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Thisisme373

Struggling with depression/anxiety/life

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Sorry but really feel I need to let off some steam as living here is driving me nuts I will give bit of a back story as to why it’s so uncomfortable living here at the moment.
When I first moved here a few years ago even though it wasn’t a particularly great area it was ok as I kept to myself and it seemed quieter.
Things changed about 1 year ago as this INCREDIBLY annoying intrusive neighbour starting knocking on our door moreregularly asking if we have any dvds she could borrow (at about 11pm) we borrowed her a few to just get her to go away as she is just annoying and loud.
It didn’t stop their though as she then knocked on late asking my roommate to open electric box for her, he did and stupidly passed his number to her incase she ever need help (she lives on her own with baby) she’s also a big druggie, always smoking illegal drug but also told us before she does illegal drug, pills etc.
She then keeps texting always wanting to chat, always asking if can run the shops for her, borrow her some tea bags etc we just want to be left alone to relax.
She then knocked on and asked us all to sign upto this competition thing so she could get recommendation money, I said I’m not really into it but she kept pushing it I said I’d do it another time but she kept asking for my number to sign me up so I said nah I’m ok, she seemed annoyed about it. Then kept phoning even though my roommate said he was going bed (about 2am!!!) so in the end we politely said we are quite private people and could please leave us alone, she didn’t argue but definitely seemed sensitive about it.
New neighbours moved in next to her now she’s all over them but they seem to get on with her which surprises me as she’s soooo needy. Anyway she’s turned them against us as she’s obviously gossiped about us, she’s allllllwwwaaayyyyss on her doorstep waiting for people to chat to like 24/7, she’s also bad mouthed us to other neighbours I know as she will say hello when on her own but when neighbours there she will blank me or roommates. 
She literally has no life and just likes to gossip with neighbours all day. This has made it horrible living here as there’s always a tension when going out orcoming home, sometimes I’ve said hi to neighbours and they just pretend they don’t see or hear me, it’s really getting me down, what advice would you guys give some replies would be much appreciated 

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Sorry you are going through so much.  Sounds like you are self medicating with the illegal drugs you are taking.  I am not judging .  I drank alcohol to escape my depression but as you probably know it just leaves you feeling more depressed and empty when you sober up.  Can you talk to a therapist?  My advice would be just start off with setting small goals for yourself and then building up to the larger ones.  You don't have to 100% turn your life all around at once.  Small steps in the right direction eventually get you where you want to go.  Can you join a gym like a YMCA and just start walking?  Think of the things that used to or still give you passion and dip your toes back into them a bit. I hope things turn around for you and don't worry about your scar, sadly you can't get people to be polite and not rude.  I would come up with a funny story about it.  Make it different every time to amuse yourself and mess with people.

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15 minutes ago, jsop4 said:

Sorry you are going through so much.  Sounds like you are self medicating with the illegal drugs you are taking.  I am not judging .  I drank alcohol to escape my depression but as you probably know it just leaves you feeling more depressed and empty when you sober up.  Can you talk to a therapist?  My advice would be just start off with setting small goals for yourself and then building up to the larger ones.  You don't have to 100% turn your life all around at once.  Small steps in the right direction eventually get you where you want to go.  Can you join a gym like a YMCA and just start walking?  Think of the things that used to or still give you passion and dip your toes back into them a bit. I hope things turn around for you and don't worry about your scar, sadly you can't get people to be polite and not rude.  I would come up with a funny story about it.  Make it different every time to amuse yourself and mess with people.

Thank you for the reply. Yes you are right that the illegal drug makes me feel worse/more negative/anxious the next day but I’m really struggling to give it up as it’s like a crutch to me but I will keep trying. I’m actually a member at the gym but I always feel to tired/anxious to go. Thank you for you’re encouragement I do appreaciate it. Just really need people to talk to feel so alone.

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Just now, Thisisme373 said:

Thank you for the reply. Yes you are right that the illegal drug makes me feel worse/more negative/anxious the next day but I’m really struggling to give it up as it’s like a crutch to me but I will keep trying. I’m actually a member at the gym but I always feel to tired/anxious to go. Thank you for you’re encouragement I do appreaciate it. Just really need people to talk to feel so alone.

Yeah the feeling too tired to exercise is a trap.  Hardly anyone feels energized to go to a gym and exercise you have to just do it and the energy comes after you do it.  If you wait for motivation to find you you will be waiting around forever.

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3 minutes ago, jsop4 said:

Yeah the feeling too tired to exercise is a trap.  Hardly anyone feels energized to go to a gym and exercise you have to just do it and the energy comes after you do it.  If you wait for motivation to find you you will be waiting around forever.

Guess I’m going to have to try force myself, excercise can help fight negative thoughts. I just feel so down/anxious that I stay in all the time. 

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It might help if you start going to some AA or NA meetings for drugs and alcohol

addictions.  This will give you a outlet to be around similar people who are struggling

with life problems.  Who knows you might even make a couple friends that can help

you to get back upon your feet. 

 

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Sorry you are going through such a hard time. Yes, I would highly recommend going to NA. The 12 step programs are great to help you get your life back. They accept you and understand what you are going through. Hang in there and get some help, please.  

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I had one counselling session in the past and it just made me feel worse tbh as some of my problems are not solvable.

i feel way to anxious to go to NA meetings and even if I did how would I find them? Are they free? 

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I have been reading your post, and do agree with other posters that drugs/alcohol may feel good in the short run, but are destructive to mood in the long run.  NA meetings are free in most areas (US, not sure about UK), they might pass the hat and ask for a donation, I think they are a 12-step program like AA.  The office through which you get benefits may have referral lists, or a meeting directory, or you could look in local classifieds, or Google it.  Often groups meet in churches, meeting halls, etc.  I hope you are able to at least get out of the house, if only for a short walk (somewhere safe, maybe a park?), or to the gym, even if you don't stay long.  I find that once I overcome my resistance to do (insert activity here), I feel better once I've done it.  

Let us know how you're doing.  

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Even now there’s loads of neighbours outside arguing with neighbours across the road very aggressively, it’s all crowded outside mine I don’t want to even leave to go outside. 

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I am going to attempt quitting illegal drug from tomorrow Without no help.

think I may also try get on housing register but the fear I have is I could just end up another flat I don’t like and I don’t really have money to move, we spent a lot on carpets/decorating etc, but I honestly hate living in this area.

What do you guys think? 

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Thisisme373,

I read through this thread and your situation definitely sounds complicated.  Other members have posted that NA/AA meetings are generally the same concept and should be free of charge - they work for some and, at minimum, you may meet some interesting and kind people who are living sober lives.  Either way, quitting is certainly a good idea if that is what you would like to do - you can always try without help and see what happens.  Regarding the housing register, is there really a negative outcome that could come from this?  I won't pretend that I know exactly how this works, but my assumption is that you ultimately get the final say regarding whether or not you make the change.  With that being said, registering may just provide another opportunity without mandating you to move if you dislike the flat or do not have the money to do so.  If it is anything like similar registries in the US, long waiting lists make it worthwhile to get on the list even if you are uncertain at the time.  Again, this may differ in your area but those are my initial thoughts.

I wish you the best of luck should you choose to discontinue the drug use - choosing to do so is definitely a huge step of which you should be proud.  Be sure to keep us posted!

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Bit of a update here. Things are not going good really, 2 days ago when coming out to my car one of my neighbours who is actually ok was in his car and warned me that 3 people in balaclavas were snooping around the car park looking inside my car and his about 1am in the morning, they didn’t do anything but that’s made me even more anxious about my area. I’m also still being blanked by many neighbours.

I parked on a side road near mine that night as I was worried and when I went to my car following day my car was ok but the one in front had its window smashed in, could tell it was fresh as glass was all over the floor, just seems the area is too rough.

I now parked my car about 10 min walk away on a nicer quiet looking road but it’s ridiculous I have to do this and I’m worried residents there might not like a random car on the road, does anyone else think I’m worrying too much or should my car be ok there?

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I would be concerned about it being towed away as abandoned. Can you speak to someone in the area and get their ok to leave it in front if their house or something?

Sorry youre in such a scary neighborhood. Can you try to make friends there so you don't feel like an outsider? Maybe explain that your neighbor has no concept of boundaries or when its too late to be knocking on doors. Shouldnt be too difficult to get someone to agree with you on that.

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Thanks for the reply Steve, you brought up a good point about it being towed, how long would it have to be left on a street to be towed? I only leave it a day or 2.

being honest I don’t really want to get friendly with neighbours as I have social anxiety and just no interest in getting to know them to be honest as they are all rough and scummy. Plus that neighbour who has no boundaries seems to talk to all the neighbours and if I said that to one neighbour they would just tell her which would cause more problems.

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