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Hey yall- hope everything is going great ❤

So last time I got on here I was having huge issues with this one guy who was my CO for years, right? (that guy was matt smith btw lol)

I ended up getting over that fairly well in all things considering and now he's just more of a fashion inspo at this point but I have another problem that has cropped up since then and i dont really know how to handle it tbh.

It's like my giant obsession for Matt Smith eventually formed into smaller and tinier obsessions with LOTS of celebrities. And even worse they are all dead. Like Cab Calloway and Rita Hayworth. Dear god in heaven I love cab calloway. Which is really odd because for y e a r s there I only liked one guy and now I'm obsessing over tons of people left and right and I'm convinced the ONLY reason why these obsessions aren't nearly as bad is because literally every single one of them died before I was even born. I always thought once I got over the one co this was never gonna happen again but I guess not??? Because literally not even a month after I decided that Matt is just kinda eh to me I began to cycle back but in a very very different way?? 

And even more strange is that this time around I don't have a problem with it. Like when I had the one co I had so many issues with him and myself and now I'm not even phased by the fact that most of my CO's did heroin. 

So I guess I'm just really confused rn. Like what happened? Why am I suddenly so in love with tons of people and am... really happy with it? I'm afraid that these obsessions are going to become bad like the last one and I really really dont want that to happen because atm I am very happy with them. But I'm also paranoid and I have no idea how this is going to turn out. When I found out about Marlene Dietrich's relationship with her daughter- I didn't talk for 3 days because of just how distraught I was with her. Like- idk I just really don't want these to go bad. Tbh I was HOPING this would never happen again but oops. Aight I'm done ranting now yall I'm so sorry I just dont understand my brain. Like why am I like this. 

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@Varga,

I think it's really wonderful that you have turned to some of the older celebrities. I love the classic, older movies and music as well, so I know who all those people are that you're talking about. Could it be the era you're into, as well as just the specific personalities? There's really nothing wrong with that, and I personally feel that the talent from those days is by far better than most of the so-called "talent" we see today.

When you found out those things about Marlene Dietrich, I think what you experienced was disillusionment because you admire her. Isn't it awful when someone you like has clay feet? it's happened to me a lot, so I understand how that feels.

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On 5/13/2019 at 3:25 PM, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

This thread has been so quiet. Did everyone get over their obsessions? I did not. lol But I've been doing fine. I was recently able to meet my main CO for the first time (but hopefully not the last), so I'm happy! I hope everyone else is doing ok too. 🙂

No, personally I haven’t been on in ages because my obsession got way way way worse. And I’m just trying to keep myself alive atm. Lol. Aside from that I finished my university degree, so I’ve been super busy with that too. But my obsession is well alive. Unfortunately, hah. 

I hope everyone is doing well. ♥️♥️♥️

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Hi, everyone!

I'm happy to report that, after discussing it with my therapist a while back, I no longer worry about whether or not my admiration of the teen actor that reminds me of my old boyfriend comes from a subconsciously inappropriate place.

In other news, I've developed my first full blown celebrity crush in a few years on a different actor. This one's nearly 37, however- five whole years older than me!

The good news is that I'm not overly invested in consuming tons of media about the man himself, although he seems really awesome. I've only seen a small handful of interviews and I know little more about him than basic facts you could find on a Wikipedia page. I don't keep up with his every move. Although I've never heard anything less than wonderful about him, I don't even know if I would go meet him at one of the conventions he does should the opportunity arise (I'm awkward as hell).

The bad news is that, when it comes to various characters he's played, I am down the rabbit hole big time.

He's very talented and he's got an extensive, highly versatile, genre spanning list of roles. I devour fan fiction about his characters. I'm far from alone in doing so, which is why there's never a shortage of material. I do it every single day, whether for a brief time or longer.

Even though I'm not hurting anyone and refuse to read fics about the actual man (or any real person), I'm still worried. I have a hard time being social as it is. The last thing I need is for this to get out of hand, even if it is fun for me and a better way to deal with the occasional marital dissatisfaction without having an affair.

I'm not sure if this belongs in this thread. Even though I'm a fan of the guy himself and he pops up in my head sometimes, it's fantasies of various characters of his that really take over my brainspace. Have any of you ever had something like this happen with a fictional character or characters?

 

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On 7/13/2019 at 1:37 PM, Myshka said:

Even though I'm a fan of the guy himself and he pops up in my head sometimes, it's fantasies of various characters of his that really take over my brainspace. Have any of you ever had something like this happen with a fictional character or characters?

@Myshka

Aside from my one major celebrity obsession, ALL of my other obsessions have been with fictional characters. I totally know where you're coming from. Whenever I watch a new show or movie, I'll usually get completely fixated on at least one character for weeks, months, or sometimes years, and I'll fantasize about them and even dream about them often. 

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Thank you. for sharing Myshka and Lady Amal.  I went through this phase where I wanted every guy to be like Gilbert Blythe in Anne of Green Gables and I still kinda want that I guess.  I guess that qualifies.  I had a close guy friend who I wanted to be just like him.  Unfortunately he was nothing like him.  Also, I really liked Mark Darcy in the Bridget Jones Diary Series.  I like the idea of a guy that initially teases or says negative things to a woman but then becomes the kindest, smartest guy ever.  I also had a hard time as a kid understanding why Jo and Laurie didn't end up together in Little Women.  I didn't like Laurie though...he was too weird but I always thought people should be friends before becoming lovers...I think it should not just all be about sex and no emotion no connection verbally.  I guess that's why I haven't found my guy yet.  I might never find him...I've given up looking.  I need to be in a better place before I can look for love again.  I can't believe I still haven't let go of Josh yet.  He did it again.  He did something I wanted him to do.  This time someone put a video on youtube of him singing 500 miles with Cristin.  I don't even look for this stuff and it comes up.  I gave up looking at any videos related to How I Met Your Mother.  I still google.  I hope since I didn't look at it and I just said I don't like this it won't come up again.  It's torture because I really want to look it.
I definitely didn't want Ted Mosby though.  He's the last thing I would want.  I finally realized the last time I was sick I wasn't Victoria I was Ted.  I am a hopeless romantic like he was.  Sigh sorry for ranting again you guys.  I really thought I was going to give this place up but I can't.  It's the only safe place to share these things. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by starbucksjunkee

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On 7/7/2019 at 2:49 AM, BlueStarr said:

@Varga,

When you found out those things about Marlene Dietrich, I think what you experienced was disillusionment because you admire her. Isn't it awful when someone you like has clay feet? it's happened to me a lot, so I understand how that feels.

That makes sense. Still makes me sad tho because goodness she was perfect 😭 well evidently not but ya know.

Also- thanks! I have low key always been in vintage kind of stuff but now it's just my whole life lol

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Well, it's happening again.  I'm becoming obsessed with some other celebrity.  I read the forum on one of his fan sites.  They make me feel guilty for having such an interest in his private life.  Not directly, I never opened an account on there.  I'm a curious person, I have to know everything about everything and everyone. 

 

Do other people-directly or indirectly--make you feel bad because of your obsession when you're not busy doing that to yourself?

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2 hours ago, nikki114 said:

Well, it's happening again.  I'm becoming obsessed with some other celebrity.  I read the forum on one of his fan sites.  They make me feel guilty for having such an interest in his private life.  Not directly, I never opened an account on there.  I'm a curious person, I have to know everything about everything and everyone. 

 

Do other people-directly or indirectly--make you feel bad because of your obsession when you're not busy doing that to yourself?

Not really, but I just assume that my family and coworkers think that I'm pathetic even though they don't say that to me. I wish that I was less open in talking about my obsessions. The problem is that this has been a part of my personality that I've been open about for basically my entire life, but now that I'm at the age where it's no longer "cute" to have these obsessions (and it probably stopped being cute more than 20 years ago), I wish that I was better at hiding them. And honestly, I don't even go into detail about it to the level that I do with you all or other fans of my COs, but I still feel like people know that I spend all of my free time being a fangirl because there's no evidence of me doing anything else productive. I never make Facebook posts of me hanging out with friends (what friends?). I'm single. I don't have kids. People who know me pretty much just know that I have a job, a house, a cat, and that I'm always fangirling over someone. Like, that's literally it. lol And it could very well be my own insecurities talking. I have a cousin my age who I was close to growing up and she still fangirls over her favorite band, has seen them multiple times in concert, and posts about them on Facebook, but I don't feel like people consider her pathetic because she's married and has a child which "proves" that she's still functioning as a "normal" adult unlike myself.

As far as you having an interest in his private life, some fans will get offended if you ask about someone's love life (which I think is a normal thing to be curious about), so you shouldn't feel guilty if it was an innocent question like that. If you're asking for his home address, that's another story.

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11 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Not really, but I just assume that my family and coworkers think that I'm pathetic even though they don't say that to me. I wish that I was less open in talking about my obsessions. The problem is that this has been a part of my personality that I've been open about for basically my entire life, but now that I'm at the age where it's no longer "cute" to have these obsessions (and it probably stopped being cute more than 20 years ago), I wish that I was better at hiding them. And honestly, I don't even go into detail about it to the level that I do with you all or other fans of my COs, but I still feel like people know that I spend all of my free time being a fangirl because there's no evidence of me doing anything else productive. I never make Facebook posts of me hanging out with friends (what friends?). I'm single. I don't have kids. People who know me pretty much just know that I have a job, a house, a cat, and that I'm always fangirling over someone. Like, that's literally it. lol And it could very well be my own insecurities talking. I have a cousin my age who I was close to growing up and she still fangirls over her favorite band, has seen them multiple times in concert, and posts about them on Facebook, but I don't feel like people consider her pathetic because she's married and has a child which "proves" that she's still functioning as a "normal" adult unlike myself.

As far as you having an interest in his private life, some fans will get offended if you ask about someone's love life (which I think is a normal thing to be curious about), so you shouldn't feel guilty if it was an innocent question like that. If you're asking for his home address, that's another story.

I rarely feel like a functioning adult and this celebrity worship thing is just one of the reasons why.  I'm autistic, probably OCD and ADHD as well.  My life is so much different than my peers' lives.  My family doesn't like me very much sometimes.  I annoy them a lot and vice versa.  It's too shameful to share this with people outside of these forums.  I can't even tell my therapist.  I mean, celebrity worship stuff not really the other stuff.  It's...I don't know.

 

He once said that you could easily Google his home address.  Not that I'll ever do that for many reasons.  Plus, he's in the South filming a movie.  He's pretty much a rolling stone and a loner.  And I have no desire to visit L.A.

Plus, I hate when they say, "It's none of our business.".  Whether they meant to or not, celebs always put their business out there.  And people are naturally going to be curious about public figures.

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15 hours ago, nikki114 said:

Well, it's happening again.  I'm becoming obsessed with some other celebrity.  I read the forum on one of his fan sites.  They make me feel guilty for having such an interest in his private life.  Not directly, I never opened an account on there.  I'm a curious person, I have to know everything about everything and everyone. 

 

Do other people-directly or indirectly--make you feel bad because of your obsession when you're not busy doing that to yourself?

I have definitely been shamed for various fandoms and celebrity crushes over the years. I just don't talk about them very much anymore except for online with people who share my interest or peopke who go through the same thing about their interests.

If I discuss them in person, I don't go very in depth these days. I refuse to let any judgmental ass make me feel stupid for liking anything anymore when I'm not hurting anyone. Fandom has been a better source of positivity in my life than the vast majority of people who have been in and out of it over the years, so they can go get stuffed.

I've been so blue all day because I dreamt that my celebrity crush passed away. He's only 37 and I was so heartbroken! Even though it was only a dream, it upset me so much. There are other things in my life getting me down but dreaming that he left the world was just the icing on the cake. I hope I shake these blues soon!

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DO you have thoughts about your imaginary boyfriends, friends, girlfriends whatever being with other people?  Of course, I mean your celebrity obsessions.  And the thoughts are just relentless, to the point that they **** up your everyday life?  You just think things that you don't want to think and it makes you physically uncomfortable and/or ill?  And you don't know why?  You have trouble just snapping out of it?  The harder you try to control, the more relentless the thoughts are?  How do you make them STOP?!

 

*Crazy lady.  News at 6:00....

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Nikki114, You're not alone...lots of us here at the forum have been through the same thing.  I told myself not to look at a video of the worst co I ever had singing with one of his former costars of the show that made him a household name.  I told myself and didn't look for three months but yesterday I looked at 40 seconds of it and then last night I had a dream about him.  It's like he's taking over my subconscious and I know it's bad for me and it's like the worst obsession I've ever had but I can't stop thinking about him.  I can go months without looking at him and googling him but some evil part of me thinks, "What if he got married?  Would I want to know?  What if he's dying of cancer?  Would I want to know?"  And the answer to both is unfortunately yes.

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18 hours ago, nikki114 said:

DO you have thoughts about your imaginary boyfriends, friends, girlfriends whatever being with other people?  Of course, I mean your celebrity obsessions.  And the thoughts are just relentless, to the point that they **** up your everyday life?  You just think things that you don't want to think and it makes you physically uncomfortable and/or ill?  And you don't know why?  You have trouble just snapping out of it?  The harder you try to control, the more relentless the thoughts are?  How do you make them STOP?!

 

*Crazy lady.  News at 6:00....

Do I have thoughts about my celebrity obsessions being with other people? Well, I know that they ARE with other people. I have fleeting moments of jealousy, but for the most part, I don't let the fact that they're with other people ruin my fun. I know that even if they weren't with those other people, they still wouldn't be with me. Sad, but true. I think I'm mostly just jealous when I first find out, but then I get over it. I've started to think that my main CO and his wife are kind of cute together and I hated her two years ago. lol

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I'm a jealous person, insanely jealous.   I wish I could shut it down, but I can't.  Celebrity or not, I don't even want to think about my obsession being with anyone else.  Or it'll make me crazy.  I suppress a lot of jealousy and possessiveness.  I guess I can thank my Mars in Libra.

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On 8/12/2019 at 2:22 PM, nikki114 said:

I'm a jealous person, insanely jealous.   I wish I could shut it down, but I can't.  Celebrity or not, I don't even want to think about my obsession being with anyone else.  Or it'll make me crazy.  I suppress a lot of jealousy and possessiveness.  I guess I can thank my Mars in Libra.

I'm not so bad these days, but in the past I have definitely been jealous of some of my celebrity crushes' girlfriends, although I have also always liked some of them.

I do still get sad thoughts sometimes (I.e. "Oh, of course she's a model," "I wish I had such an exciting life.") Others, I may think things that show the women in a more realistic light, such as, "She looks so much older than she really is," or "For a model, she's really nothing spectacular," but it's really more out of relief that people I adore and find exceptionally attractive can sometimes date someone whose appearance doesn't seem as unattainable as many celebrity girlfriends. It's never to insult the girlfriend because, let's face it, average looking by celebrity standards is still pretty hot by the standards of everyday folks. I never really feel the petty kind of jealousy I used to, though, even if I don't particularly care for a CO's partner.

The fact that I'm attracted to all genders can sometimes be to my advantage. Sometimes, I'll feel attraction to their partner too and really let my imagination run wild with possible scenarios! 😂

One of my current crush's former girlfriends is a lesser crush of mine herself, actually.

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I hear you, Myshka.   I can totally relate to what you are saying.  I gave into my obsession the other day.  I watched forty seconds of Josh singing with a former costar and initially I was so jealous and wanted to be her but then I realized they didn’t sound as good together as I imagined they would.  They actually sounded drunk.  Poor Josh has had really lousy luck in the romance department as far as I know....he’s never been married.   Must be something about him...I don’t know what.  I fell in love with his words in his music and on his mailing list and his kindness qualities and the fact that he and I have a lot of the same views socially and politically.   But my therapist brought me back to reality by telling me he might not be that way at all.  He could be boring and arrogant or have gross habits like picking his nose.   I just fell in love with who I think he is but celebrities only show the world what they want us to see...he could be a whole different person than I think he is.   Have a great week.

 

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Do you ever try to do something. whether it involves your celebrity obsession or not?  Then suddenly, an unpleasant thought about him or her comes up.  About their love life or damn YouTube comments about them, anything.  And it distracts you and ruins your mood.  Keeping you from enjoying your activity or doing your activity?

 

I don't know.  Am I making sense?

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Oh wow it’s been like a year since I last read everything and posted.  I see a new thread had to be created.  Not much has changed. I met my co again and he gave me a huge hug with out me having to ask. The bad news was his girlfriend was there.  Yeup the unavoidable happened.  She’s a model with a perfect body, beautiful and young (like almost half his age). Plus, she will be traveling with him soon.  In some ways it’s bothering me and other ways it’s not, I don’t know how I feel.  I mean it’s just a fantasy, even if I was single I’d never stand a chance. I just keep reminding myself of that. Part of me is telling me to forget about it all and walk away but I know I’ll miss my fantasy escape but now that a girlfriend is in the picture I feel like I’m no longer allowed to have that fantasy. 

Edited by Javaaddict

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22 hours ago, Javaaddict said:

Oh wow it’s been like a year since I last read everything and posted.  I see a new thread had to be created.  Not much has changed. I met my co again and he gave me a huge hug with out me having to ask. The bad news was his girlfriend was there.  Yeup the unavoidable happened.  She’s a model with a perfect body, beautiful and young (like almost half his age). Plus, she will be traveling with him soon.  In some ways it’s bothering me and other ways it’s not, I don’t know how I feel.  I mean it’s just a fantasy, even if I was single I’d never stand a chance. I just keep reminding myself of that. Part of me is telling me to forget about it all and walk away but I know I’ll miss my fantasy escape but now that a girlfriend is in the picture I feel like I’m no longer allowed to have that fantasy. 

I understand that the girlfriend might put a damper on things a bit, but you’re definitely still allowed to have the fantasy. It’s great that you met him again and got a hug! 😄

 

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I really wish I could be one of those people who are like, "I don't care about so-so's personal life.  Just the music or the movies or whatever".  But I'm not that kind of person.  I'm nosy, I want to know as much as I can about CO.  I wanna know as much as I can about people in general.  But I've learned things about 3 celebs this year that I've obsessed over and respected that I wish I didn't know.  Just now, I was on this "thirst and appreciation" thread about this celeb I like.  Apparently, there's something that's got the women over there very upset.  Someone apparently posted something on Tumblr about him and his 'girlfriend' or fwb.  Screenshot and posted it.   I tried reading the thing and blowing it up, but you need an account in order to read and access it.  I considered it, but common sense took over and I found a phone app that block websites as well as apps.  Thank the Goddess.  I copy, pasted and block.  I've already had an...interesting week.  No need to make it worse.  I don't know what it said, and I don't want to.  I just know it'll make me madder at him and **** up the rest of my month or...life.  The guy is typically very private, but his lover isn't.  She is desperate for people to know that they are in a relationship.  She's just a golddigger using him for his money and fame.  And she's going to drain him dry.  She's even opened an account on the website and talked about how 'beautiful and happy' they are together.  Honestly, knowing that he's either allowing this or oblivious to it just makes lose respect for him.  I'm starting to think that he's not who people think he is.  My spidey senses are on fire about this woman.

 

Three ****ing times!  Maybe I should just quit celebrities altogether?

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It’s been sooooooooooooo quiet in this thread. I hope everyone is doing ok! I’ve been pretty good. Three weeks ago, I had the pleasure of seeing my latest CO in concert. He’s only been my CO for about 5 months, so it’s all still new and exciting. 😄 He’s in a band that isn’t very famous, so it was a small and intimate show, and I also got to speak to him afterwards without handlers hovering around waiting to usher me away after a few seconds. lol I still didn’t speak to him for very long since there was a (small) group of fans behind me waiting to speak to him too. But it was still a cool experience and I’ve had some post-concert depression since the show. I was tempted to fly across the country to see them one more time on this tour because I really don’t know how long it’ll be before they do a show near me again. It kind of sucks to go back to living your boring life after you’ve experienced the high of a great concert that you had really been looking forward to. Now I don’t really have anything that I’m excited about at the moment. At least not until the next tour. I was lucky enough to see three of my favorite bands in concert over the past 6 months, so I really shouldn’t complain. It’s been a good year for me CO-wise.

Edited by HopelessRomantic2011

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Well, I have a new celebrity crush that I spend way too much time thinking about!

This time around, he's just under thirty years older than me. He was almost the age I am now when I was born! He's a year older than my dad! It's really nice to feel so young in comparison to a crush. 

It's kind of odd being into someone whose been in the public eye for so long. When I fantasize about him in an explicit sense, it's his younger self from before I was born through when I was a young kid. He still has some good features and he looks good considering his age and how many drugs he used to do, but his 20s and 30s are when I thought he was so extremely hot.

Now that he's in his 60s, I kinda wish he were my dad sometimes. I'm closer in age to most of his kids than I am him. My own dad wasn't much and he seems like a wonderful father to all his kids. He says himself that he loves being a dad and can't get enough of it. He posted about his grown daughter once and it made me wish so hard that I had a dad like him.

He seems like someone who wasn't the greatest to the countless women he's slept with (or even to his two ex wives once they split) but he seems like an absolute dream of a father. He seems wonderful to his current wife, though. I realize how messed up it is that I wish he were my dad sometimes and have graphic mature thoughts of him other times. I'm probably a psychologist's dream come true! 

 

Edited by Myshka

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3 hours ago, Myshka said:

Well, I have a new celebrity crush that I spend way too much time thinking about!

This time around, he's just under thirty years older than me. He was almost the age I am now when I was born! He's a year older than my dad! It's really nice to feel so young in comparison to a crush. 

It's kind of odd being into someone whose been in the public eye for so long. When I fantasize about him in an explicit sense, it's his younger self from before I was born through when I was a young kid. He still has some good features and he looks good considering his age and how many drugs he used to do, but his 20s and 30s are when I thought he was so extremely hot.

Now that he's in his 60s, I kinda wish he were my dad sometimes. I'm closer in age to most of his kids than I am him. My own dad wasn't much and he seems like a wonderful father to all his kids. He says himself that he loves being a dad and can't get enough of it. He posted about his grown daughter once and it made me wish so hard that I had a dad like him.

He seems like someone who wasn't the greatest to the countless women he's slept with (or even to his two ex wives once they split) but he seems like an absolute dream of a father. He seems wonderful to his current wife, though. I realize how messed up it is that I wish he were my dad sometimes and have graphic mature thoughts of him other times. I'm probably a psychologist's dream come true! 

 

Boy do I relate. Hi to everyone btw I joined this thread a year ago when I was deep in a CO and here I am again a year later with a new one and the funny thing is they both were big musicians in the 70s. That’s when they were my age so I fantasize about them from that time but I adore them as 60-70 year old men now but in a sweet, fuzzy way like I love seeing them with their families and my newest one I’m just so happy for and I adore him. Actually I’ll admit the one from last year has been deceased since 2017 but I discovered his music when he was young and fell for him anyway. Yeah I can’t even begin to work out the psychology on myself with this lol. My new celebrity crush of about two months is alive and well but I love going back in time on YouTube and watching his early performances when he was gorgeous and basically every video I can find of him, you know how it goes lol.

Do you ever find yourself in social circles with people your age and all of a sudden the name or face of your CO springs to your mind and you feel a jolt in your heart like you’re living a double life that’s exciting and you can’t wait to return to that fantasy world that no one knows about involving your CO? I try to live in the moment as best I can but it’s really a challenge as an INFJ to just be present and not drift off in my head. 

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