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Steak47

Weird disorder?

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Aside from depression and anxiety, over the years I've had trouble with intrusive thoughts, usually violent or sexual which have obviously made depression worse. However I'm not sure whether these thoughts are intrusive, they've been going on a long time but I've only recently seen them for what they are. I am convinced that every man fancies me, even if man doesn't speak to me I have thoughts that it's just because they'e too shy to talk to me cos they find me attractive, I think I also want everyone to find me attractive. I am self conscious about the way i look most of the time and I constantly pick on my worst features and have days where i hate myself, so I don't know why I have these thoughts, I'm scared I'm quite delusional and this is really making me anxious and upset, any insight? It might be worth mentioning that I feel more attractive to strangers than to long term bf as as soon as someone knows me inside out I somehow begin to feel unattractive.. and am unable to have sex in long term relationships.. 

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Not sure about this.  I think if you haven't had a strong father figure then you will want men to find you attractive and give you attention.   Speaking from experience here.  It's not the best position to be in, for sure.

Did you have a strong male influence/connection as a child?  It might be helpful to know that and see how that fits into the equation.

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6 minutes ago, tracyistrying said:

Not sure about this.  I think if you haven't had a strong father figure then you will want men to find you attractive and give you attention.   Speaking from experience here.  It's not the best position to be in, for sure.

Did you have a strong male influence/connection as a child?  It might be helpful to know that and see how that fits into the equation.

Thanks for responding. Well my dad committed suicide when I was 2, the man that bought me up after that wasn't a very good role model, he drank a lot and beat my mom, he also had bipolar. However my current stepdad who has bought me up since 12 is amazing!! And we are extremely close, I do constantly aim to make him proud and always seek his approval.

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Hi Steak,

     I am sorry you are suffering from the intrusive thoughts you describe and from the fear that you may be delusional.  Your feelings make complete sense considering what you are going through.  Since I am not a physician or medical professional, my best advice to you would be to consult a physician.  Sometimes the things you describe can involve pathology in parts of the brain and only a licensed physician can diagnose those, treat them or rule them out as causes.  The brain can become ill just as any other organ of the body and your health is too important to be left to guesswork.

     I do want to welcome you here on the Forums.  I hope you will find them as helpful to you as they have been to me.  Please make yourself at home here..  I hope you will feel amongst friends as we are all fellow sufferers of depression and other maladies.  I wish you all good things, Steak!   - epictetus

Edited by Epictetus

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6 minutes ago, Epictetus said:

Hi Steak,

     I am sorry you are suffering from the intrusive thoughts you describe and from the fear that you may be delusional.  Your feelings make complete sense considering what you are going through.  Since I am not a physician or medical professional, my best advice to you would be to consult a physician.  Sometimes the things you describe can involve pathology in parts of the brain and only a licensed physician can diagnose those, treat them or rule them out as causes.  The brain can become ill just as any other organ of the body and your health is too important to be left to guesswork.

     I do want to welcome you here on the Forums.  I hope you will find them as helpful to you as they have been to me.  Please make yourself at home here..  I hope you will feel amongst friends as we are all fellow sufferers of depression and other maladies.  I wish you all good things, Steak!   - epictetus

Thanks epictetus. Your replies are always so helpful and well received. I think you're right and Maybe I need some counselling for this, it's just always nice to get people's perspectives and if anyone has gone through a similar thing it makes you feel less alone, thank You, I sure will! 

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Not a weird disorder at all!! I have very similar thiughts and experiences. It sounds like it might be OCD which is what I have as well. People usually think of ocd as one thing being someone that messes with physical things and whats things in certain order or has superstitions but ocd is also having uncontrollable constant intrusive thoughts. some of them have no basis what so over and we just pick up any bad thing and it sticks to our mind and gets repeated because we  know its bad we think about over and over and feel bad because we have no control over it. other times it is based on things from the subconscious. Idk about you but perhaps your thoughts and views about men and your personal insecurities could come from fail relationship with your dad or another father figure or maybe you had a really bad experience with a guy ? that could be something that trigger this. I was molested by my dad when I was little and I was also followed around a lot by my dad and I had a few really bad experiences of harassment as a child/teen from other guys and I feel the same way you do sometimes. so for me that stems from all the mistrust and discomfort I feel for guys because most of the time Ive always ever been approached by men with impure and repulsive intentions and the man I trusted the most aka my father was the one who did me the worst. 

I think talking to a therapist about all this will help you! Everything you said is well described and maybe talking to a professional and having them break down where it all stems from will help you be more at ease and you can find better ways of coping with this and eventually these thoughts and feelings will subside :)

Edited by June322

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