Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2

[BBNo1]

Hello, long time since I came here. 
I have to share this but I am so scared someone is gonna see my post and recognizes me.

I met my CO a couple of weeks ago (I already met him some years ago). I spent a lot of money (in my terms) to see him. Book a flight, hotel, and so on. He knew who I am... he recognized me. I have never been so excited in my life, I literally had the feeling my heart is going to jump out my chest. We had a couple of minutes to talk. He is just the sweetest person. I love his eyes so much, I kept on staring. i love his nose and mouth also..We were standing very close, I know it sounds pathetic but I tried to find out if he has a bad breath...nothing! It seems like he is the imperfection of being perfect (even if he is not perfect, to me he is)! I got a couple of photos with him, I wish I could share them with you.. show you how happy I look, show you how adorable he is. 

I also feel very guilty towards my husband. But I swear I can not help it. I am so much in love. I suffer since the moment I saw him the first time but I can‘t and won‘t let him go. To be clear, I love my husband but I also love my CO.. 

Maybe someone can send me a private message? I wish I could tell all of it...
 

[starbucksjunkee]

If you want to Pm me I will keep what you share confidential I promise.  I have no idea who you are or where you are.  I have to go back to bed.  It’s 230a.m. 

[nikki114]

Ugh.  I hate lipstickalley.  They're always ruining my COs for me and they did it again.  I wish I could permanently end my obsession with current COs or at least not be drawn to that website.  DO I have to give him up or can I find another place to drool over him.  I know I'll never be with him, and given what I've learned or intuited, I'm fine with that.  But come on.  It's fantasy.  Don't try to ruin my fantasy.  Plus I get irrationally jealous of people sometimes.  I hate that about myself.  I don't wanna get jealous or catty about any woman who gets near any of my COs.  Plus not only do they bash over his live friends/girlfriends, they bash his dead fiancee/girlfriend and their baby (also dead).  That doesn't sit well with me.  A lot of the things they've did and said don't sit well with, whether they're true or not.  Yet I can't stop visiting.  How do I stop?  What do I do?

[HopelessRomantic2011]

10 minutes ago, nikki114 said:

Ugh.  I hate lipstickalley.  They're always ruining my COs for me and they did it again.  I wish I could permanently end my obsession with current COs or at least not be drawn to that website.  DO I have to give him up or can I find another place to drool over him.  I know I'll never be with him, and given what I've learned or intuited, I'm fine with that.  But come on.  It's fantasy.  Don't try to ruin my fantasy.  Plus I get irrationally jealous of people sometimes.  I hate that about myself.  I don't wanna get jealous or catty about any woman who gets near any of my COs.  Plus not only do they bash over his live friends/girlfriends, they bash his dead fiancee/girlfriend and their baby (also dead).  That doesn't sit well with me.  A lot of the things they've did and said don't sit well with, whether they're true or not.  Yet I can't stop visiting.  How do I stop?  What do I do?

I’ve read some of the threads on LSA and I usually end up laughing. I guess I’m lucky that the people there don’t care about or simply don’t know who my COs are for the most part. There is one actor who I used to like who I don’t like as much anymore after reading the thread about him, but that isn’t LSA’s fault. I just got bored with him. But if you find the site too negative and really don’t want to go back, maybe you’ll have to add it to your list of restricted websites until you have the willpower not to look at it on your own.

[nikki114]

10 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I’ve read some of the threads on LSA and I usually end up laughing. I guess I’m lucky that the people there don’t care about or simply don’t know who my COs are for the most part. There is one actor who I used to like who I don’t like as much anymore after reading the thread about him, but that isn’t LSA’s fault. I just got bored with him. But if you find the site too negative and really don’t want to go back, maybe you’ll have to add it to your list of restricted websites until you have the willpower not to look at it on your own.

It's okay sometimes.  The other threads I've visited aren't as crazy...usually.  But the latest CO's thread has over 1000 pages and like 30,000 comments on it.  No kidding.  And most of it is dedicated to trashing his latest (very likely PR) piece.  1000 pages.  Freaking ridiculous.  Unfortunately, I think a lot of what they say about him is true.   I know that people have their flaws and stuff, but they've found a way to ruin him for him.  And now I can't enjoy him without thinking of his PR girlfriend or that thread.  Which is supposed to be a "thirst and appreciation" thread that has turned into a hate thread.  I hate those b-words.

[HopelessRomantic2011]

16 minutes ago, nikki114 said:

It's okay sometimes.  The other threads I've visited aren't as crazy...usually.  But the latest CO's thread has over 1000 pages and like 30,000 comments on it.  No kidding.  And most of it is dedicated to trashing his latest (very likely PR) piece.  1000 pages.  Freaking ridiculous.  Unfortunately, I think a lot of what they say about him is true.   I know that people have their flaws and stuff, but they've found a way to ruin him for him.  And now I can't enjoy him without thinking of his PR girlfriend or that thread.  Which is supposed to be a "thirst and appreciation" thread that has turned into a hate thread.  I hate those b-words.

So if you think a lot of what they say about him is true, then the problem is him and not LSA, and your anger is misplaced. But if you choose to like him despite his flaws then who cares what anyone else has to say about him? He’s definitely not the only guy with a PR girlfriend. Some people on the Internet will always be unnecessarily mean because it’s easy to do that when you’re anonymous.

[BlueStarr]

On 12/24/2019 at 3:55 PM, starbucksjunkee said:

Look I am sorry...I should have sent the message to Anxious privately.   He/she is having a hard time letting go of someone he/she used to know.   She/he asked if what he/she was doing was obsessing and it wasn’t a co issue.   We are conversing about it on private message so I can’t say anymore.   I don’t want to betray her/his confidence.  I feel bad when people post here and they are told they are posting to the wrong place.  Just trying to help.   I gave up this place for a while maybe I should give it up permanently.   I just get too personal and I am often very misunderstood.   Goodbye for now.

 

The CO issue is a separate thing from the friend problems. I thought you were talking about the CO, and I wondered why you would be surprised that someone would have CO problems since that's what this thread is about. I'm sick too, so maybe I misunderstood what you said. I hope you don't feel like you have to go away from the board just because I wanted some clarification on what you said.

Edited December 28, 2019 by BlueStarr

[BlueStarr]

On 12/25/2019 at 3:17 AM, nikki114 said:

Ugh.  I hate lipstickalley.  They're always ruining my COs for me and they did it again.  I wish I could permanently end my obsession with current COs or at least not be drawn to that website.  DO I have to give him up or can I find another place to drool over him. 

Why can't you find another fan group? I don't see why you should have to "give him up" just because people are saying nasty things on a website. It sounds like there are jealous people there who don't want him to be involved in a relationship, so they make nasty comments about his girlfriends and significant others. If you're mature enough to see through the nastiness and not like it, then good for you. It's all just jealousy, imo.

[BlueStarr]

@anxiousE,

I sent you a PM so feel free to take a look when you can. 🙂

[starbucksjunkee]

@Blue Starr It’s okay AnxiousE said it was probably just a misunderstanding.  You guys understand better than anyone in real life so I can’t leave.  My brother, my therapist, and two of my female friends are the only ones who know that Josh is still in my thoughts practically daily.  The craziest thing happened yesterday.  My sister got me a gift card for Target and I was trying things on and all of the sudden the song Heaven By The Walkmen came on the radio.  It was on the last episode of HIMYM!  
I said okay there is no way I am going to buy any of this now because every time I wear it I will associate it with him.   I finished getting dressed then I lost my dad.  I couldn’t find him anywhere.  I tried calling him on his cell and he didn’t answer.  I called my mom three times.  I had one of the male employees go in the bathroom and ask if he was in there.   Major panic attack.  Finally after what seemed like an eternity my dad called.  He had found really comfortable chairs in the maternity department!  The only place I didn’t check!  And his phone was on do not disturb mode!  

I was so mad at him.  It seems like that kind of stuff happens a lot when I am thinking about Josh. It feels like God is saying you have to forget him.  I had a favorite fleece blanket and when I was thinking about him I lost it.  Is it a coincidence, bad luck or is God trying to tell me something?  The only reason I don’t let him go is there’s no risk involved. I haven’t been on a date with a good guy since 2008.  I dated guys after that but they messed me up and I regret it.  I learned from guy friends not to settle and I deserve the best.  Sigh...this sucks...maybe I am reading too much into it but sometimes I wish I could send him or Ellen or the show writers a letter and I could make a difference.  Maybe they would help raise money for a non profit serving the mentally ill.  But all it would do is make then feel sorry for me and what good would that do?  Josh would never be interested in me in the way I dreamt about. He would be too afraid of hurting me.  And in my dreams he did.  Big time.  Sometimes I think I was better off before the internet was invented.  

[anxiousE]

Not CO related but forum related...

Not sure if anyone else has heard this, but there has been talk that the forum might possibly expire. People are stepping up to help, so there's still hope, but this post is in case of worst case scenario. Anyone here have a backup plan for where we can still chat? I know I'm still relatively new, but I've become quite fond of this place and haven't found a community such as this one in this thread. So anyway, think about it. If anyone wants to catch up on another medium, send me a PM and we'll talk. Alright, hope all are doing well enough in this new year!

Peace and Love,

[anxiousE]

I don't want to double post, but I've been reading through this thread (should have done that all along) and realized a couple things. Folks here sharing lots of stuff that I can relate to and that I could've been a little more open with my posts (forgot that I actually did post in this thread and not CO 1, or whatever it was called). Anyway, so I'm going to share a few more things tonight.

The "non celebrity" celebrity obsession I've been mentioning was actually a combination of two or even three people (really only two were the problem though). So, the first one-was the one that used to talk to me like my perfect soulmate, I loved him, but then he blocked me. The second was a friend of his and a fellow poster on this group we were all a part of. He felt sorry for me and was my friend for awhile after the block, but eventually learned to not want to be in my life either. And just for record, the third was a YouTube celebrity but also friends with the other two (they were all friends before the YT stuff and didn't see him like a celebrity like I did so when I fangirled, they thought I was crazy). Anyway, he's fine. I don't have any romantic feelings for him and I have always followed him and never had a problem and even though he doesn't reply to a lot of comments he gets, he replied to one of mine and I was just so elated! Oh, did I mention I am also in a group he created? Anyway, this phase is basically out of my life now since what brought us all together, none of us share anymore... and the first one who blocked me, well I still follow his daily posts, I don't feel any sadness or ill will towards him (well, except when triggered to hurtful memories). It's the second one that was giving me recent trouble, seeing him with my enemy. Now I don't care if he's with a girlfriend, but just not her please! But I dunno. They've been seen together for a few months now, the latest was early December so I'm not sure what's happening now. I'm pretty much chill about this one now though. The worst has happened (she got to meet someone on the other side of the world and I didnt) so it can't get any worse.

Ok, this is already getting long, so I'll just add one more thing. One of my actual celebrity obsessions has me yearning for his attention. When I first followed him and retweeted his post with a comment, he liked it. I was stoked! But then I asked him a question and subsequently made a comment on another post and both have been ignored. I was preparing myself for that, but now, as I said, I'm yearning for attention. But when he posts, I often don't see it till hours later and he usually only replies to the first few comments, or ill be the first to see a post but I'll be at a loss for a clever comment or I just don't really like the post. So I've been silent pretty much with an occasional retweet and likes. I think folks here can relate to that. Am I right? I just wish he'd talk about the stuff that was interesting to me or what I interested me in him in the first place, but that is rare or he retweets something and I won't get his attention commenting on that! What else? Oh, just that I'm feeling this sort of sick feeling that because he's like 10years my senior that I really don't have anything in common with him, that we could never really be friends...like I used to feel with my cousins. 😕 Yeah, I tend to make friends with folks that are just a few years older (of course No One who's my age works out-and that first non celebrity CO was my age. Sigh) and friends with folks significantly younger than me (like 10 years). Oh, i do talk to a lot of folks 20 plus years older than me too, but im not sure theyd consider me friends...

Anyway, 

[BlueStarr]

@anxiousE,

Actually, if you're both adults, then a ten year age difference is nothing, lol! 😄 

I've noticed my CO only reacts to the comments he happens to see, which tend to be the first ones. So if you want your CO to react, you've got to jump in there and be one of the first. 😄 I don't think he's ignoring you. He just doesn't see any but the first few comments, or if he happens to see some comments when he logs in. I tend to NOT comment on my CO's page because I know that I will worry if he doesn't 'like' my comment.

Edited January 4, 2020 by BlueStarr

[BlueStarr]

@anxiousE,

It sounds like the girl poisoned the guys against you, (especially the guy she is involved with). They all talk to each other, so they are probably influenced by all the gossip. Who knows what they were saying about you? A lot of it may be just made up stuff, and nothing to do with what you actually did. That's the problem when people all know each other in a group. If one person becomes an 'enemy', chances are that the other members will also become hostile because of the gossip they hear. Whatever she told him, he believes her, and he takes her word over yours, (because she's his girlfriend).  It's too bad that this has to happen. Why can't people just be mature and love everybody and not take sides? Sigh.

Edited January 4, 2020 by BlueStarr

[anxiousE]

So today (this is with my other current major CO), well, it's not him (because remember he has no social media), but a fellow fan that got to me today. I created a post asking about one of his movies and it was rejected! I feel like such a loser and at the same time, I feel like she is mean. Know what I mean? I know folks sometimes just want specific post material on their pages, but how am I supposed to find out about my CO if I'm rejected?! I feel like a loser because I probably am being irrational here, but regardless, the feeling of rejection is genuine and human. :/

to top it off, I didn't see any posts from my other CO today that I could comment on or at least just view so morning is off to a complete bummer. Thinking I might go back to bed now. In fact, I didn't even sleep that well. I think it was after 3 when I finally slept and I...forgot what I was saying because I'm distracted by this cold flu I've seemed to develop too. Bleh!

[Myshka]

On 12/25/2019 at 5:52 AM, nikki114 said:

It's okay sometimes.  The other threads I've visited aren't as crazy...usually.  But the latest CO's thread has over 1000 pages and like 30,000 comments on it.  No kidding.  And most of it is dedicated to trashing his latest (very likely PR) piece.  1000 pages.  Freaking ridiculous.  Unfortunately, I think a lot of what they say about him is true.   I know that people have their flaws and stuff, but they've found a way to ruin him for him.  And now I can't enjoy him without thinking of his PR girlfriend or that thread.  Which is supposed to be a "thirst and appreciation" thread that has turned into a hate thread.  I hate those b-words.

I'm sorry LSA is bumming you out. I'm not a member there but I've read various threads over the years and usually end up laughing my ass off.

There's actually a decent amount of threads there about various things pertaining to my CO's life, past, and current actions. Most of the posters there roast the shit out of him, but I just laugh at it instead of getting upset. I love him and the inspiring person he is today that he became by owning up to and learning from his mistakes, but I'm not wearing any blinders. He's done some stuff that certainly deserves roasting. He even roasts the crap out of his younger self sometimes on social media. LSA is just a bit of fun to me!

[queenofspades120]

Hi, everyone.

I'e been lurking in this thread and I'm on the verge of developing yet another big celebrity crush again. This one is more about the fictional character the actor plays, not the actor himself. I am trying to do everything I can to avoid reading about him in real life. IMDB, Wikipedia, celebrity sites, Twitter. I clicked 'follow' for him on Twitter and then decided not to. I know nothing of his personal life yet, who his wife or girlfriend is- nothing. I want to just admire and fantasize about the character he plays in a movie, and a cute 'ship' that I read fanfiction of. For now, that's the only media I will consume about this guy. I adore him as the character and from what I've seen of him in the publicity videos of the cast, he is a real sweetie. ❤️ 

I have a recurring history of CO's. One was a TV actor from an 80's show. Like many of you, I went crazy for the younger version. Another is an old-time singer, dead since the 60's. I have a lot of obsessions about famous young people who died long ago, and he's only one of many. Hearing his songs is always bittersweet and sad. I still love both of these men, but the obsession's worn off.

Those former crushes felt better and more comfortable because there was no big social media about them (the long dead musician of course- because he was killed in the 60's!) Now, after watching this movie 2 times, I can't get enough of him but do NOT want to know who his wife or girlfriend is. I'm even a bit envious of his female co stars because each one either kissed or hugged him onscreen! 

Oh, and I'm also married, but the marriage has been in a dead bedroom for a few years. I love my husband but the passion is gone. 

Edited January 5, 2020 by queenofspades120

[HopelessRomantic2011]

6 hours ago, queenofspades120 said:

Hi, everyone.

I'e been lurking in this thread and I'm on the verge of developing yet another big celebrity crush again. This one is more about the fictional character the actor plays, not the actor himself. I am trying to do everything I can to avoid reading about him in real life. IMDB, Wikipedia, celebrity sites, Twitter. I clicked 'follow' for him on Twitter and then decided not to. I know nothing of his personal life yet, who his wife or girlfriend is- nothing. I want to just admire and fantasize about the character he plays in a movie, and a cute 'ship' that I read fanfiction of. For now, that's the only media I will consume about this guy. I adore him as the character and from what I've seen of him in the publicity videos of the cast, he is a real sweetie. ❤️ 

I have a recurring history of CO's. One was a TV actor from an 80's show. Like many of you, I went crazy for the younger version. Another is an old-time singer, dead since the 60's. I have a lot of obsessions about famous young people who died long ago, and he's only one of many. Hearing his songs is always bittersweet and sad. I still love both of these men, but the obsession's worn off.

Those former crushes felt better and more comfortable because there was no big social media about them (the long dead musician of course- because he was killed in the 60's!) Now, after watching this movie 2 times, I can't get enough of him but do NOT want to know who his wife or girlfriend is. I'm even a bit envious of his female co stars because each one either kissed or hugged him onscreen! 

Oh, and I'm also married, but the marriage has been in a dead bedroom for a few years. I love my husband but the passion is gone. 

Hi! I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to know about his personal life and just focusing on the character. I usually fall for musicians instead of actors, but there was an actor who I liked but then started to like much less after finding out some things about his personal life. And I agree that finding out about their significant others makes things less fun. I like to think that I’ve mostly  “accepted” my CO’s wife, but then she’ll post a picture or video of them together that makes me jealous again. lol So yes, just enjoy your fantasy! 😄

[anxiousE]

3 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Hi! I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to know about his personal life and just focusing on the character. I usually fall for musicians instead of actors, but there was an actor who I liked but then started to like much less after finding out some things about his personal life. And I agree that finding out about their significant others makes things less fun. I like to think that I’ve mostly  “accepted” my CO’s wife, but then she’ll post a picture or video of them together that makes me jealous again. lol So yes, just enjoy your fantasy! 😄

I was thinking I usually fall for musicians instead of actors too, but i think it's honestly about mixed. Since social media though, it started primarily with musicians. Now I'm onto actors... It's funny to think about the musicians though. Like, I think I liked them more for their personalities first (?? well, one of them anyway and he's pretty prominent on social media. the other has been pretty quiet since I started and I guess I was more into his musicianship)...but with actors, it's a bit easier for me to love them for their characters... I mean, my most current CO is so attractive on film, but in interviews he does a lot of that "uhh" and "um" stuff which can be annoying...i mean he's still cute though and I love his accent, but it gets to me...not that I'm a perfect speaker by any means (probably why I'm so critical, because others are so critical of me or I'm self critical). Anyway, just thought it was interesting that I find actors less personal(ly?) than musicians whereas you seem to be the opposite (??)...or was it just separate thoughts?

lol I originally came on here just to say my CO is so cute! haha Just watched another interview and I just adore him. :)

Edited January 6, 2020 by anxiousE

[HopelessRomantic2011]

5 hours ago, anxiousE said:

I was thinking I usually fall for musicians instead of actors too, but i think it's honestly about mixed. Since social media though, it started primarily with musicians. Now I'm onto actors... It's funny to think about the musicians though. Like, I think I liked them more for their personalities first (?? well, one of them anyway and he's pretty prominent on social media. the other has been pretty quiet since I started and I guess I was more into his musicianship)...but with actors, it's a bit easier for me to love them for their characters... I mean, my most current CO is so attractive on film, but in interviews he does a lot of that "uhh" and "um" stuff which can be annoying...i mean he's still cute though and I love his accent, but it gets to me...not that I'm a perfect speaker by any means (probably why I'm so critical, because others are so critical of me or I'm self critical). Anyway, just thought it was interesting that I find actors less personal(ly?) than musicians whereas you seem to be the opposite (??)...or was it just separate thoughts?

lol I originally came on here just to say my CO is so cute! haha Just watched another interview and I just adore him. 🙂

An actor just can't hold my attention for long. With musicians, I can listen to their music every day, watch tons of their stuff on YouTube, and go see them on tour. There's only so many times I can watch the same movie or TV show without getting bored. There were actually four actors who I took an interest in over the past two years, and after being obsessed for a few weeks or months, I got over it. My musician COs usually last for years though. My current musician CO has done some acting. I don't really think he's that good at it, but of course I'll still watch his show whenever it comes out. lol

 

[anxiousE]

3 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

An actor just can't hold my attention for long. With musicians, I can listen to their music every day, watch tons of their stuff on YouTube, and go see them on tour. There's only so many times I can watch the same movie or TV show without getting bored. There were actually four actors who I took an interest in over the past two years, and after being obsessed for a few weeks or months, I got over it. My musician COs usually last for years though. My current musician CO has done some acting. I don't really think he's that good at it, but of course I'll still watch his show whenever it comes out. lol

 

Hmm. I guess I know what you mean. Maybe since I am sort of playing catchup with my C O 's  filmographies/online videos that I'm spending more time. Plus the fansites and/or their social media stuff adds to it. It's funny because I knew these actors way back when, but social media wasn't the way it is today and I certainly wasn't so savvy, so I didn't really get obsessed until now. ^^

[HopelessRomantic2011]

1 hour ago, anxiousE said:

Hmm. I guess I know what you mean. Maybe since I am sort of playing catchup with my C O 's  filmographies/online videos that I'm spending more time. Plus the fansites and/or their social media stuff adds to it. It's funny because I knew these actors way back when, but social media wasn't the way it is today and I certainly wasn't so savvy, so I didn't really get obsessed until now. ^^

Yes, I think the prevalence of social media can definitely fuel these obsessions. You mentioned some "non-celebrity" COs and I've dealt with that too. There was a "model" who I only knew of via IG who I became a bit obsessed with for some reason. Maybe because he was a nice guy and he would attempt to be nice to his followers and chat with us. He also looks a little bit like my current CO (but not that much, maybe just a similar aesthetic). But now I cringe when I think of my thirsty behavior. I even sent this guy a gift for his birthday (ok, and there was one other random gift too for no reason. Yes, he thanked me for both). But I eventually lost interest and unfollowed him on IG. I wish I could say that I was a stupid teenager when it happened, but it was like two years ago. 😩

[BlueStarr]

1 hour ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

 But now I cringe when I think of my thirsty behavior. I even sent this guy a gift for his birthday (ok, and there was one other random gift too for no reason. Yes, he thanked me for both). But I eventually lost interest and unfollowed him on IG. I wish I could say that I was a stupid teenager when it happened, but it was like two years ago. 😩

What's wrong with sending a gift or two? I don't understand why this would be something to be ashamed about, unless a gift was somehow inappropriate.

[HopelessRomantic2011]

38 minutes ago, BlueStarr said:

What's wrong with sending a gift or two? I don't understand why this would be something to be ashamed about, unless a gift was somehow inappropriate.

For one thing, it's not like I'm a person who loves to give gifts in general, so it was out of character. I'm also not the kind of person who gives gifts to celebrities because I don't feel like they need (or particularly want) gifts from fans in most instances. As I said, this person is not a celebrity, but still. He was a random stranger on IG, so why give anything to him? I was basically just doing it to get more attention from him (which I did get a little). But it was still very cringeworthy and unnecessary. Eww.

 

 

 

[BlueStarr]

4 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

For one thing, it's not like I'm a person who loves to give gifts in general, so it was out of character. I'm also not the kind of person who gives gifts to celebrities because I don't feel like they need (or particularly want) gifts from fans in most instances. As I said, this person is not a celebrity, but still. He was a random stranger on IG, so why give anything to him? I was basically just doing it to get more attention from him (which I did get a little). But it was still very cringeworthy and unnecessary. Eww.

I still don't see the "eww" factor. He liked the gifts, so why is it a problem?