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Disabling social anxiety


GoldenOne

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Today I went to a local football club to volunteer (I go there most Thursdays to help cook dinner for the players in the club).

When I first arrived, I felt okay. I felt a bit tense, but usually I feel more tense in social situations. However, the more I stayed there, conversing with the others, the more tense I began to feel. Thoughts about me being fat and disgusting started invading my mind, which made it impossible for me to relax. Then my mind started going crazy, and I began thinking 1000 thoughts a minute, mostly about how fat and disgusting I am, but I also start analyzing what the others are thinking about me a lot. I feel 100% unable of calming myself down, and the more I stay there, the worse I get. Eventually, after we were done cooking and I was headed home, I just felt AWFUL. I felt so bad for feeling fat and disgusting; I felt bad, because thoughts of them not liking me had also crossed my mind; I felt bad because even though I LIKE the people down there, I just cant seem to get myself calm and relaxed to actually ENJOY being social with them; I felt bad for feeling like such a failure for not being able to relax these thoughts and calm myself down.

Due to how chaotic it feels, it is very hard for me to narrow down what it is that goes on inside my head in situations like that. But this is some of it at least.

My social anxiety or whatever you want to call it is so disabling that I want to **** myself. It is such a loss to not be able to feel comfortable around other people. I cant get a girlfriend because of it. I feel too tense, too awkward, too insecure to even want to get a girlfriend. If I felt relaxed and comfortable, I would get a girlfriend. But I just cant as it is. I dont know what to do. I have done everything in my power to overcome these problems, but I just cant. I dont believe life is worth living when you have an illness that disables you and takes away all joy in life. It is such a loss.

Can anyone relate?

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Hi GoldenOne, 

I can definitely relate to what you wrote!!!  These illnesses are absolutely brutal.  Nothing in human language can convey even 1/1,100,000th of how awful these things are.  

You are a wonderful person whose writings here on the Forum save lives.  I have the highest respect for those human beings who save lives.  So I consider you a great person, a person of incalculable value and worth.  I wish I knew how to help relieve the suffering and agony you are experiencing.  You are so important and it is so great that you exist in this world!!!       :icon12::icon12::icon12::icon12::icon12:

- epictetus

Edited by Epictetus
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It's the worse thing for me. It is very disabling. It has destroyed my life, and almost 80 to 90% of people that have it have depression as well (according to studies) It was destroyed my life. I hope you can get some relief. I've met people who have spend years like (decades) inside their houses. I think that's where I'm headed because I don't like leaving the house.

I wish I could be more helpful to you, but I really don't know. None of the therapies, or medications I have tried so far have helped me. I feel like I am too tense around people, I come off as being rude, because I try to go out even if its a supermarket, the cashier, or worker, might say, "Hey, good morning, or how are you?" and I quickly answer and run away. I hate it. I really hope you find some relief. It takes a lot of work. For a while I wouldn't leave the house for months, eventually I quit my job, and have no friends. Now I'm at a point where I only leave for doctors appointments, and I only push myself to go out for things that I need to purchase. Otherwise my life is a misery stuck inside my house.

I am also thinking of volunteering to get myself out of the house because I am going crazy , but I am terrified, and I don't know if I will do it. If you don't experience this its not easy to understand. I really hope you find some relief and are able to live a functional life. I gave up a long time ago.

I think the best advice I could give you is NOT to let yourself become so isolated like myself, and many others who can't function because of it. Keep fighting it, and trying to overcome it..step by step, slowly... (with therapy or medications or whatever you can) ...Beta blockers help with physical symptoms ask your doctor if you can try those..

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Yea I struggle with social anxiety too. What's hard for me is I also struggle with stuttering/stammering too so it's kind of awkward sometimes when you first meet someone and you can barely say your own name. 

I think low self esteem is a big contributor to social anxiety. At least it has been for me 

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I just wanted to say that I had this in my teens and twenties but have been able to overcome it. I had it as bad as you guys have described above. Absolutely debilitating. Scared to leave the house at all. Even going to the letter box to get the mail seemed like climbing Mount Everest most days.

I just wanted to say that it is definitely possible to overcome this. It does not have to last a lifetime.

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Thanks for the replies.

I don't really isolate myself. I go to university, I have a small circle of friends I see a few times a week usually, I take public transport to university and from university, and I do shopping etc. by myself. So I don't really isolate myself as much as someone else with social anxiety might do. However, I still cant feel comfortable around others, which means it is hard for me to WANT to socialize. Also it prevents me from getting a girlfriend.

@Sophy How did you overcome it? 

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1 hour ago, GoldenOne said:

@Sophy How did you overcome it? 

There is no "easy" answer to this.

I did a LOT of therapy.

I fought like a lion to beat this condition. I was DETERMINED that *I* would win, and that depression/ anxiety/ agoraphobia/ PTSD would not win.

I REFUSED to allow my life to be ruined by it. No matter how hard it was, I was determined that  I  W O U L D  W I N.

Did I cry and feel miserable and want to give up on most days? Yup. Of course.

But I was determined to beat it.

I figured if the first 5 therapists can't help me, I'll try a sixth one. And a seventh and eighth one, if needed.

If I can't find a therapist, I'll try reading up on the conditions until I understand them better than the average therapist.

If therapy alone doesn't help, I'll try meds. I'll be careful about it, but I'll try as many as I need to until I find one that helps.

I'll look for self-help groups, online forums, whatever, until I find people going through the same thing that I can compare notes with.

I'll go to advisory centres, social workers, community centers, charities, whatever - to get the support I need to fight this condition, because I refuse to let it win.

Sure, I came across a lot of ppl who were unhelpful, ill-informed, rude, etc too. Not very nice experiences.

But I also came across a lot of people who genuinely cared and tried their best to help me.

I dunno.

I am a VERY VERY VERY stubborn person.

Yes, depression/ anxiety/ agoraphobia/ PTSD and all the other related illnesses out there are debilitating. And yeah, they ate up more years of my life than I would've wished. But never for a split second did I think I would let those conditions win and determine the whole course of my life.

And I knew that in fighting these illnesses, I wasn't just fighting them for myself.

I knew that I was finding a way to deal with these conditions and that me finding a way would be helpful to others too.

BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE A WAY.

It's not acceptable that these illnesses are ruining so many lives for decades on end.

If our society has enough money for frivolous junk like smartphones and SUVs and shopping centres and dozens of TV channels and junk food and whatever else... Then there should %&$§*# well be enough money and resources and effort to stop soooooooo many people suffering from these illnesses more or less "in silence".

I just refuse to accept that that is "how it is". For me and for others.

I don't know what other advice I can give anyone, because the things that stopped my social anxiety/ agoraphobia are such personal issues - I had to dig really deep in therapy (and it was slow, painful work) to find out what *my* issues were and what would help with those issues.

I had to find ways to confront my fears.

Tho I have to say that some of the therapists I had early on didn't understand the notion of "confronting your fears" very well.

I did a few of those "exposure therapies" and they were just awful.

I was just being "exposed" to the situations that made me feel awful (kind of like the situation at the football club you describe @GoldenOne ) and it would just be "exposure" - there would be no "benefit", no "aha moment", no "learning" and no "desensitising"... All of those "exposure" theories/ models/ therapies did not work for me at all.

I had to find ways to confront my fears that were *productive*. Ways to prove to myself, that I was stronger than my fears.

And to prove to myself that my fears were limiting me and preventing me from living a full life.

And I had to find out what support I needed in confronting my fears. I couldn't do it without support.

But the support is a temporary crutch - like having crutches when you've broken your leg - you use them to help you, but the work is getting to use your leg again slowly, so that you don't need the crutches anymore.

I had to find ways of pushing my limits.

But for me it was important that I was the one driving the process. I was making the choices, not the therapist.

I embarrassed myself a LOT along the way. Doing things you are scared of and having them stuff up is very embarrasing. Eventually you stop caring much. Eventually you realise that everything's kind of embarrassing and who really cares. Living your life and doing everything you want is far more important than caring about what anyone thinks of you.

I guess one thing that really helped is AGE.

When you're young, you care soooooooooooo much about what other people's opinion is of you.

As you become more mature and have more experience, you start realising that other people's opinions are pretty much a joke and pretty irrelevant.

Also finding out that most people struggle with social anxiety, made a difference. You would not believe how many people are anxious socially but would never admit it in a million years and are absolute experts at covering it up.

In my current job I work with young people and I would say 9 out of 10 of them admit to having social anxiety, once we get to know each other well enough for them to talk about those kind of issues.

So if there's 20 people in a room and 18 of them have social anxiety and everyone's using really different methods to hide it... That's actually kinda funny.

I dunno what advice to give other than try and find good support (eg a therapist) and keep looking until you find one and then do the hard, slow, painful work of pushing through your own fears until you have beat them.

The only way out is "through".

Don't try to face all your fears at once - it's too big a mountain for that and your strength is limited.

Bite off bits that you can chew and you will build muscle along the way and the bits you bite off will get bigger as you go.

The stuff you achieve will give you more courage to keep going.

And then, at some point, you've just overcome it. It's done.

Edited by Sophy
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On 19/04/2018 at 2:24 PM, ladysmurf said:

 I feel like I am too tense around people, I come off as being rude, because I try to go out even if its a supermarket, the cashier, or worker, might say, "Hey, good morning, or how are you?" and I quickly answer and run away. 

THIS! including family can be me. Even when I do answer quietly they don't even listen because they are too focused on preparing to pouce on me for not.

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On 4/20/2018 at 4:01 PM, Sophy said:

There is no "easy" answer to this.

Don't try to face all your fears at once - it's too big a mountain for that and your strength is limited.

Bite off bits that you can chew and you will build muscle along the way and the bits you bite off will get bigger as you go.

The stuff you achieve will give you more courage to keep going.

And then, at some point, you've just overcome it. It's done.

 

I am glad you were able to fight this and overcome it, but I think every situation varies. Me and others are in a situation where we cant even leave the house. That's a terrible way to live. I've seen like 20 doctors in the past 25 years and none have been able to be helpful so I gave up. Therapy, medications, studies, and groups were not helpful either. I am not saying this to bring down others, but for some people I don't think it can be beat. I was very stubborn and pushed myself and determined to win this but after 25 years and so much trying, I gave up. I have met others who have not left their houses in 15-20 years..(only for emergencies) it's not a fun way to live. It's annoying, and makes you very HOPELESS.

To the person who started the thread I recommend the things Sophy and others listed, and I hope you overcome it.

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2 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

I am glad you were able to fight this and overcome it, but I think every situation varies. Me and others are in a situation where we cant even leave the house. That's a terrible way to live. I've seen like 20 doctors in the past 25 years and none have been able to be helpful so I gave up. Therapy, medications, studies, and groups were not helpful either. I am not saying this to bring down others, but for some people I don't think it can be beat. I was very stubborn and pushed myself and determined to win this but after 25 years and so much trying, I gave up. I have met others who have not left their houses in 15-20 years..(only for emergencies) it's not a fun way to live. It's annoying, and makes you very HOPELESS.

To the person who started the thread I recommend the things Sophy and others listed, and I hope you overcome it.

I couldn't leave the house for years either.

So many doctor's appointments I couldn't go to, so many support group meetings I had to cancel for.

As I said, I couldn't even make it to the letter box to get my mail most days.

I was on disability for years because of this.

I would shop once a fortnight, with horrific panic attacks, so that I wouldn't have to leave the house more often.

I would eat whatever was left in the pantry, so I wouldn't have to go shopping.

I would sometimes order pizza - and pay for the pizza when it arrived with a horrific panic attack - so that I wouldn't need to leave the house to go shopping.

I had this really bad and it took a desperate effort to beat it.

But I decided that WHATEVER it took was less bad than being stuck inside a house like a prison for the rest of my life.

I agree tho, that depending on how bad someone's PTSD or panic is, maybe it is not an option.

My PTSD and panic disorder was pretty horrific, but of course there are always worse cases by far.

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On 20/4/2018 at 10:01 PM, Sophy said:

There is no "easy" answer to this.

I did a LOT of therapy.

I fought like a lion to beat this condition. I was DETERMINED that *I* would win, and that depression/ anxiety/ agoraphobia/ PTSD would not win.

I REFUSED to allow my life to be ruined by it. No matter how hard it was, I was determined that  I  W O U L D  W I N.

Did I cry and feel miserable and want to give up on most days? Yup. Of course.

But I was determined to beat it.

I figured if the first 5 therapists can't help me, I'll try a sixth one. And a seventh and eighth one, if needed.

If I can't find a therapist, I'll try reading up on the conditions until I understand them better than the average therapist.

If therapy alone doesn't help, I'll try meds. I'll be careful about it, but I'll try as many as I need to until I find one that helps.

I'll look for self-help groups, online forums, whatever, until I find people going through the same thing that I can compare notes with.

I'll go to advisory centres, social workers, community centers, charities, whatever - to get the support I need to fight this condition, because I refuse to let it win.

Sure, I came across a lot of ppl who were unhelpful, ill-informed, rude, etc too. Not very nice experiences.

But I also came across a lot of people who genuinely cared and tried their best to help me.

I dunno.

I am a VERY VERY VERY stubborn person.

Yes, depression/ anxiety/ agoraphobia/ PTSD and all the other related illnesses out there are debilitating. And yeah, they ate up more years of my life than I would've wished. But never for a split second did I think I would let those conditions win and determine the whole course of my life.

And I knew that in fighting these illnesses, I wasn't just fighting them for myself.

I knew that I was finding a way to deal with these conditions and that me finding a way would be helpful to others too.

BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE A WAY.

It's not acceptable that these illnesses are ruining so many lives for decades on end.

If our society has enough money for frivolous junk like smartphones and SUVs and shopping centres and dozens of TV channels and junk food and whatever else... Then there should %&$§*# well be enough money and resources and effort to stop soooooooo many people suffering from these illnesses more or less "in silence".

I just refuse to accept that that is "how it is". For me and for others.

I don't know what other advice I can give anyone, because the things that stopped my social anxiety/ agoraphobia are such personal issues - I had to dig really deep in therapy (and it was slow, painful work) to find out what *my* issues were and what would help with those issues.

I had to find ways to confront my fears.

Tho I have to say that some of the therapists I had early on didn't understand the notion of "confronting your fears" very well.

I did a few of those "exposure therapies" and they were just awful.

I was just being "exposed" to the situations that made me feel awful (kind of like the situation at the football club you describe @GoldenOne ) and it would just be "exposure" - there would be no "benefit", no "aha moment", no "learning" and no "desensitising"... All of those "exposure" theories/ models/ therapies did not work for me at all.

I had to find ways to confront my fears that were *productive*. Ways to prove to myself, that I was stronger than my fears.

And to prove to myself that my fears were limiting me and preventing me from living a full life.

And I had to find out what support I needed in confronting my fears. I couldn't do it without support.

But the support is a temporary crutch - like having crutches when you've broken your leg - you use them to help you, but the work is getting to use your leg again slowly, so that you don't need the crutches anymore.

I had to find ways of pushing my limits.

But for me it was important that I was the one driving the process. I was making the choices, not the therapist.

I embarrassed myself a LOT along the way. Doing things you are scared of and having them stuff up is very embarrasing. Eventually you stop caring much. Eventually you realise that everything's kind of embarrassing and who really cares. Living your life and doing everything you want is far more important than caring about what anyone thinks of you.

I guess one thing that really helped is AGE.

When you're young, you care soooooooooooo much about what other people's opinion is of you.

As you become more mature and have more experience, you start realising that other people's opinions are pretty much a joke and pretty irrelevant.

Also finding out that most people struggle with social anxiety, made a difference. You would not believe how many people are anxious socially but would never admit it in a million years and are absolute experts at covering it up.

In my current job I work with young people and I would say 9 out of 10 of them admit to having social anxiety, once we get to know each other well enough for them to talk about those kind of issues.

So if there's 20 people in a room and 18 of them have social anxiety and everyone's using really different methods to hide it... That's actually kinda funny.

I dunno what advice to give other than try and find good support (eg a therapist) and keep looking until you find one and then do the hard, slow, painful work of pushing through your own fears until you have beat them.

The only way out is "through".

Don't try to face all your fears at once - it's too big a mountain for that and your strength is limited.

Bite off bits that you can chew and you will build muscle along the way and the bits you bite off will get bigger as you go.

The stuff you achieve will give you more courage to keep going.

And then, at some point, you've just overcome it. It's done.

I have learned so far from the different therapists I have seen that I dont think I can learn that much more from going to therapy. What I mean by that is that I know how to deal with my negative thoughts when they arise. I have learned to question them, to look at them objectively, to be more realistic, even though it sometimes seems impossible to do. These are the techniques I have learned over the years, and I think they are pretty universal in the sense that all the negative feelings in my body are caused by negative thoughts (including my social anxiety, which I think deep down stems from a feeling of being wrong or inadequate), and I think from a logical perspective, the best way to deal with these negative thoughts is to force yourself to be more realistic and less all-or-nothing thinking (which is the case with most of my negative thoughts). That is not to say that this is easy. I still find myself unable to do this with succes, meaning I dont find immediate relief by doing this. But I keep doing this every single day in the hopes that one day I wont have these automatic negative thoughts. 

Seeing therapsits is still okay though. I find it comforting sometimes to talk to a professional about my thoughts, so I know that I am not alone. Also, sometimes the therapist can tell me something I hadnt thought of before. But I do believe I have mastered the techniques of CBT, which is the crucial part of therapy in my opinion.

I just hope that eventually I will beat my social anxiety and the rest of my mental health related issues. Despite my hopelessness, I still do everything I can to beat it. And things have gotten better over the years. I went from being hospitalized every few months to not being hospitalized at all, to having no social life to having a small circle of friends again, to being on welfare for a few years to studying again. So I know - objectively - that things have gotten better. But for some damn reason it doesnt make me feel hopeful. I still feel the same sort of hopelessness I have felt throughout the years. And I still struggle with social anxiety, body image issues, anhedonia and you name it.

 

 

 

 

Edited by GoldenOne
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4 minutes ago, GoldenOne said:

My social anxiety is only a part of my issues, but it is a major one.

I have learned so far from the different therapies I have seen to that I dont think I can learn that much more from going to therapy. What I mean by that is that I know how to deal with my negative thoughts when they arise. I have learned to question them, to look at them objectively, to be more realistic, even though it sometimes seems impossible to do. These are the techniques I have learned over the years, and I think they are pretty universal in the sense that all the negative feelings in my body are caused by negative thoughts, and I think from a logical perspective, the best way to deal with these negative thoughts is to force yourself to be more realistic and less all-or-nothing (which is the case with most negative thoughts). That is not to say that this is easy. On most days I still find myself unable to do this with succes, meaning I dont find immediate relief by doing this. But I keep doing this in the hopes that one day I wont have these automatic negative thoughts. Every. Single. Day. 

Seeing therapsits is still okay though. I find it comforting sometimes to talk to a professional about my thoughts, so I know that I am not alone. Also, sometimes the therapist can tell me something I hadnt thought of before. But I do believe I have mastered the techniques of CBT.

I just hope that eventually I will beat my social anxiety and the rest of my mental health related issues. Despite my hopelessness, I still try as much as I can to beat it. And things have gotten better over the years. I went from being hospitalized every few months to not being hospitalized at all, to having no social life to having a small circle of friends again, to being on welfare for a few years to studying again. So I know - objectively - that things have gotten better. But for some damn reason it doesnt make me feel hopeful. I still feel the same sort of hopelessness I have felt throughout the years. I pray that I will overcome this. I am doing everything in my power to do so.

 

 

Unfortunately these kinds of issues may well stay with you all your life. It may seem like you have learnt all you can but I do hope you continue with therapy and professional help as one day something may be revealed to you that makes a big difference. Things seemed utterly hopeless for me until I - after a very long process - ended up with a personal nurse who eventually gave me a string of diagnoses including OCD and BPD. These filled a lot of gaps and showed how I could better deal with situations. He also showed me some types of CBT I hadn't used before that actually worked a little.

I can definitely relate with the negative thoughts about yourself and the body confidence. I was once 6 stone heavier than I used to be, but even after I lost weight have still been very critical of my appearance. In recent years however this has died down somewhat as I've taken control of how I appear in other ways (body mods mainly). I still get many stray thoughts of 'I'm a fat b*stard' or even occasionally drop into big episodes over how undesirable I feel every now and then. But for the most part I don't think about it as much. In time I hope you find a way to overcome those obstacles and reshape your thinking. I'm sorry I can't offer any more concrete advice but I wish you all the best.

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11 minutes ago, ParaDoxiPaladin said:

Unfortunately these kinds of issues may well stay with you all your life. It may seem like you have learnt all you can but I do hope you continue with therapy and professional help as one day something may be revealed to you that makes a big difference. Things seemed utterly hopeless for me until I - after a very long process - ended up with a personal nurse who eventually gave me a string of diagnoses including OCD and BPD. These filled a lot of gaps and showed how I could better deal with situations. He also showed me some types of CBT I hadn't used before that actually worked a little.

I can definitely relate with the negative thoughts about yourself and the body confidence. I was once 6 stone heavier than I used to be, but even after I lost weight have still been very critical of my appearance. In recent years however this has died down somewhat as I've taken control of how I appear in other ways (body mods mainly). I still get many stray thoughts of 'I'm a fat b*stard' or even occasionally drop into big episodes over how undesirable I feel every now and then. But for the most part I don't think about it as much. In time I hope you find a way to overcome those obstacles and reshape your thinking. I'm sorry I can't offer any more concrete advice but I wish you all the best.

Yes I agree. The problem is that SAD is often associated with other disorders, in many cases up to 80-90% have depression, (perhaps the hopelessness you are referring to is depression?) and it is something that stays with us forever, but it does not mean that it has to take over our lives. The fact that you have a small circle of friends, and went from dropping out of school to going back are all good signs. You should be proud of yourself!! And continue to learn new ways on how to handle it, because it's something that unfortunately will always be with us. Its chronic whether we like to admit it or not.

 

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Ah I don't have SAD. I have anxiety, depression (both 'severe'), ptsd, ocd, and bpd, and consider myself 'borderline autistic' as I was just two marks from aspergers when tested. I have a few friends with SAD and in all cases there are other issues too (one of them also has dyspraxia). Apologies for any confusion - I didn't drop out of school - I was 25 and working and had to quit since things were too much at the time. Since then I have been working on getting back on track. I'll be 30 later this year. But thank you :grinning: I do try to remind myself of how far I've come. Just as everyone here should try their best to focus on the positives whenever they can, no matter how minor they may be and how impossible that can so often seem.

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If I will never overcome my mental health problems, I dont see much point living. Other people have beat depression, social anxiety and other disorders. So why shouldnt I?

Believing that it will always be part of you is a very depressing thought. And I believe it prevents you from actual recovery. I have my own thoughts of hopelessness and suicide, but I keep fighting, because this cant be the end of me. If I were to struggle with these kinds of issues for the rest of my life, I dont see much reason to keep on living. And I know other people have beat depression, anxiety, borderline etc. So why shouldnt I? Why shouldnt you?

Edited by GoldenOne
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1 hour ago, GoldenOne said:

If I will never overcome my mental health problems, I dont see much point living. Other people have beat depression, social anxiety and other disorders. So why shouldnt I?

Believing that it will always be part of you is a very depressing thought. And I believe it prevents you from actual recovery. I have my own thoughts of hopelessness and suicide, but I keep fighting, because this cant be the end of me. If I were to struggle with these kinds of issues for the rest of my life, I dont see much reason to keep on living. And I know other people have beat depression, anxiety, borderline etc. So why shouldnt I? Why shouldnt you?

I'm sure you *will* beat it.

It will probably remain in your life to, say 2 or 3 % even if you do.

If will be like someone who has recovered from Type 2 diabetes, or a recovered alcoholic.

It will no longer dominate your life, but it will always have "belonged" to your life in some sense and like a recovered alcoholic, you will probably always need to be a bit "careful" to not exposes yourself to the risk of depression/ anxiety coming back.

These illnesses are definitely beatable - although I'm sure there's some small percentage of theoretically "untreatable" cases, but that's a tiny percentage.

The much bigger problem is finding GOOD and EFFECTIVE treatment.

Make it a priority.

Make sure that the hard work of therapy is what you choose, because you refuse to live inside a mental prison for the rest of your life.

And be aware that effective therapy is REALLY REALLY HARD WORK.

And you do 90% of the work. The therapist does 10%.

Real therapy is not like going to get a haircut at the hairdressers, where the hairdresser does all the work and you just sit there.

And know that going through effective therapy means you will have to FACE all your demons and fears.

Therapy is not the "easy way out".

It means overcoming your fears by battling them and winning.

Once you are stronger than your fears, then it's done.

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3 hours ago, GoldenOne said:

If I will never overcome my mental health problems, I dont see much point living. Other people have beat depression, social anxiety and other disorders. So why shouldnt I?

Believing that it will always be part of you is a very depressing thought. And I believe it prevents you from actual recovery. I have my own thoughts of hopelessness and suicide, but I keep fighting, because this cant be the end of me. If I were to struggle with these kinds of issues for the rest of my life, I dont see much reason to keep on living. And I know other people have beat depression, anxiety, borderline etc. So why shouldnt I? Why shouldnt you?

I can't say because I'm not a medical expert, nor do I know your situation well enough to respond that it will remain in your life at 2-3% or 1% or 10% (everyone's situation is different) but it will be something that you will have to deal with just like any chronic illness. But you continue to fight because life can be sweet. There are times when I felt better, and I miss them, I'd give anything to get them back. So I continued to try for that simple reason. For my goals, dreams, hobbies, for the dream/hope that some of the sweet moments/memories life gave to me years ago I would have the opportunity to live again. Each of us continues to tries for the reasons that mean most to them.

Don't get discouraged....like others said it will be around you, but not always troubling you. When I took an anti-depressant and along with therapy I went from being locked up in my room for years to becoming a more active person. I wouldn't say the anxiety went away 100% or the depression. There were struggles in my daily life. I had therapy and I still needed the advice from my therapist and my medication to function.

That does NOT mean that your life will be like that. Everyone reacts, responds differently, and has different battles to fight. Unfortunately, it is something that even when I took the medication and went to therapy it somewhat still bothered me, (BUT to a VERY lesser degree) I used techniques and advice from therapy and tried to overcome it. (Like when I had to give speeches or presentations in classes I was nervous and anxious. When I had to go to areas where there were big crowds it bothered me, (parties, clubs, events, etc) but I had the help of my therapist and used his advice on how to be in control of the situation) But I was able to live a far more productive and functional back then, than I am now. (even though I did have my bad days).

You can always look near your area for support groups, or maybe ask your doctors if they know any. It's nice to meet others in your area who you can hang out or talk to on the phone who can relate. I have met some people from programs, and we understand each other, and help each other out in times of need. Try looking on Meetup too they have groups in local areas for almost everything and anxiety/depression included.

Good luck!

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On 4/22/2018 at 5:10 PM, ParaDoxiPaladin said:

Ah I don't have SAD. I have anxiety, depression (both 'severe'), ptsd, ocd, and bpd, and consider myself 'borderline autistic' as I was just two marks from aspergers when tested. I have a few friends with SAD and in all cases there are other issues too (one of them also has dyspraxia). Apologies for any confusion - I didn't drop out of school - I was 25 and working and had to quit since things were too much at the time. Since then I have been working on getting back on track. I'll be 30 later this year. But thank you :grinning: I do try to remind myself of how far I've come. Just as everyone here should try their best to focus on the positives whenever they can, no matter how minor they may be and how impossible that can so often seem.

Sorry my mistake I think I was trying to replying to the original poster? Unless I read it wrong about school?. Yes OCD and PTSD can be very painful and annoying too. I don't have much experience with the other disorders, but I wish you the best. I had to quit everything too, and basically my whole life is a misery because of social anxiety along with my other problems. But I wish you the best, and be proud that you are still out there trying to make things better for yourself.

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7 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

Sorry my mistake I think I was trying to replying to the original poster? Unless I read it wrong about school?. Yes OCD and PTSD can be very painful and annoying too. I don't have much experience with the other disorders, but I wish you the best. I had to quit everything too, and basically my whole life is a misery because of social anxiety along with my other problems. But I wish you the best, and be proud that you are still out there trying to make things better for yourself.

No problem :smile: thanks and all the best to you too

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