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How to have a healthy relationship?


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I've been single for a year now, and I've been struggling with the idea of getting into a new relationship a lot. I have been in multiple toxic relationships in the past, 2 long ones. My relationship with my last ex bothers me the most. I have been struggling with childhood trauma (psysical abuse) and depressions. I have been with him over 5 years, even though he triggered me. He would regulary do things to make me unhappy or hurt my feeling, because he felt like I had done something wrong. And when I felt unhappy, he didn't want to hear anything about it.

I think I'm emotionally ready to get into a new relationship, but I'm too scared to pursue anything romantically. I have never been in a healthy relationship, so I'm not sure how to have one. Even though I'm a happy person now, I still have some leftover symptoms and stuff that triggers my childhood trauma. I don't wanna have to hide that anymore, but I'm scared it wil ruin any future relationship.

Has anyone gone through this? What are the things that are most important to have a healthy relationship when you're struggling with depression/trauma?

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Okay as a person who has never had a relationship but has dealt with depression and suicidal idealation all my life I can empathize with you. You want to be sure of yourself first. You must have yourself as a priority. You must not put value on what others think of you. Know your likes and dislikes. Know yourself first. Then show yourself to others without getting into your personal business. (Trust me. You will open up about this later when you develop a connection and care for each other). For one, in the beginning I know you want to come off clean with what you been through, but dont. No matter what people always get too scared and see your truama instead of YOU. Then when you develop more when you are seeing each other more let them in a little more, but thats if your comfortable with it and if the person is also doing the same.

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Welcome to DF, kelsey23.  :console:  It's great that you are becoming healthier, and that you are aware that you may have issues come up when you get into a relationship.  Please don't feel like you have to be in a relationship - you can be healthy on your own.  Honesty is generally your best policy, but timing is something that only you can figure out, and may be inimical to each relationship.  How much you say and when is still a pretty big question.

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