded financially, professionally- it's driven me mad.   Especially when I feel like I've had many opportunities that I've squandered due to foolishness or lack of insight....

How can I cope?   How can I succeed in the future?

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is not to keep falling in the trap of comparing your life to others.  You have no idea what life is like for them, not really.  All you see is what's on the surface, what they want you to see. Some people are really good at hiding their struggle and putting a good face on things, but may be hollow and empty and depressed inside and not showing it.

Don't let them decide what success is for you.  You get to decide that. 

[StoicLady]

I must be getting better at discerning stuff because tonight i came here to find just this topic. I have a very successful friend and everytime i talk to her i end up with panic and anxiety attacks. I dont think she intends harm but she causes damage to me nonetheless. I love her dearly and want to keep tge friendship. But her tone of voice, back handed comments, and other things leave me feeling horrible. I am in counseling and will talk to my counselor about it. Tonight it was a recap of how successful and happy she is. Which is truly wonderful. But she also knows I was laid off this week and in desperate need of a job. Nonetheless her summation was, " we rise to the level of our competence."  I am hurt by her dismissal of me as a human being and as a professional. In the past she has referred to me as "just a worker bee."  I have tried to talk to her about it in the past and have been told she didnt mean it, etc. Maybe she didnt. But ya know what??? Maybe she did and does. Looking back this has been happening for a long time. I am hurt. I am not a jealous or envious person. She is very different from me...she is a financial executive for the state. I am trying to finish a degree in education so I can teach. I write and do lots of creative things. I just self published a book of poetry. But when i talk to her i am usually hurt. I find this horrible and hurtful. So i came here to be with you and seek some comfort, maybe some validation, i dont know. But yes, it feels better knowing i am not alone. Thank you for being here. 

Ps. We are both in our 50s. You guys have plenty of time for your dreams believe me.  I know you are feeling bad but here i am much older than you and struggling also. Please be encouraged that you are young, not alone, and have many blessings to count even when it hurts. I am here for you too. ❤

Edited July 9, 2018 by StoicLady