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How much of your depression is due to "being different" - not fitting in, not being part of the herd, not being mainstream, being unusual etc


Sophy

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On 5/25/2018 at 9:46 AM, Sophy said:

Don't rush it if you are not ready yet, Camellia.

When you are ready, you will get the distance and space you need and then you will feel better.

Just another perspective I'd like to throw in here. My sister cut off all contact with our entire family (she's bpd) for about 2 years now including prohibing my parents from having any contact with her children. It's been the most horrendous experience I've ever seen my parents go through. Both of them were devastated beyond belief for months, and my mom almost died from grief. Only recently have they accepted the situation, though they are still completely broken. My mom can't even mention my sister without crying. When you disconnect from people you don't see the damage you cause. Out of sight out of mind right. Well it's there, and it's bad. Don't forget the effect this extreme action has on those who love you. 

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3 minutes ago, morecoffee said:

Just another perspective I'd like to throw in here. My sister cut off all contact with our entire family (she's bpd) for about 2 years now including prohibing my parents from having any contact with her children. It's been the most horrendous experience I've ever seen my parents go through. Both of them were devastated beyond belief for months, and my mom almost died from grief. Only recently have they accepted the situation, though they are still completely broken. My mom can't even mention my sister without crying. When you disconnect from people you don't see the damage you cause. Out of sight out of mind right. Well it's there, and it's bad. Don't forget the effect this extreme action has on those who love you. 

Yup. But if parents are abusive, as they often are, then the same amount of damage has been done to the child first.

Abusers are very good at being in denial about the abuse they've done.

Not saying this applies to your family, because I don't know your family.

But you don't know mine either.

Any damage I've done by breaking off contact is a drop in the ocean compared to the damage of child abuse and childhood trauma I was subjected to.

If you think that my deranged, abusive mother is suffering because she's convinced herself that her abuse was "love", then all I can say to that is GOOD. Serves her right. Truly. That's karma.

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10 minutes ago, Sophy said:

Yup. But if parents are abusive, as they often are, then the same amount of damage has been done to the child first.

Abusers are very good at being in denial about the abuse they've done.

Not saying this applies to your family, because I don't know your family.

But you don't know mine either.

Any damage I've done by breaking off contact is a drop in the ocean compared to the damage of child abuse and childhood trauma I was subjected to.

If you think that my deranged, abusive mother is suffering because she's convinced herself that her abuse was "love", then all I can say to that is GOOD. Serves her right. Truly. That's karma.

We all have to live with our choices. It does suck we all make so many bad choices. 

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41 minutes ago, morecoffee said:

We all have to live with our choices. It does suck we all make so many bad choices. 

Hope you're speaking for yourself there?

I'm happy with the choices I've made and have good reasons for them.

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