Jump to content

What do I do? Depressed ex -We are talking but...


Recommended Posts

I need some advice.

My xbf and I were dating for over 2 years. I lived with him for several months at the end. He broke up with me over 2 months ago because of a big issue we were trying to compromise on and that he was depressed. I had no idea he was depressed as he hid it from everyone. First time for him but he does have a family history of it. He also had some childhood issues that he never dealt with. He has had chronic pain for 1.5 due to a car accident and hid the amount of pain he was in from that as well. Overall, we were very happy together but towards the last few weeks we were fighting a lot. He was withdrawing and I felt neglected so naturally walls went up and fights began. He is still willing to speak to me. He will answer my calls if I call, answer texts, etc. He is still very kind to me. He says he can't get back together because he is not well but that he can't promise me anything in the future. He isn't sure if I am the one anymore. He says that after he broke down and went to this dark place that things have changed for him. He also doesn't find as much pleasure in other hobbies/things that he enjoyed immensely.  He is willing to see me once/week and speak a few times a week.  He has finally just started going to counselling.

He is the love of my life. We were very happy together. He still says he was happy with me and loves me.

Do I hang in there even though he is not sure If i am the one for him anymore and that he loves me but something is missing? I heard this is common with Depression but I am so scared. He is not the type at all to play games. I have continued to be pushy, pressuring him, emotional and he is still kind, answers my texts, sees me when I just show up.  So I know he is not saying this to play games but is very confused and clearly he still loves me. He also has started to bring other stuff up about our relationship in a negative way which isnt that case and its hard to convince him otherwise even with proof.

What do I do? This could take months, years? I am 35. I want a family and kids. But I want it with him.

Edited by Sarahh2018
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Support him.  Care for him.  Let him know you're there for him.

But here's the thing; you will not 'fix him'.  Not right away.  Not on your own. Loving someone can help them so much, but it will not fix their problems.  The best thing you can do is be there for him and love him, provide emotional support and be someone he can trust. Please make sure he gets the help he needs.

If you really love him, then I know you'll be able to handle it.  It's a difficult task, loving someone that isn't 100% mentally well, but he seems to still care about you, and you clearly care about him. 

Sending support and hugs your way!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...