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Where do i start? 

do you know that feeling when all your dreams just dissapear, you wake up every morning telling yourself you a dissapointment,

check your Phone but noone cares to message you, dont feel at home anywhere, contact your family for help but all they say is its just a stage your going through.

the other day i was out to a party, and someone offered me a drink, idk what was in there but that ****ed me up, really badly, all i remember was laying on the floor outside in the rain, everything got quiet,

my whole body went numb and the only thing going through my head was dude your dying, and i never coinsidered myself suicidal but the thought that i was dying, was the most comforting i have felt in a while,

i have tried looking for professional help, hotlines, everything, but they all tell me find a new hobby, go excersise, go out and meet people, but iv tried it all, and nothing seems to help.

i am 20 years old and my life is going nowhere, to the point that im scared of the future, i have a dead end job that dont pay the bills, noone around me that seems to care, and my will to get out of bed is gone.

i signed up to this forum hoping there is someone out there that can relate and maybe even chat to.

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Hey man you're not alone, i can honestly say im in the same exact boat as you my friend. For a long time i thought i was alone. I felt weak, and yeah i can agree with you. The idea of dying is depressingly comfortable. There's no sugar coating it, we live in an extremely s***ty world with extremely s***ty people. Ima be real, i dont know if there's any real help for people like us. All i can say is, its honestly comforting knowing im not the only one feeling like this. Maybe all we can do, is be here for each other. I'm not gonna lie, i legitimately made an account for this to message you once i saw how much i related to your post. Just remember, you're not alone, you're worth it.

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I totally relate to you. Some days when I wake up I have no interest in doing anything because I feel so low. I also don't make very much money so bills/rent is always a stressful thing. 

Have you ever felt like your living for the sake of your family and friends rather than having interest in life personally? I tend to feel like that a lot. But I just try to focus on my work/hobbies to keep me going. 

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I think most, if not, all on this website can relate. Depression makes doing the every day mundane tasks the hardest chores ever. And to be honest, death sometimes feels like the easiest way out, but we have to convince ourselves there is a purpose. What you have to say just might touch someone else and save them. Know that you do have purpose even if it’s hard to see sometimes. Also know you are nowhere near alone in this battle. I don’t know how many people are on just this forum but I imagine a lot. I’m also going to assume it doesn’t even touch a percentage of the people suffering in the world.

 

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but we’re all hear to listen or to talk! Share whatever you feel comfortable with. I can attest to what an amazing tool this forum can be when suffering. Many hugs! Wishing you the best.

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12 hours ago, lackluster said:

I totally relate to you. Some days when I wake up I have no interest in doing anything because I feel so low. I also don't make very much money so bills/rent is always a stressful thing. 

Have you ever felt like your living for the sake of your family and friends rather than having interest in life personally? I tend to feel like that a lot. But I just try to focus on my work/hobbies to keep me going. 

I dont have many people around me, my gf descided to cheat on me, me and my family never really got along together, kind of like if i was the black sheep so i moved out at age of 15, and my only real friend is across the globe to study, the rest of my 'friends'  take advantage of me because i can get them in for free at the club i work in, but they will never bother to check in on me or meet up in my free time, the only thing motivating me to keep going right now is that i still have faith and hope that one day ill wake up and feel happy again. I hope you can stay motivated like i do, because even though i feel like im living a nightmare right now, we all wake up from one right? knowing im not alone in these feeling really makes me feel alot better and gave me more will to fight this s***ty time, i hope we can all go through this together, thanks for the comment and stay safe.

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12 hours ago, Tid322 said:

I think most, if not, all on this website can relate. Depression makes doing the every day mundane tasks the hardest chores ever. And to be honest, death sometimes feels like the easiest way out, but we have to convince ourselves there is a purpose. What you have to say just might touch someone else and save them. Know that you do have purpose even if it’s hard to see sometimes. Also know you are nowhere near alone in this battle. I don’t know how many people are on just this forum but I imagine a lot. I’m also going to assume it doesn’t even touch a percentage of the people suffering in the world.

 

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but we’re all hear to listen or to talk! Share whatever you feel comfortable with. I can attest to what an amazing tool this forum can be when suffering. Many hugs! Wishing you the best.

Thanks for your words, it really helps seeing there are people that do care, brings a little of brightness in the worst of the days :)

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21 hours ago, 3amNihilist said:

Hey man you're not alone, i can honestly say im in the same exact boat as you my friend. For a long time i thought i was alone. I felt weak, and yeah i can agree with you. The idea of dying is depressingly comfortable. There's no sugar coating it, we live in an extremely s***ty world with extremely s***ty people. Ima be real, i dont know if there's any real help for people like us. All i can say is, its honestly comforting knowing im not the only one feeling like this. Maybe all we can do, is be here for each other. I'm not gonna lie, i legitimately made an account for this to message you once i saw how much i related to your post. Just remember, you're not alone, you're worth it.

Hey Dude, i really apriciate that you took the time to do that, and i can totally relate that knowing im not alone in this is extremly comforting, i hope you are safe out there and if you ever want to chat feel free to, im no expert in all of this, in fact im suffering like hell right now myself, but as you said maybe the only help for us is to be there for eachother, stay safe and thanks for the kind words :)

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Hi BeamerBoy, welcome to DF. Sorry to hear you are going through so much. At 20, that’s a lot of burden for anybody to bear. But I thank you for coming forward to share your story. Depression has a way of making you think you are going through this alone and nobody will ever ever understand what you are going though. I wanna assure you, we do... Maybe we cannot have a full grasp of how you actually feel but most members in forum knows how dark depression can be. So, you are not alone. You wouldn’t be going through this yourself. We are here for you and ready to listen whenever you want to download. Most depressives will feel they are the “black sheep” in the family or “failure”. I wanna let you know, you are not. You are trying your best to live and that alone is a lot of strength. Keep well and take care. I’m praying for you. God bless! 

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