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On May 1, 2018 at 11:38 AM, decado said:

I really dislike Instagram so much right now! Why do we get this overwhelming need to check this sites when they only ever bring heartbreak? 😢

Sorry for venting I’m just feeling so very sad right now. I hope everyone else is doing ok though 😘

Good question! Sometimes I wish I had never heard of Instagram. Out of all the social media sites, that one has caused the most damage to me. 

It's been a strange couple of days. On one hand, I'm proud of myself because I've resisted the urge to look at the pages for that photographer and clothing line I unfollowed. On the other, I feel like I've checked my CO's page more often than usual. Nothing new. The last picture he was tagged in that shows up is from December and the last picture he posted was a great one of him from another photoshoot. I have that picture saved and wish I could resist the urge to keep checking his page for anything new.

You know what else is strange? The playoffs for his sport are happening right now and there's games pretty much every other day so I see him play, but I miss him on the off days. How does that even work? How can I miss someone I've never actually met? But I do. 

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On 5/1/2018 at 0:38 PM, decado said:

I really dislike Instagram so much right now! Why do we get this overwhelming need to check this sites when they only ever bring heartbreak? 😢

Sorry for venting I’m just feeling so very sad right now. I hope everyone else is doing ok though 😘

I hope you’re feeling better @decado! Instagram is how I discovered my newest CO. He’s not very famous, so he has time to respond to comments that he receives. He’s responded to a few of mine, so of course I got a little thrill out of that. I know it means nothing, but I can see how people could get their hopes up and take it the wrong way. There are certain people who are always leaving him comments and trying to get his attention. When a CO seems somewhat “accessible” that can be just as emotionally frustrating as the opposite situation. But I like to think that my self-control is pretty good and that I won’t send him any crazy messages in a moment of weakness. lol

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*cries* wish I had better impulse control. I was blocked by two of such less famous COs. I feel devestated and ashamed. I can still see them via other types of social media, but it feels like kinda bad to do that. But they have public profiles, ya know? And it's not called obsession for nothing. I've gone like a month without really thinking of them, but last few days sparked up memories again. We used to talk, like a lot. Anyway, I really don't know if I fit in here, but I can't talk to anyone else about this. I'm just depressed as hell and was hoping for tips on what or how to move on gracefully, when I don't know if I can. Is following them bad if I don't bother them? I've learned my lesson. It's just all so sad!  Ive been too scared to post this for months, but I need to heal and therapy hasn't worked.

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2 hours ago, anxiousE said:

*cries* wish I had better impulse control. I was blocked by two of such less famous COs. I feel devestated and ashamed. I can still see them via other types of social media, but it feels like kinda bad to do that. But they have public profiles, ya know? And it's not called obsession for nothing. I've gone like a month without really thinking of them, but last few days sparked up memories again. We used to talk, like a lot. Anyway, I really don't know if I fit in here, but I can't talk to anyone else about this. I'm just depressed as hell and was hoping for tips on what or how to move on gracefully, when I don't know if I can. Is following them bad if I don't bother them? I've learned my lesson. It's just all so sad!  Ive been too scared to post this for months, but I need to heal and therapy hasn't worked.

Hey there, I’m sorry to hear about what happened. :( I’m sure there are others out there who can relate so it’s a good thing you posted. You said that you learned your lesson, so that’s the most important thing. I guess all you can do now is acknowledge that you made a mistake, forgive yourself for it, and try not to repeat it in the future. If continuing to follow them is going to tempt you to contact them again or make you depressed, then I think you try very hard not to follow them. I know that’s tough. :( 

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3 hours ago, anxiousE said:

*cries* wish I had better impulse control. I was blocked by two of such less famous COs. I feel devestated and ashamed. I can still see them via other types of social media, but it feels like kinda bad to do that. But they have public profiles, ya know? And it's not called obsession for nothing. I've gone like a month without really thinking of them, but last few days sparked up memories again. We used to talk, like a lot. Anyway, I really don't know if I fit in here, but I can't talk to anyone else about this. I'm just depressed as hell and was hoping for tips on what or how to move on gracefully, when I don't know if I can. Is following them bad if I don't bother them? I've learned my lesson. It's just all so sad!  Ive been too scared to post this for months, but I need to heal and therapy hasn't worked.

I don't think you could get blocked just for "following" a public web page, unless they blocked you by mistake. So, is there something specific that happened that caused them to block you, or were you just suddenly blocked and you don't know why? Were you following them around in real life, or just online? It sounds like you talked with them, so were they actually friends? Sorry for all the questions. I just don't feel there is enough information to be able to tell you how to proceed from here, or what to do about it.

Feel free to PM me if you would rather talk privately. I'd be happy to listen.

Edited by BlueStarr

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On 5/6/2018 at 2:11 AM, BlueStarr said:

I don't think you could get blocked just for "following" a public web page, unless they blocked you by mistake. So, is there something specific that happened that caused them to block you, or were you just suddenly blocked and you don't know why? Were you following them around in real life, or just online? It sounds like you talked with them, so were they actually friends? Sorry for all the questions. I just don't feel there is enough information to be able to tell you how to proceed from here, or what to do about it.

Feel free to PM me if you would rather talk privately. I'd be happy to listen.

I knew them online, not in real life. But I wanted to, or had thought of the fantasy of meeting them one day. I guess I was just asking too many things about them and recalling old things they'd said and repeating it. All public stuff they'd said, mind you. I guess they just thought it was too much. They warned me, but you know, most never knows what is too much until it's too late and it was mostly nonspecific warnings, which were utterly useless. I say I learned my lesson, I learned that if you get a single warning, it's best to keep shut with that individual because you'll never live up to what they want. *sigh* I guess I'm a bit bitter about this block. Think it's unfair. But on the other hand, I don't want to startle them now. I still care about them. I think that's the hardest part of all of this. I want them to have peace of mind, so I think it probably is best to just stay away. I think I'm just looking for support in my loss when I keep saying I want to follow them,and/or I do check the pages every now and again, because of my habit, that I'm not quite done, but I'm working on it. You know?

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On 5/6/2018 at 1:30 AM, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Hey there, I’m sorry to hear about what happened. :( I’m sure there are others out there who can relate so it’s a good thing you posted. You said that you learned your lesson, so that’s the most important thing. I guess all you can do now is acknowledge that you made a mistake, forgive yourself for it, and try not to repeat it in the future. If continuing to follow them is going to tempt you to contact them again or make you depressed, then I think you try very hard not to follow them. I know that’s tough. :( 

thanks! that's probably what I should try to do. But you know, I'm not perfect, so it might take some time to get completely over this. you can read my post above if interested. 

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@anxiousE,

What are nonspecific warnings? Did they just say to quit posting forever?

It doesn't sound like you did anything terrible, so I don't see why they blocked you unless they are just nasty people. If you were writing them hundreds of messages, then I guess that would be too much. (Or if the messages were somehow inappropriate.) I still don't know what happened.

If you really think you did something wrong, maybe just apologize, tell them you still care about them, and that you'll never repeat the same behavior again? They might accept and be nicer than you think. It sounds like you didn't know you annoyed them, so maybe you could just tell them that. (But tell them only once, lol!)

Edited by BlueStarr

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4 hours ago, BlueStarr said:

@anxiousE,

What are nonspecific warnings? Did they just say to quit posting forever?

It doesn't sound like you did anything terrible, so I don't see why they blocked you unless they are just nasty people. If you were writing them hundreds of messages, then I guess that would be too much. (Or if the messages were somehow inappropriate.) I still don't know what happened.

If you really think you did something wrong, maybe just apologize, tell them you still care about them, and that you'll never repeat the same behavior again? They might accept and be nicer than you think. It sounds like you didn't know you annoyed them, so maybe you could just tell them that. (But tell them only once, lol!)

I’m sorry, but I really don’t recommend contacting anyone who’s blocked you. It shows that you went out of your way to contact them despite being blocked which reinforces to them that they were right to block you, and maybe they need to take more serious measures.

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3 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I’m sorry, but I really don’t recommend contacting anyone who’s blocked you. It shows that you went out of your way to contact them despite being blocked which reinforces to them that they were right to block you, and maybe they need to take more serious measures.

@HopelessRomantic, 

I wasn't the one they blocked. I was talking to anxiousE, and offering what could be bad advice. Since I don't know what really happened with anxiousE, I thought maybe apologizing (just once) might set things straight, if it was a misunderstanding. It might make things worse, but we don't really know the circumstances.

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55 minutes ago, BlueStarr said:

@HopelessRomantic, 

I wasn't the one they blocked. I was talking to anxiousE, and offering what could be bad advice. Since I don't know what really happened with anxiousE, I thought maybe apologizing (just once) might set things straight, if it was a misunderstanding. It might make things worse, but we don't really know the circumstances.

Oh, I know it wasn’t you. When I said “you”, I was using the general “you.” I can certainly understand wanting to attempt to clear up a misunderstanding, but if I were to block someone for whatever reason, I don’t think I’d be receptive to hearing from them if they tried to circumvent my block to contact me again. That’s just my humble opinion on the situation, but I’m sure it’s tough. :(

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18 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I’m sorry, but I really don’t recommend contacting anyone who’s blocked you. It shows that you went out of your way to contact them despite being blocked which reinforces to them that they were right to block you, and maybe they need to take more serious measures.

yeah, thanks for saying this. I know it's a terrible misunderstanding and i still don't think I deserved the block and get tempted to re-engage, but, what you've said is why I don't think I should. Sigh, so as I said, I just need support. Stuff keeps reminding me of them. I'm trying to put new memories with things, but at the same time, i don't want to fully forget. anyway, thanks folks for listening! :)

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21 hours ago, anxiousE said:

yeah, thanks for saying this. I know it's a terrible misunderstanding and i still don't think I deserved the block and get tempted to re-engage, but, what you've said is why I don't think I should. Sigh, so as I said, I just need support. Stuff keeps reminding me of them. I'm trying to put new memories with things, but at the same time, i don't want to fully forget. anyway, thanks folks for listening! :)

Sure, we’re happy to listen! I guess all you can really do is give it time and try to stay busy with other things that you enjoy. I find that it’s very easy for me to get consumed with my COs when I’m feeling bored or depressed or isolated which is pretty much how I feel most of the time. A CO can easily become that bright spot in your otherwise dull day, so you can’t help but want to focus on them as much as possible. It’s like a drug.

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On May 9, 2018 at 8:53 PM, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Sure, we’re happy to listen! I guess all you can really do is give it time and try to stay busy with other things that you enjoy. I find that it’s very easy for me to get consumed with my COs when I’m feeling bored or depressed or isolated which is pretty much how I feel most of the time. A CO can easily become that bright spot in your otherwise dull day, so you can’t help but want to focus on them as much as possible. It’s like a drug.

That's exactly what it's like. A drug. A way to escape from reality. I agree with trying to stay busy, but for me that's easier said than done. It's so hard sometimes.

Instagram continues to be a problem for me. I was doing so good avoiding two accounts that have seemed problematic, but I caved and looked. The upside is at least some of the pictures from the photoshoot I was worried about were up and they weren't as bad as I worried they might be. Actually, they weren't bad at all, but I still think I need to stay away from those accounts.

The downside is that my team just got eliminated from the playoffs and as depressed as I am about it, the worst part may be that I won't get to see my CO on TV until October. Maybe that'll turn out to be a good thing. It just makes me so sad to think that the season is over and I'll be without my regular fix, if you want to call it that. 

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13 hours ago, musiclover83 said:

That's exactly what it's like. A drug. A way to escape from reality. I agree with trying to stay busy, but for me that's easier said than done. It's so hard sometimes.

Instagram continues to be a problem for me. I was doing so good avoiding two accounts that have seemed problematic, but I caved and looked. The upside is at least some of the pictures from the photoshoot I was worried about were up and they weren't as bad as I worried they might be. Actually, they weren't bad at all, but I still think I need to stay away from those accounts.

The downside is that my team just got eliminated from the playoffs and as depressed as I am about it, the worst part may be that I won't get to see my CO on TV until October. Maybe that'll turn out to be a good thing. It just makes me so sad to think that the season is over and I'll be without my regular fix, if you want to call it that. 

Yeah, that’s understandable. If I’m not able to get recent news, photos, etc. of a CO, I don’t obsess over them as much. But my current CO posts on IG every day, sometimes multiple times a day and he usually responds to comments. I’m actually getting a little sad to see his number of followers growing. It’s very selfish of me, but I think that the more popular he gets then he won’t be able to respond to my comments anymore. I just want him to be my little secret, but that’s not gonna happen! :(

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On 29 April 2018 at 11:56 PM, nosleep said:

Funny, I have the same feeling about my CO. He's a big guy, 6'3 and kind of chubby, too. Has a big beard these days. There's just something so big and gruff and comforting about him. Like a giant, wonderful teddy bear. I'm only 5 feet fall and the thought of just being wrapped up in his arms and snuggling up next to him just makes me so happy.  Not much else makes me happy these days so I cling to my fantasies because without them, I'd be left with just...emptiness, and I can't handle that. 

I started to tell my therapist about him, but chickened out at the last minute. I can see she's already concerned for me and I don't want to give her anything that might think I'm in danger of becoming a crazed stalker or anything like that. 

I appreciate everyone's advice and tips on how to avoid fixating on their CO.  I'm not quite strong enough to try that yet, but I hope to get there soon. Right now, I feel like if I don't check his twitter and his youtube channel or soundcloud at least once or twice a day, I'll miss something more important than anything that's happening in my own, actual, real life. 

Sorry to be such a downer!  It hasn't been a very good day for me. 

Aww, he sounds real sweet, I wonder if it's the same guy, lol, as my crush dude gets called "bear" a lot by his fans! My guy crush has a really gruff voice and I find it so sexy and manly. 😍

The emptiness can be horrible, and reality such a vacant space, you know, I'm sick of my mind telling me to get a grip on reality when reality can be such a drab, boring place...I write poems myself, just to escape it all...I wrote a poem about him, about his [email protected] BlueStarr haha no, it's not quite a vampire movie, in which I fancy him, but he was in a vampire movie when he got old (older) and he looked so weird in it ☺️ It's a horror thriller movie from the eighties..

 I am youngish, but I find guys today (celebs and non) to be such a turn off! I can't stand the fashion of those skinny jeans etc, my CO wore some really quirky clothes back in his heyday...it's funny, when he was in his 20s in the 60s and 70s, I think he was kind of unattractive  and sleazy looking but as he aged into the 80s and into his 40s, he matured & became such a sexy unusually handsome man! Oh look at me shame on me...I could ramble for hours !

I've been looking at his film again, the movie in which I'm obsessed with him in. Mmmmm...yum...! He's so hot. I love his accent too.

ok, I'm going off again so I better go but thank you for listening.

 

TotallyBatty x

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When you girls are talking about big, burly men, I can't help but think of the actor who played "Hagrid" in the Harry Potter movies, lol! :grinning: Is he by any chance the same actor?

 

Edited by BlueStarr

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So my CO did a live video on IG today and he smiled and said "Hey (insert my IG name here), how are you?" So of course I had to screen record it to save that moment forever. lol I'm not bragging, by the way. I know it means nothing, but you all are the only ones who understand this sort of thing. If I mentioned it to anyone else, they'd be like "Um, get a life please!" haha I had the opportunity to say some other stuff to him too, but of course my mind went blank so I couldn't even think of anything good to ask him. *sigh* And I found out that he has a girlfriend too, so that kind of sucks, but what can you do? At least he's nice to his fans.

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Hi guys. It's been a few months since I was here last. I do visit regularly, because everyday something happens that makes think 'God, this hurts. I should whine to people who are going through the same'. But I know I'll sound like a cracked record and sign out.

So, SHE has started to come watch him play live. And people are say, 'Don't troll her because he fails or his team loses'. Ok, the team's victories and defeats are nothing to do with her. But the undeniable fact is, is that when she is present in the stadium, he strikes out immediately. He's never led his team to a victory when she's there. And yeah, it's fine to support your other half. But when she's in the stands, my CO and she spend most of the matches glancing at each other and sending air kisses.

Their PDAs and social media conversations have gone through the roof. They b*tch about not being comfortable with constant media scrutiny and not having a private life, but they are both playing up to the cameras and posting pictures and messages on their public accounts. Now, I know I should stop following his social, but members of my own family are retweeting and sharing their posts. 

Other sites call me a hater and jealous. I don't deny any of those comments, but I just wish people could see how false and attention-whoring these two are. 

They won't divorce; he loves her and she is getting more attention from the media and public than she ever did pre-him. All her flops, all her passive aggressive comments, all her pretentiousness, she gets away with it all. 

I have headaches all day, I am simultaneously tired yet can't sleep, I'm overweight. I don't enjoy anything. I'll only be happy if I die.

Just needed to get that out.

Thanks guys.

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@sv14,

Welcome back. :smile:

If she is that awful and pretentious, she won't get away with it forever. The public doesn't know enough about her, so they might be fooled for a while, but he's the one who has to actually live with her. If what you say about her is true, and it's not just jealousy talking, then he is bound to get sick of her too. Stay away from social media if you can. Most of it is fake and phony anyway. Also, people always tend to post only the happy stuff that makes them look good, so you are getting a very narrow view about what goes on in their lives.

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21 hours ago, sv14 said:

Hi guys. It's been a few months since I was here last. I do visit regularly, because everyday something happens that makes think 'God, this hurts. I should whine to people who are going through the same'. But I know I'll sound like a cracked record and sign out.

So, SHE has started to come watch him play live. And people are say, 'Don't troll her because he fails or his team loses'. Ok, the team's victories and defeats are nothing to do with her. But the undeniable fact is, is that when she is present in the stadium, he strikes out immediately. He's never led his team to a victory when she's there. And yeah, it's fine to support your other half. But when she's in the stands, my CO and she spend most of the matches glancing at each other and sending air kisses.

Their PDAs and social media conversations have gone through the roof. They b*tch about not being comfortable with constant media scrutiny and not having a private life, but they are both playing up to the cameras and posting pictures and messages on their public accounts. Now, I know I should stop following his social, but members of my own family are retweeting and sharing their posts. 

Other sites call me a hater and jealous. I don't deny any of those comments, but I just wish people could see how false and attention-whoring these two are. 

They won't divorce; he loves her and she is getting more attention from the media and public than she ever did pre-him. All her flops, all her passive aggressive comments, all her pretentiousness, she gets away with it all. 

I have headaches all day, I am simultaneously tired yet can't sleep, I'm overweight. I don't enjoy anything. I'll only be happy if I die.

Just needed to get that out.

Thanks guys.

I’m sorry you’re feeling down, @sv14. ((Hugs))

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SV14,

Please don't give up.  I have been there.  I can relate to the headaches all day and the tired can't sleep and the overweightness.  I am Bipolar so I have struggled with sleep since my diagnosis and ever since I moved to CA I have been at least 20 pounds overweight and I don't know why.  I guess the older women get, the harder it is to lose weight.  I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  My obsession with my co is now competing with thoughts of my dog.  I just put her to sleep yesterday and I'm so much sadder than I thought.  I just have to hold on to the mental health I have now...I can't lose sleep over my dog or my co anymore.  My dog would want me to move on and so would my co. 

Hang in there.

Best Wishes.

 

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3 hours ago, starbucksjunkee said:

SV14,

Please don't give up.  I have been there.  I can relate to the headaches all day and the tired can't sleep and the overweightness.  I am Bipolar so I have struggled with sleep since my diagnosis and ever since I moved to CA I have been at least 20 pounds overweight and I don't know why.  I guess the older women get, the harder it is to lose weight.  I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  My obsession with my co is now competing with thoughts of my dog.  I just put her to sleep yesterday and I'm so much sadder than I thought.  I just have to hold on to the mental health I have now...I can't lose sleep over my dog or my co anymore.  My dog would want me to move on and so would my co. 

Hang in there.

Best Wishes.

 

I’m so sorry to hear about your dog, @starbucksjunkee. Pets are so very special and our time with them is always too short. 😞

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On 5/13/2018 at 2:58 PM, BlueStarr said:

When you girls are talking about big, burly men, I can't help but think of the actor who played "Hagrid" in the Harry Potter movies, lol! :grinning: Is he by any chance the same actor?

 

That's Robbie Coltrane - he's definitely not my CO, but if I'm honest, there's some similarity in looks! My CO is only 32, and he's not that famous - he's more of an internet celebrity. He's recently been doing a few podcasts, and I get so paranoid that he'll see my IP address repeated that I always listen (and re-listen) with my VPN on.  He runs a chat channel, too, for people who follow him and contribute to his Patreon, and he pops up on it occasionally, but I've never been brave enough to join in. People on there seem to know each other already. I feel like a massive stalker/intruder and I don't want him to connect even my screen name with being a loser.  It's all so ridiculously high school that I'm embarrassed to even talk about it. 

 

On 5/19/2018 at 7:40 PM, starbucksjunkee said:

SV14,

Please don't give up.  I have been there.  I can relate to the headaches all day and the tired can't sleep and the overweightness.  I am Bipolar so I have struggled with sleep since my diagnosis and ever since I moved to CA I have been at least 20 pounds overweight and I don't know why.  I guess the older women get, the harder it is to lose weight.  I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  My obsession with my co is now competing with thoughts of my dog.  I just put her to sleep yesterday and I'm so much sadder than I thought.  I just have to hold on to the mental health I have now...I can't lose sleep over my dog or my co anymore.  My dog would want me to move on and so would my co. 

Hang in there.

Best Wishes.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my dog just over a year ago, and I still think about him every day. We still have his sister, and she's a great comfort to me, but it was a long time before I could even say his name without crying. Don't push yourself to move on until you're ready. Dogs are family members, and losing them is painful. Move on at your own pace and don't let anyone try to rush you! 

 

 

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