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@Myshka ,

Well, what you say now in your most recent reply sounds completely reasonable to me, but some of the things you said in your earlier posts seem to indicate that there is more going on. Also, I feel like you're you're contradicting what you said before. Earlier you said you are on social media and part of fan groups, etc. and mentioned "fangirling" over him, which you said felt weird to you. I don't know what you meant by "fangirl" but the whole thing seems unhealthy to me, and I am going by what you said yourself. I'm not "reading between the lines" of anything you said. It's possible I misunderstood your meaning.

 

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31 minutes ago, BlueStarr said:

@Myshka ,

Well, what you say now in your most recent reply sounds completely reasonable to me, but some of the things you said in your earlier posts seem to indicate that there is more going on. Also, I feel like you're you're contradicting what you said before. Earlier you said you are on social media and part of fan groups, etc. and mentioned "fangirling" over him, which you said felt weird to you. I don't know what you meant by "fangirl" but the whole thing seems unhealthy to me, and I am going by what you said yourself. I'm not "reading between the lines" of anything you said. It's possible I misunderstood your meaning.

 

@BlueStarr I'm on Tumblr. I follow blogs related to various things I enjoy, some of which are about professional projects of his, but I do not follow any blogs about this person himself. He does not use Tumblr to my knowledge.

I don't follow him on Instagram or Twitter. I don't think it would be wrong if I did but I have just chosen not to. If he didn't remind me of my past, I'm sure I wouldn't feel the way I do regarding that. 

"Fangirling" to me simply means being an enthusiastic supporter. I call guys fangirls too. 

My husband has called me an emotional hypochondriac, meaning that I'll read something, see the slightest sliver of potential for it to relate to my own life, and then I'll just take it and run with it.

For example, I read about a bullied boy in elementary school taking his own life. I spent weeks crying and fretting to my husband about the prospect of our son having no friends, being treated cruelly, and doing the same. Our son is eleven months old and that is totally irrational on my part.

In this case, I read too many vitriolic, accusatory comments about older fans of this person. My reaction was to let my anxiety take the wheel and wonder if I wasn't really this damaged, sick person even though I would never even entertain the idea of doing inappropriate things with him. That boy could proposition me himself and I would shut his ass down! People who do cross those lines in relation to him make me feel physically sick and if I ever see examples of it online, I report it, though thankfully I haven't seen many due to my choice to not follow things related to him personally. 

Edited by Myshka

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@Myshka ,

Well, your whole tone sounds different now than it did in your first two posts. If you had sounded this way before, I wouldn't have thought that anything was amiss about what you were saying. So, I just wonder....if all you're saying is true, then what's the problem you're having about this guy? From what you said before, it sounded like you were obsessed with him and disturbed by your own obsession. Now it sounds like you're just saying you're disturbed by other people's obsessions and inappropriateness. Which is it?

If you're just disturbed that you're a fan and other fans your age are being inappropriate, then you don't have to feel you're weird just because you're the same age as they are. I am sure there are plenty of older fans who are not inappropriate, but they don't make as much noise, so maybe you just don't hear them as often. Just because there are some weird ones who happen to be your age, that doesn't make you the same as them. If you don't think like them, then you're not like them, even if you're the same age. If they make you sick, then don't hang around them. You can't control them, but you don't have to be around people you share nothing in common with.

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22 minutes ago, BlueStarr said:

@Myshka ,

Well, your whole tone sounds different now than it did in your first two posts. If you had sounded this way before, I wouldn't have thought that anything was amiss about what you were saying. So, I just wonder....if all you're saying is true, then what's the problem you're having about this guy? From what you said before, it sounded like you were obsessed with him and disturbed by your own obsession. Now it sounds like you're just saying you're disturbed by other people's obsessions and inappropriateness. Which is it?

If you're just disturbed that you're a fan and other fans your age are being inappropriate, then you don't have to feel you're weird just because you're the same age as they are. I am sure there are plenty of older fans who are not inappropriate, but they don't make as much noise, so maybe you just don't hear them as often. Just because there are some weird ones who happen to be your age, that doesn't make you the same as them. If you don't think like them, then you're not like them, even if you're the same age. If they make you sick, then don't hang around them. You can't control them, but you don't have to be around people you share nothing in common with.

@BlueStarr I made sure to establish in my first post that I wouldn't consider myself obsessed with him and that I have a full life that is not derailed by my being a fan of his. I simply have never been such a big fan of somebody significantly younger than me before and I find it odd and confusing. It's unfamiliar territory that I am trying to navigate.

My issues are with my own tendency to regress at times and lament getting older (in this case, my seeing resemblance between this guy and my old boyfriend from high school). My issues also boil down to my own tendency to take things personally and let my anxiety go haywire. Being a fan of his means being primarily in the company of crazed teenage girls that 1) I cannot relate to, and 2) brutally lambast other fans of his, with special vitriol and gross preconceived notions reserved for older fans of his. Such hatred combined with my unfamiliarity with the concept of aesthetic attraction made for a confusing time. I was trying to express my experience.

 

Edited by Myshka

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@Myshka ,

It sounds like there are several things going on here.

1. He reminds you of your old boyfriend from your teen years. You like him, partly because of that and partly because you like him for himself. Yet at the same time, you're not having sexual fantasies about him and you would never do anything inappropriate with him. Okay, there's nothing wrong with that. (If you honestly feel that this may turn into a latent sexual attraction, then it would be best to focus on something else.)

2. Part of the reason you're drawn to him is that he reminds you of a time when you were safer and happier. I get that. People regress to the past all the time, although usually subconsciously.

3. Young teenage fans hate and lambast you. Why is that? Do they just hate older fans? I am not clear about why they are negative toward you just because you're older. (Teenagers can be stupid, so if they have no reason to dislike you, forget it. They are teens.)

4. You worry that maybe you're like the older ones who are weird because the teens are lumping you in there with them? Why are they doing that? If they have no reason to do that, then I say again, forget it. They are teens. (They are even more immature than teenagers were in the past. Humans are devolving, lol!)

Sorry for being harsh earlier. I really didn't understand where you were coming from but I *think* I understand it better now. Thanks for trying to explain.

Edited by BlueStarr

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1 hour ago, BlueStarr said:

@Myshka ,

It sounds like there are several things going on here.

1. He reminds you of your old boyfriend from your teen years. You like him, partly because of that and partly because you like him for himself. Yet at the same time, you're not having sexual fantasies about him and you would never do anything inappropriate with him. Okay, there's nothing wrong with that. (If you honestly feel that this may turn into a latent sexual attraction, then it would be best to focus on something else.)

2. Part of the reason you're drawn to him is that he reminds you of a time when you were safer and happier. I get that. People regress to the past all the time, although usually subconsciously.

3. Young teenage fans hate and lambast you. Why is that? Do they just hate older fans? I am not clear about why they are negative toward you just because you're older. (Teenagers can be stupid, so if they have no reason to dislike you, forget it. They are teens.)

4. You worry that maybe you're like the older ones who are weird because the teens are lumping you in there with them? Why are they doing that? If they have no reason to do that, then I say again, forget it. They are teens. (They are even more immature than teenagers were in the past. Humans are devolving, lol!)

Sorry for being harsh earlier. I really didn't understand where you were coming from but I *think* I understand it better now. Thanks for trying to explain.

@BlueStarr They haven't said anything hateful to me in particular, just lots of nasty stuff about older fans of his in general that I've read. I don't really interact with other fans of his and on the rare occasion I do, I talk about things like his music and film roles as opposed to him personally. A couple of his roles are adaptations of book characters I love. I've never mentioned my age on Tumblr. I already know the kind of things most people would say to me for being a 31 year old fan of his and even though they're dumb teenage strangers doesn't mean I'm about to sign up for that kind of abuse! I just want to enjoy being a fan without the drama.

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I am so happy I found this forum. First of all, sorry for my poor English! 

Tonight... I could not stand it anymore. I googled celeb obsession and found you. People who feel like me. 

It started in 2011. I have to say I struggle with dystymia as long as I can think and I always had a crush on someone. But it was just a crush. This thing is different, a whole new level. The very first time I saw him sitting in that car in this series...it hit me. I felt it right away! He is not a Brad Pitt kind of guy, not at all, but his smile, his eyes, his voice, the way he moves, eats...just everything. I felt butterflies. Wow this felt good and confusing at the same time... I kept watching, the series was good tho. He got killed off, I started looking into his acting career. I wanted to watch more stuff of him and begged my husband to get me movies. His response „ you like that cocky a******?“ But he got me things to watch anyway. 

One day I searched for him on twitter. I did not do twitter until this point tho. Found him! Official twitter of...... I messaged him. 30 minutes later...my heart stopped... he replied..just like that. Again a couple of minutes later I get a notification...... is following you on twitter. I freak out. 

Till this day he likes my tweets every now and then. He retweets me every now and then. I even met him one time. No need to tell you how that felt! I even facebook called one time because I „know“ a friend of his and he was so crazy to ask me if I wanted to say hi to him. Of course I ****ing wanted! All I said was „oh my god I I love you“ he responded „I love you too sweetheart“ .... oh wow! Just wow! 

Of course I know he does not love me. He has a family of his own.

But I am so obsessed. I feel sick about it. I can not sleep. I am weak. And the worst thing: I do not want to give up on that love. It fullfills me but destroys me at the same time. But it‘s in my head. It‘s in my heart. Every day. Every minute. 

Thanks for reading. I hope all of you who struggle this can get on and leave this behind. I am not ready...yet

 

 

 

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Welcome to DF, BBNo1.  :hugs: I'm glad you made your way here. 

I haven't made contact with my CO, and don't plan to, but it's great that yours has responded to you sometimes.  I don't know if I would be terrified or excited if that happened for me - my CO is known for being a little wacky. 

For me, my CO helps me cycle down from anxiety attacks.  Anxiety and panic make my thinking very circular and very negative, and it becomes very hard to focus on anything.  So I let myself obsess over my CO, watch endless loops of my fave series (that he co-stars in) and it derails the anxiety.  Sort of like switching tracks so I can get the train to slow down and eventually stop. 

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You know, it‘s like I do no see he is a celeb. Of course I know but I do not like it. He got way more popular in the last year. I hate it. I really hate it. Because of it he is busy all the time. He gets so many tweets. I am always scared he is gonna forget me. 

I do that too btw. Watching movies and series again and again and again... I started reading fanfiction aswell. I know its bad for me cause I get caught deeper in my feelings. But I need it so much.

i wish I could post pics of him here right now! But I am to embarrased. Lol

 

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8 hours ago, BBNo1 said:

You know, it‘s like I do no see he is a celeb. Of course I know but I do not like it. He got way more popular in the last year. I hate it. I really hate it. Because of it he is busy all the time. He gets so many tweets. I am always scared he is gonna forget me. 

I do that too btw. Watching movies and series again and again and again... I started reading fanfiction aswell. I know its bad for me cause I get caught deeper in my feelings. But I need it so much.

i wish I could post pics of him here right now! But I am to embarrased. Lol

 

I hear you.  When you get at least 5 posts you can see the blog and private messaging features.  Maybe you could start a blog and  put pics there. unless you think that would be too unhealthy for you?  I don't really fight my obsession so much as harness it to fight my anxiety and depression.

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7 hours ago, 20YearsandCounting said:

I hear you.  When you get at least 5 posts you can see the blog and private messaging features.  Maybe you could start a blog and  put pics there. unless you think that would be too unhealthy for you?  I don't really fight my obsession so much as harness it to fight my anxiety and depression.

I want to and I do not want to...

It‘s difficult, I am married and have a kid. I should fight my obsession but.....

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On 8/29/2018 at 2:33 PM, BlueStarr said:

At least there is no law against obsessing about older men, lol! 😄 (If there was, I'd be in trouble, lol!)

I would have been in trouble years ago.  Lol.  My current CO is 67. I've always liked older men.

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I was doing really well for about a month but then I googled Josh again.  He is having legal problems because of this deck he built around his house.  The neighbors took him to court.  I didn’t want to read that.  I wanted to read that he is married now.  But it looks like he’s never going to get married.   The last woman he was with was Marisa Tomei and she doesn’t want to get married.  I am thinking about this friend I saw a few weeks ago.  I am not thinking of him romantically, I am just wishing I had more time with him.   He makes me feel good about myself and he’s funny.   He’s changed so much from how I remember him.  Every time I email him or call he gets back to me right away.  I  can’t believe I let so much time go by without seeing him.  His wife is so nice too.  His son lives not too far away from me so I am hoping they will come visit me some day.  I am sad because he might not be able to travel because of his health issues.  He knows about my mental health issues and his son has had anxiety.  I feel like I want to tell him that I want him to give his son and wife my number in case anything happens to him but he might be weirded out.

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I too am in love with a celebrity. It started in 2014 and it was love at first sight.  I have had other celebrity crushes before him but none were as intense.  I am willing to go into further detail but I am waiting for someone to reply to me first.  This story is an insane roller coaster ride.

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Taurus,

You can share as much as you are comfortable.  If you want to private message me, feel free.  It’s good that we’re not alone in having these strong feelings.  I don’t love Josh.  But I can understand how you feel because if he hadn’t made me so messed up I would be convinced that I loved him.

starbucksjunkee 

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Ok here goes...in 2013 I found out I had a serious condition and needed surgery. I flunked out of college in my last semester (which I deeply regret). I had to start a very strong medication, and after the first few weeks, I felt fine. So now it's March 2014 and I have no job, no degree, no boyfriend. I am only passing time waiting for my operation. And then I saw HIM.  He was so perfect (to me anyway). Watching him got me through the darkest days of my life.

So my surgery was successful but I was severely depressed for months afterward. UNTIL an opportunity to meet HIM came my way. I took out a loan and asked my mother to go with me (mind you, I am 37 years old at this point). She agreed to go with me and helped me with the travel expenses (she's a saint).

 

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Once we reached the city where the fan event was taking place, we took a wrong turn and MISSED THE EVENT.  We had no GPS. Eventually, we found the place where they were supposed to be, but it was over.  Fortunately, I exchanged numbers with a fan I met online, and she told me where they would be having dinner that night. We walked in the hotel lobby and THERE HE WAS. I don't know how I did it, but I walked over there and introduced myself. I explained how we got lost. He and the other actor hugged me and took pictures with us.

 

Edited by Tauruslefty

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We talked for a bit and he was so sweet and nice. I will always be grateful for the time I spent with him.  So the problem is that I am depressed because I feel like I will never be that happy again.  Oh, and I know for a fact that he has a girlfriend ( not that I had a chance with him anyway). I am in the process of figuring out if I have other health issues, but if it turns out I'm ok, I want to go back to college. I was a psychology major, and it's my dream to start a support group for people who are obsessed with celebrities.

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Sounds like an intense story! 

Meeting celebs has becom easy.. I do not know if that‘s a good thing. All the conventions... even on a cruiseship where you are with them for days!

The first feeling I got when you said you want to see him at the event was: omg I hope she does not mean my CO...

This is sick right? But my heart stopped for a second.

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12 hours ago, starbucksjunkee said:

I was doing really well for about a month but then I googled Josh again.  He is having legal problems because of this deck he built around his house.  The neighbors took him to court.  I didn’t want to read that.  I wanted to read that he is married now.  But it looks like he’s never going to get married.   The last woman he was with was Marisa Tomei and she doesn’t want to get married.  I am thinking about this friend I saw a few weeks ago.  I am not thinking of him romantically, I am just wishing I had more time with him.   He makes me feel good about myself and he’s funny.   He’s changed so much from how I remember him.  Every time I email him or call he gets back to me right away.  I  can’t believe I let so much time go by without seeing him.  His wife is so nice too.  His son lives not too far away from me so I am hoping they will come visit me some day.  I am sad because he might not be able to travel because of his health issues.  He knows about my mental health issues and his son has had anxiety.  I feel like I want to tell him that I want him to give his son and wife my number in case anything happens to him but he might be weirded out.

Josh... my CO had a small role in HIMYM

a couple of years ago... 

You managed to avoid Josh until 1 month ago? How did you do that?

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16 hours ago, BBNo1 said:

Sounds like an intense story! 

Meeting celebs has becom easy.. I do not know if that‘s a good thing. All the conventions... even on a cruiseship where you are with them for days!

The first feeling I got when you said you want to see him at the event was: omg I hope she does not mean my CO...

This is sick right? But my heart stopped for a second.

Don't worry...even if by some chance we DID have the same CO, I'm no threat. And I have actually become online friends with other fans.

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