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I started feeling happy and hopeful for a few days because I felt like when I was praying something inside me said that if I let Josh go, God will open doors for me.  I still haven't found an editor for my book. I don't know what kind of volunteer work I will find to do this summer and I am getting really frustrated with one of my friends and my super nintendo classic mini broke.  It only lasted three months.  Now what can I do to suck up the time?  I guess I should read more but I'm not really excited about it.  I have come close to letting Josh go because I haven't looked at anything about him or HIMYM for a month now but I still think about him a lot. I hope God still will open doors because I feel stuck where I am.  I love the kids I am helping and once this school year is over I'll be done with them and I'm so bummed about it.

 

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On 4/18/2018 at 11:50 AM, Scribbler17 said:

This is really difficult and kind of embarrassing, but I figured I would see if there's anyone who has any input, and perhaps my story can help the above posters if it resonates? I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through, because I've been there, I have.

Two years ago my major depressive symptoms started in graduate school. It was everything you're all probably familiar with: weight loss, insomnia, anhedonia, bouts of suicidal ideation. As a coping mechanism, I became very invested in a TV series, specifically in a romantic relationship between two of the characters. I started to even write fanfiction stories and publish them and it was and still is a very enjoyable and a creative release for me, not to mention it was a source of productivity during a time when getting out of bed was difficult. This isn't unusual for me because I've had fangirlish tendencies before, however it was always at a normal level that could be balanced with my other responsibilities and my relationships. 

Anyways, because I was incredibly depressed, this investment became the only happy sphere I had. That's not an exaggeration: the only time I ever felt excited was when I was either watching or writing. I started to follow the cast of this show closely on social media as well, which was also new for me to do. That caused me to develop a very unhealthy attachment to the actors that play the characters I love, particularly the main lead.

What started as a celebrity crush has escalated into something beyond my control. During this time, he started a new relationship with someone and I just can't help feeling upset about this. Yes, it sounds like a classic projection and jealousy problem, but he was in a relationship before and I had no problem with his partner then. I still love and follow his ex and she seems like a hardworking, talented, and socially aware person. Meanwhile his current partner mocks his fans and his work and has posted some ignorant and racist things, so that could be part of the reason why it bothers me so much that he's with her.

Then again, if I'm admitting this to myself, I think the real reason is that I can't separate him from his character who I guess I fell in love with during an incredibly painful time and depended on as an escape. But the even deeper reason is that his current partner isn't even in the industry, she's just a regular old person who works as a healthcare professional, and since that is what I aspired to be before I fell apart, it's like this stings even more. I compare myself to this woman I've never met, as if I could have that. And it hurts because everything she has, a healthy family, an incredible career, a relationship, etc is all stuff I don't have, and she's not even a celebrity so I see what she has as achievable and as something I should have achieved, and I think that's the true culprit behind my discomfort with all of this, is that I'm not happy with myself or my family or my situation. 

My depression initially emerged because I started to tie my worth to whether or not I could achieve my goal of becoming a healthcare professional, and I was self-sabotaging and avoiding actually applying and taking the proper steps I needed to do and working to the best of my abilities. I come from a large immediate family with a lot of siblings that's pretty dysfunctional and abusive and I'm sure there's a genetic component to all of this because my brother also has a mental health problem and both my parents show signs of depression and anxiety, especially in light of war in their home country.

I did manage to finish graduate school on a strong note (for a separate but related degree), even though that's when my depression was at its worst. I still don't really know how I graduated, but I did. When I moved back home, I started seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication and working part-time for my dad just to give me something to do where the pressure and anxiety of a "real" job were off my shoulders. I did this while trying to muster the courage to begin preparation for the admissions test I need to take.  

Some things improved during this time, sure. I do think the SSRIs helped in certain areas, while in others not so much, but like what I can't stand is that ultimately I still am so bothered by this infatuation and still cannot let it go. I figured after medication, things would be better, but that's not the case. When I found out this person was getting engaged, I legit vomited. Yes, I know that's insane and crazy, but I obviously couldn't help that. And the easy and logical thing to do would be to put distance between myself and him, but I am still very much dependent on this for a shroud of happiness, even after medication. I can't help it: the household is just too turbulent, and I'm stuck here for now, and unfortunately the identity of the scapegoat/punching bag always seem to find me in all my relationships, with my parents, with my siblings, with my best friends, so I still retreat into my world of fiction and writing and that is always going to be tied to this actor. He's getting married soon and I don't even know if I'm going to be able to handle that.

I am too humiliated by this that I can't even bring it up to my psychiatrist. I don't know, she thinks too highly of me and sees too much potential in me that I shudder to think of her learning I let something so shallow and silly and mortifying be eating me up on the inside. Plus I know her solution will be to just keep my head down and throw myself into my preparation for this admissions exam, which I have been doing, but it's just all so messy and inconsistent and my destructive mindset is starting to take over again. 

I don't know. I guess I'm curious to know what anyone has to offer. Dating isn't really an option because I have a really small comfort zone and I just can't imagine being in a relationship right now when I need to get my own act together first. 

Can I talk to you? 😣

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This thread has been so quiet. Did everyone get over their obsessions? I did not. lol But I've been doing fine. I was recently able to meet my main CO for the first time (but hopefully not the last), so I'm happy! I hope everyone else is doing ok too. 🙂

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Not over it...😥 But nothing new to tell. Well nothing new I am ready to share personally. Actually there is some news but I can not share it. I am scared it will expose me...lets just say I got a personal gift from my CO 2 weeks ago..! 

How was it to meet him? I met mine 3 years ago. ❤️

 

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10 minutes ago, BBNo1 said:

Not over it...😥 But nothing new to tell. Well nothing new I am ready to share personally. Actually there is some news but I can not share it. I am scared it will expose me...lets just say I got a personal gift from my CO 2 weeks ago..! 

How was it to meet him? I met mine 3 years ago. ❤️

 

A personal gift from your CO? That's awesome! I can understand not wanting to say too much about it though.

Meeting my CO was pretty much a blur like I expected it to be. That's why I'll need to do it multiple times! lol There were probably less than 20 people ahead of me in the meet and greet line, so I got up to him pretty fast. I hadn't really planned out much to say. I was just like, "Hi CO! It's so nice to meet you!" And I think he said, "Hi, how are you?" and then he said something about my phone case matching his shoes. lol So after we took the picture, I do think I was coherent enough to look at him and say thank you instead of just walking away. But what was really nice is that I also had front row for the concert, so even though the meet and greet was short, I was still able to just stare at him for a few hours up close so that was great! Our picture together turned out nice too, so I was not disappointed.

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I thought I was over Josh because I didn’t google him or How I Met Your Mother for two months.  But the other day I go a free 20 minute session with a personal trainer and I told him about Josh without saying his name.  Told him it was easier to have feelings for someone when nothing is going to happen.  A few days later I looked for him again.  Both he and Cristin Milioti are single now.   I think it would be amazing if they got together and made a cd.  They both sing really well.  I wish the trainer would have asked me out.  I haven’t been on a date in forever.  I used to think it was because I have gained so much weight since we moved to CA.  But that is the superficial part of me thinking.  I used to be so jealous when I read of people meeting their COs but since thinking of Josh made me psychotic I never want to meet him now.  I am working on my book and have three possible editors but one said I need to add some scenes to my book.  So I have a long way to go on that.  I am just going to publish it on demand so the chances of him ever reading it are really small.  I remember watching Liberal Arts thinking Josh saved my life because of what happened to the boy in that movie.  I wish that I could forget him and the show.  Take care guys.

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Hi everyone, I’m new here but came across the forum looking for information regarding this specific topic, and figured I should join. It is comforting for me to know that there are others like me, from all sorts of backgrounds. This I s definitely an embarrassing thing for me and I really don’t share with anyone I know irl. While it’s always been on/off with me I’ve had this type of obsession with different male celebrities since I was in my teens. Right now I’m onto an actor who I never would have given a second thought about a month ago. My prior actor was exactly the same. It seems like I’ll read something about a actor, musician or something, and that’s all it takes to get me hooked and suddenly I’ll want to know everything about them and daydream about meeting them, etc.

I’m lucky that my CO is not on social media, but it’s so difficult when you can access so much information about them at any given time thanks to Instagram, Twitter, and so on. When I get in these funks, I can easily spend hours upon hours (half a day easily!) looking up anything and everything I can about the CO. One of my hobbies sort of dangles in the entertainment field, so I also spend a lot of time imagining this hobby takes off and like it’s just bound to be the catalyst to meeting him. Ridiculous, right? 😔It’s also a hobby I’ve neglected for a while for varying reasons and while you’d think it would motivate me to at least devote time to the hobby - I spend most of the time just fantasizing and nothing gets accomplished otherwise. It’s really depressing.

Anyway, that’s in brief my story. I look forward to getting to know more of you and learning ways to cope with this. 

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Hello and welcome! 

Feel free to share anything you want, the girls (are there also boys...?? 🤔)on here will not judge you! 

I was just daydreaming aswell, I am caught in my thoughts every day. I love it and I hate it at the same time! 

 

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3 hours ago, SJen said:

Hi everyone, I’m new here but came across the forum looking for information regarding this specific topic, and figured I should join. It is comforting for me to know that there are others like me, from all sorts of backgrounds. This I s definitely an embarrassing thing for me and I really don’t share with anyone I know irl. While it’s always been on/off with me I’ve had this type of obsession with different male celebrities since I was in my teens. Right now I’m onto an actor who I never would have given a second thought about a month ago. My prior actor was exactly the same. It seems like I’ll read something about a actor, musician or something, and that’s all it takes to get me hooked and suddenly I’ll want to know everything about them and daydream about meeting them, etc.

I’m lucky that my CO is not on social media, but it’s so difficult when you can access so much information about them at any given time thanks to Instagram, Twitter, and so on. When I get in these funks, I can easily spend hours upon hours (half a day easily!) looking up anything and everything I can about the CO. One of my hobbies sort of dangles in the entertainment field, so I also spend a lot of time imagining this hobby takes off and like it’s just bound to be the catalyst to meeting him. Ridiculous, right? 😔It’s also a hobby I’ve neglected for a while for varying reasons and while you’d think it would motivate me to at least devote time to the hobby - I spend most of the time just fantasizing and nothing gets accomplished otherwise. It’s really depressing.

Anyway, that’s in brief my story. I look forward to getting to know more of you and learning ways to cope with this. 

Hello there and welcome! 🙂 I can definitely relate to what you wrote about your obsessions happening suddenly and spending hours looking them up. That’s basically the story of my life. My latest obsession started last month and came on suddenly, and I’ve been in an obsessive haze ever since. lol It’s fun for me, but also makes me feel like an immature and slightly pathetic person. I’d feel like an immature and slightly pathetic person even without the celebrity obsessions though, so it doesn’t really matter. I don’t think I’ll ever really stop having obsessions and I am not actively trying to stop having them. I only wonder who the next one will be since my interest usually starts to wane after about three months.

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Thank you both @BBNo1 and @HopelessRomantic2011!! I was so happy to see some responses 🤗.

It can be fun at times but also very time consuming and I worry I’m wasting too much of my life doing this. If I could somehow channel it or use it to effect change in my life (my co has several personal qualities that I’d love to possess/improve on), then I wouldn’t mind so much.  

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Hi everyone I’m new here and I came across this forum while searching for this topic. After reading some of you guys posts I feel compelled to share mines.

Since I was 11 I have been obsessed with a rapper. It started off healthy and now I find myself at the age of 29 never having had and actual bf, struggling with my weight and career. I find myself checking social media on a daily basis to keep up with what he’s doing. I argue with people online who speak negativity of him and when something goes wrong in his life I find myself becoming emotionally effected by his ups and downs. Since I was a kid I would fantasize and make up scenarios about him and a lot of times these are sexual scenarios. Recently he was accused of committing terrible acts against women and I can not tell you how it has emotionally destroyed me and my views of him and sadly this has not deterred my obsession but it has made me an emotional wreck and I get anxiety every time I come across an article or comment about the situation. It has made me very sad and I just want this person out of my system and out of my mind.

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First of all, welcome sweetrubyroo! 

Glad you found us, your secrets are safe here. I wish I could give you any advice but I do not have any solution for this. I am married with 1 child and still suffer the way you do. Do you really want to get him out of your mind completely or do you want to lose your obsessive behavior? 

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5 hours ago, BBNo1 said:

First of all, welcome sweetrubyroo! 

Glad you found us, your secrets are safe here. I wish I could give you any advice but I do not have any solution for this. I am married with 1 child and still suffer the way you do. Do you really want to get him out of your mind completely or do you want to lose your obsessive behavior? 

 

I guess I want both I just feel like he is the root of it all. 

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, BBNo1 said:

First of all, welcome sweetrubyroo! 

Glad you found us, your secrets are safe here. I wish I could give you any advice but I do not have any solution for this. I am married with 1 child and still suffer the way you do. Do you really want to get him out of your mind completely or do you want to lose your obsessive behavior? 

Thank you for welcoming me. I’m really glad I found this place I already feel like I’m not alone.

Edited by Sweetrubyroo

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10 hours ago, Sweetrubyroo said:

Hi everyone I’m new here and I came across this forum while searching for this topic. After reading some of you guys posts I feel compelled to share mines.

Since I was 11 I have been obsessed with a rapper. It started off healthy and now I find myself at the age of 29 never having had and actual bf, struggling with my weight and career. I find myself checking social media on a daily basis to keep up with what he’s doing. I argue with people online who speak negativity of him and when something goes wrong in his life I find myself becoming emotionally effected by his ups and downs. Since I was a kid I would fantasize and make up scenarios about him and a lot of times these are sexual scenarios. Recently he was accused of committing terrible acts against women and I can not tell you how it has emotionally destroyed me and my views of him and sadly this has not deterred my obsession but it has made me an emotional wreck and I get anxiety every time I come across an article or comment about the situation. It has made me very sad and I just want this person out of my system and out of my mind.

Hi there! I definitely think that feeling unfulfilled in certain areas of your life (for example, romantic relationships) can lead to these celebrity obsessions. I’m not saying that that’s the case for everyone, but I can certainly relate to you saying that you’ve never had a boyfriend before. Even though I’ve dated people, I’ve never gotten what I wanted out of a romantic relationship and they’ve never been like I imagine that they should be in my mind. So my obsessions are definitely something that I use to cope and distract me from thinking about what I’m missing in my life.

So it sounds like you’ve been obsessed with the same person for 18 years and never any other celebrities? I actually don’t really have any advice that I’ve followed myself  for how to get over a celebrity obsession. I’ve gotten over some of mine, but it was never because I was actively trying to get over them. It just happened naturally and I lost interest (in my case, I just move on to another person). But since you do feel like this is having a negative impact on your life and you want it to stop, then I think you definitely have to limit your social media time. If he is a person who is always involved in drama and you feel like you have to defend him, then that’s going to keep stressing you out.  And I think that you have to realize that the person who you fantasize about is not really HIM so that it won’t disappoint you so much when you hear things about him that make it clear that he’s not really the person who you’ve made him out to be in your mind.

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Thank 

3 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Hi there! I definitely think that feeling unfulfilled in certain areas of your life (for example, romantic relationships) can lead to these celebrity obsessions. I’m not saying that that’s the case for everyone, but I can certainly relate to you saying that you’ve never had a boyfriend before. Even though I’ve dated people, I’ve never gotten what I wanted out of a romantic relationship and they’ve never been like I imagine that they should be in my mind. So my obsessions are definitely something that I use to cope and distract me from thinking about what I’m missing in my life.

So it sounds like you’ve been obsessed with the same person for 18 years and never any other celebrities? I actually don’t really have any advice that I’ve followed myself  for how to get over a celebrity obsession. I’ve gotten over some of mine, but it was never because I was actively trying to get over them. It just happened naturally and I lost interest (in my case, I just move on to another person). But since you do feel like this is having a negative impact on your life and you want it to stop, then I think you definitely have to limit your social media time. If he is a person who is always involved in drama and you feel like you have to defend him, then that’s going to keep stressing you out.  And I think that you have to realize that the person who you fantasize about is not really HIM so that it won’t disappoint you so much when you hear things about him that make it clear that he’s not really the person who you’ve made him out to be in your mind.

Thank you for your response.  I actually have obsessed over other celebs but they were short lived obsessions that I grew out of and none of them lasted as long as this. I keep waiting for it to end but my infatuation with this person just won’t go away. And I agree with what you’re saying about limiting my social media time I definitely think that will help it’s just one of those things that is easier said than done but I’m definitely working on limiting it to maybe 1:00 a day or more if possible.

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4 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

 And I think that you have to realize that the person who you fantasize about is not really HIM so that it won’t disappoint you so much when you hear things about him that make it clear that he’s not really the person who you’ve made him out to be in your mind.

I agree I guess I’ve just been hanging on to this person I made up in my head when I was 11 and haven’t let go even though he continues to show otherwise.

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Posted (edited)
On 6/23/2019 at 1:15 AM, Sweetrubyroo said:

Recently he was accused of committing terrible acts against women and I can not tell you how it has emotionally destroyed me and my views of him and sadly this has not deterred my obsession but it has made me an emotional wreck and I get anxiety every time I come across an article or comment about the situation. It has made me very sad and I just want this person out of my system and out of my mind.

I agree with the posters who say that the real life person is not the same person you fantasize about. The fantasy in your mind is an idealized, parallel world version of him who is a good man. He's the person you're in love with. You're not bad for loving this "highest" version of him. It's important to separate them and distinguish the man you love from the real life person in this world. The only way to overcome this is to realize that the person you love doesn't exist, at least not in this world.

You said you had other COs that didn't last as long. This proves that you can be attracted to other people. Why not focus on cultivating other attractions? Also, have you considered real life dating? (Just don't date a rapper, lol! 😄 )

Edited by BlueStarr

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I have missed you guys so much.  You remind me of my early years when I was in support groups.  I wish I could think of pearls of wisdom to share with you.  I just want you to feel like you're not alone in this, Sweet.  Everyone on this site has had different experiences with being obsessed with celebrities.  No one hear is judging you.  I liked a guy (not famous...just a guy friend) not continuously but off and on from the time I was 12 until I was 29 years old.  I am writing a book about what happened to me in college and how I discovered my mental health issues.  The guy is actually a character in my book but I have to downplay the feelings a lot...and it's really hard.  I really thought I was in love with him until after college when I realized I was obsessed.  But to this day, he is always the hero when I am sick.  I pretend he and I are getting married and I wear the diamond ring I inherited from my grandmother and say he gave it to me.  The only reason I finally got over him at 29 was that he said, We are friends...that's all we are.  I know he didn't want to hurt me but it hurt for a few months until I dated two really crappy guys after he rejected me.  I have had one boyfriend that lasted a year but I was only 15 at the time so I'm not sure it counts.  At 24 I fell in love with a guy after only dating him 3 months but once I told him I wasn't sure I wanted kids it was over...he just disappeared out of my life almost completely.  He never told me that was why because at the time he was having health issues and I didn't find out until I was 34 when his best friend asked me to be in his wedding as the maid of honor.  I couldn't say no but I said please don't make me walk with him...you do have other groomsmen, right?  And he said no problem.  But when I saw my ex and his wife who was pregnant I finally got my answer.  I don't think he even spoke one word to me that weekend.  I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but what was his excuse? 

I am over it but I just want to say sometimes these feelings never completely go away.  You just can't let them ruin your life (like I almost did!) He was only guy I ever dated that I thought could be the one.  But he was a lot older than me and our views about politics and religion were really different and I am not sure we would have lasted.  Not long after we broke up I decided I want to adopt kids if I have any...I don't want to carry them because of all medication I'd have to give up.  I can't imagine being pregnant and manic or psychotic...that would be not be good for the baby!  I am sharing this stuff on here but I sometimes write too much.  Anyone on here is welcome to send me a private message if you need someone to talk to and you're welcome to read any of my old posts on here about my CO.  I still haven't given up googling him once in a while and I read this one article the other day and it was like it sucks that this guy seems so perfect on paper but might not be like what i think at all.  He could be a real jerk.  He could be arrogant and think he's God's gift to women or he could pick his nose or be boring.  So try to think about those things Sweet.  There's so much that you don't know...celebrities project the best versions of themselves on social media and in interviews.  We don't see them on bad days except in tabloids which probably aren't true.

I always say I'd rather be single my whole life than end up with an emotionally or physically abuser or some guy who thinks he's the greatest and always right about everything.  But it's very hard because I'm a romantic (on the enneagram personality test).  I love so many love songs and I even play some on the piano.

 


 

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I realized something this week.  And that is this:  A celebrity's personal life is important, somewhat at least.  You wanna know if they're a good person, right?  Or if they're secret assholes.  I've learned some things about a celebrity I admired.  He isn't exactly the good guy he so constantly portrays himself to be.  Learning these things were very upsetting, but I'm glad I learned them.

 

 

SO maybe there are certain perks to this disorder we have.  Maybe.

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3 hours ago, nikki114 said:

I realized something this week.  And that is this:  A celebrity's personal life is important, somewhat at least.  You wanna know if they're a good person, right?  Or if they're secret assholes.  I've learned some things about a celebrity I admired.  He isn't exactly the good guy he so constantly portrays himself to be.  Learning these things were very upsetting, but I'm glad I learned them.

 

 

SO maybe there are certain perks to this disorder we have.  Maybe.

I don’t know if I’d consider that a “perk”, but I agree that learning negative things about a celebrity can be disappointing. I feel like I’ve been lucky that most of my favorite celebrities have really good public images. Some of them kind of seem too perfect and of course I know no one is perfect, but I appreciate that they at least try to put out a positive public image for their fans. Of course there’s also the fact that the people who I like the most aren’t super famous, so it’s not like the paparazzi/media are following them around all the time looking for dirt on them.

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Hey everyone! I’m new to this forum. I was so happy to find this support group for celebrity obsession because I feel so alone in my struggle. I feel like I can’t tell my family or friends about what I’m going through.

I am 21, and I have been utterly obsessed with a celebrity for ten years. I am almost constantly thinking of him, and I struggle with maladaptive daydreaming, which means I spend hours a day fantasizing about him. I prefer to be at home by myself watching his videos or looking at pictures of him rather than hang out with my real friends, and I’ve never been in a real romantic relationship. I have hundreds of pictures of him in my room and close to 25,000+ between my phone and my computer. I am compelled to learn all of his personal habits, and I’ve spent so much time and money filling my bookshelves with books about him, becoming an expert on every aspect of his life. But it’s still not enough. I’m always looking for more. I’m addicted for sure.

Recently, my obsession started to impact my health and academics. I started seeing a therapist last month. It is so difficult and embarrassing to describe my celebrity obsession to another person. Sometimes I can’t even put what I’m feeling into words. I know my obsession is the result of the fact that I’ve suffered from loneliness most of my life. It is incredibly difficult for me to create meaningful relationships that last more than a few years. My celebrity has saved me from the agony of being alone, but I’m beginning to understand that my obsession has caused me to run from my problems and be absent in my own life. 

I want to live a more fulfilling life, but at the same time, I’m terrified that nothing will be able to take his place, that no one could ever make me feel like he does – he makes me feel alive. I am so afraid that I’ll never love someone like that again. I’m only a month into therapy, and I already feel like I’m going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me, the person who has helped me survive my worst years. And let’s be honest, a part of me doesn’t want to overcome my obsession. I feel such a deep connection to this person, and I love him. Maybe it’s crazy to say that, but that’s how it feels. I don’t know how I could live without him, and I don’t want to.

If any of you can relate, I’d love to hear from you. You’re not alone!

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On 6/23/2019 at 4:15 AM, Sweetrubyroo said:

I find myself becoming emotionally effected by his ups and downs. Since I was a kid I would fantasize and make up scenarios about him and a lot of times these are sexual scenarios. Recently he was accused of committing terrible acts against women and I can not tell you how it has emotionally destroyed me and my views of him and sadly this has not deterred my obsession but it has made me an emotional wreck and I get anxiety every time I come across an article or comment about the situation.

Hi @Sweetrubyroo

I relate to this so much. My celebrity has been accused of crimes as well, and recently it emotionally destroyed me so much that I was losing sleep, losing my appetite, and crying every day. I couldn't focus on school or other responsibilities because I couldn't stop stressing about the situation. I get insane anxiety when I come across articles about my celebrity too, and I know exactly what you mean when you say you're affected by his ups and downs. I know what you're going through, and I know how hard it is. If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to message me.

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7 hours ago, LadyAmalthea said:

Hey everyone! I’m new to this forum. I was so happy to find this support group for celebrity obsession because I feel so alone in my struggle. I feel like I can’t tell my family or friends about what I’m going through.

I am 21, and I have been utterly obsessed with a celebrity for ten years. I am almost constantly thinking of him, and I struggle with maladaptive daydreaming, which means I spend hours a day fantasizing about him. I prefer to be at home by myself watching his videos or looking at pictures of him rather than hang out with my real friends, and I’ve never been in a real romantic relationship. I have hundreds of pictures of him in my room and close to 25,000+ between my phone and my computer. I am compelled to learn all of his personal habits, and I’ve spent so much time and money filling my bookshelves with books about him, becoming an expert on every aspect of his life. But it’s still not enough. I’m always looking for more. I’m addicted for sure.

Recently, my obsession started to impact my health and academics. I started seeing a therapist last month. It is so difficult and embarrassing to describe my celebrity obsession to another person. Sometimes I can’t even put what I’m feeling into words. I know my obsession is the result of the fact that I’ve suffered from loneliness most of my life. It is incredibly difficult for me to create meaningful relationships that last more than a few years. My celebrity has saved me from the agony of being alone, but I’m beginning to understand that my obsession has caused me to run from my problems and be absent in my own life. 

I want to live a more fulfilling life, but at the same time, I’m terrified that nothing will be able to take his place, that no one could ever make me feel like he does – he makes me feel alive. I am so afraid that I’ll never love someone like that again. I’m only a month into therapy, and I already feel like I’m going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me, the person who has helped me survive my worst years. And let’s be honest, a part of me doesn’t want to overcome my obsession. I feel such a deep connection to this person, and I love him. Maybe it’s crazy to say that, but that’s how it feels. I don’t know how I could live without him, and I don’t want to.

If any of you can relate, I’d love to hear from you. You’re not alone!

Hi there and welcome! I can definitely relate to the hours spent daydreaming and what you said about feeling lonely and not being able to form meaningful relationships because I have the same issue. I think it’s good that you’re seeing a therapist. I saw one a few years ago and while it was nice to talk to someone, it didn’t result in me changing my behavior. But in my case, I wasn’t going specifically  to help me get rid of my obsession although I did mention it to her. Although I would ideally like to have better relationships in real life, I don’t really want to stop obsessing over my favorite celebrities in order to do it. I know that I haven’t excelled socially in life, but I don’t blame my interest in celebrities for that. It’s just a coping mechanism and security blanket and I think it’s less harmful (for me) to indulge in my celebrity obsessions rather than something that could potentially be more dangerous. So I accept that I’ve done this all my life and will continue to do it, but if it’s causing you distress, I think you’re doing the right thing in trying to get help. Don’t be embarrassed to talk to your therapist about it or even other people you trust because you definitely aren’t the only one who’s going through this.

 

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On 7/5/2019 at 3:44 AM, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Hi there and welcome! I can definitely relate to the hours spent daydreaming and what you said about feeling lonely and not being able to form meaningful relationships because I have the same issue. I think it’s good that you’re seeing a therapist. I saw one a few years ago and while it was nice to talk to someone, it didn’t result in me changing my behavior. But in my case, I wasn’t going specifically  to help me get rid of my obsession although I did mention it to her. Although I would ideally like to have better relationships in real life, I don’t really want to stop obsessing over my favorite celebrities in order to do it. I know that I haven’t excelled socially in life, but I don’t blame my interest in celebrities for that. It’s just a coping mechanism and security blanket and I think it’s less harmful (for me) to indulge in my celebrity obsessions rather than something that could potentially be more dangerous. So I accept that I’ve done this all my life and will continue to do it, but if it’s causing you distress, I think you’re doing the right thing in trying to get help. Don’t be embarrassed to talk to your therapist about it or even other people you trust because you definitely aren’t the only one who’s going through this.

Hey @HopelessRomantic2011

Thank you so much for your reply! It meant so much to me. While I want therapy to help me, I can't see how I'll ever quit this obsession, especially since I enjoy it so much. I see my CO as a coping mechanism too, and you're right, it is less physically harmful than, say, drug addiction or alcoholism. Maybe someday I will accept my obsession as my security blanket, but right now I'll try my best to break the cycle. Thank you for your encouragement. It's a huge relief to know I'm not alone.

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