musiclover83 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 At this point I just want this week to end. I've developed such an irrational hatred of that tennis player who I had never heard of until Sunday. I don't even know if my CO and her have ever actually met, but I get so jealous at the thought of her with him. If I never thought about her again, I'd be happy. It's not just her possible connection to him that annoys me, though that's a lot of it. She strikes me as being very full of herself and vain. She's a pretty girl, I'll give her that, but I have little patience for people who seem arrogant about their looks. Maybe that's hypocritical considering how much time I spend dwelling on what I hate about my own looks. Either way it's obsessing over your looks. Ugh. Whatever. I just don't like her and hate the thought of him being with someone like her. Which he may not even be. Blocking her on twitter hasn't kept me from going to his or her pages on instagram and seeing if they're following each other. Repeatedly. They aren't. I've been checking his twitter likes obsessively - her tweets don't show up when I look on my own account, but I can see the number of likes he has and see if it's changed. I hate that I do these things. I need to figure out a way to harness all the energy and focus I'm giving them and channel in into something positive. Instead of something that only hurts me. I used to have a music blog I enjoyed writing and it was doing pretty well for a while, but it's been months since I've written anything for it. I also had a couple of stories I was working on that I haven't worked on in a while. I used to love writing so much. I get ideas, but I can't seem to muster up the energy to write them out. It makes me wonder how much writing I could get done if I used the time I spent obsessing to write instead. Maybe in addition to looking for ways/places to volunteer, I should make an effort to write whenever I start obsessing. Meanwhile it seems like members of the team are slowly starting to return to the city. Rookie camp will be starting around the 13th and after that comes training camp with all the current members of the roster. So my CO will be back in the city sometime in the next month. I'm very curious to see how I do once the season starts and I can watch him play again. Will it help? Or will seeing him more often make it harder? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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