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I lost my job today but I tried to think of it as a "possibility to find a better place". And then (for an hour) I watched the person I loved flirt with another girl. And then I left the two of them together, because I should treat myself better. And then I cried in the bus because sometimes tears help.

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6 hours ago, stolenmile said:

I lost my job today but I tried to think of it as a "possibility to find a better place". And then (for an hour) I watched the person I loved flirt with another girl. And then I left the two of them together, because I should treat myself better. And then I cried in the bus because sometimes tears help.

Hey @stolenmile, I would get a work it daily account.  They have a lot of useful advice for job seekers.

Today: I tried to meditate, read the news, watched a few videos, went to work, cleaned the bathroom, worked out.  Currently getting smashed and watching videos.

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Put out stock

Helped customers with loading furniture into their vehicles

Made conversation with customers to pass the time

Had lunch and talked to co-worker

Went food shopping after work

Watched PC 56

Read my book

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Met friends for brunch. Went to an evening party. A lot of socializing and I coped ahead by donning a handsome outfit so I'd appear more confident than I was. Yet I still had such trouble initiating a conversation with a stranger. I let myself be locked into long conversations with friends I know well rather than try meeting somebody new. Anxiety is. 

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2 hours ago, Atra said:

Met friends for brunch. Went to an evening party. A lot of socializing and I coped ahead by donning a handsome outfit so I'd appear more confident than I was. Yet I still had such trouble initiating a conversation with a stranger. I let myself be locked into long conversations with friends I know well rather than try meeting somebody new. Anxiety is. 

There's nothing harder in the world than starting a conversation with a stranger.  It's hard enough starting a conversation with friends or family.  To walk up to someone you don't even know the name of and start talking takes more nerve than anything.  We have to keep in mind the other person is just as nervous as we are though.  The other person is scared to death of saying the wrong thing as well.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

There's nothing harder in the world than starting a conversation with a stranger.  It's hard enough starting a conversation with friends or family.  To walk up to someone you don't even know the name of and start talking takes more nerve than anything.  We have to keep in mind the other person is just as nervous as we are though.  The other person is scared to death of saying the wrong thing as well.

But if you do not then you do not make any new friends for sure. 

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13 hours ago, Atra said:

Met friends for brunch. Went to an evening party. A lot of socializing and I coped ahead by donning a handsome outfit so I'd appear more confident than I was. Yet I still had such trouble initiating a conversation with a stranger. I let myself be locked into long conversations with friends I know well rather than try meeting somebody new. Anxiety is. 

[playing ZZ Top "Sharp Dressed Man" in the background]  For me, that situation with the clothes and friends around is pretty ideal on the social anxiety front (well, compared to being the wall flower). 

The tougher one is then getting out of myself.  It can feel fake, but I can sometimes now immerse myself in the other person's experiences, POV, etc.  I have to pay attention to what they're saying, ask questions...and, perhaps, even share a similar experience I've had.

I like Sober's take

11 hours ago, sober4life said:

We have to keep in mind the other person is just as nervous as we are though.  The other person is scared to death of saying the wrong thing as well.

 

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11 hours ago, sober4life said:

We have to keep in mind the other person is just as nervous as we are though.  The other person is scared to death of saying the wrong thing as well.

Thank you @sober4life. This is so true. I need this voice to be in my head. I need it competing with the others that keep telling me I'm just not good enough, not fun or interesting enough to insert myself randomly into somebody's social time. I'm in my element when I'm the one being approached else, I'm an emotional logjam. 

27 minutes ago, MarkintheDark said:

The tougher one is then getting out of myself.  It can feel fake, but I can sometimes now immerse myself in the other person's experiences, POV, etc.  I have to pay attention to what they're saying, ask questions...and, perhaps, even share a similar experience I've had.

Right on. The technique I employ to manage the constant litany of inner dialog is to imagine looking through a video screen, placing the inner dialog on the bottom of the screen as a scrolling news ticker. I know I cant block out thoughts so instead, I try to limit the amount of "screen real estate" they occupy. It's a cool technique and nope, I didn't invent it.

So, it doesnt help me with approaching strangers. It does help when I'm listening to, processing and empathizing with what they say. Because I've learned to use this, I'm no longer 100 miles away in my mind when other people are talking.

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Welp, tbh, I didn't do squat today.  Stayed up all night indulging in a pint of Haagen Dazs and a Netflix binge (ok, I'll admit it, one of the more embarrassing Rick Berman iterations of Star Trek).  I was up for an hour midday, decided it was too hot to do anything, and it was back to bed.  Total flat-on-my-back time, 10 hrs.

Y'know, I'm ok with that.  I feel rested.  I have a few things on which I can get a head start for the week at a leisurely pace.  Have a few "normal" things I'm looking forward to this week.  Yeah, the past 24 may be depression or my reverse SAD...and I don't really care.

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I did very little today (it was a weird, kinda neutral or bad day for me mentally).  I didn't accomplish anything, but I also didn't screw anything up.  Anyway right now I'm posting on DF so that'll be what I did today  :smile:     

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18 hours ago, Atra said:

So, it doesnt help me with approaching strangers. 

You can call me strange and I wouldn't mind, but I have the opposite problem. I'm such a weirdo that I'm really good at approaching strangers and engaging them in conversation.

But, after I've done that they'd better not cross my path again because then I turn into a mouse and run away. 

Yep, told you, strange.

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

You can call me strange and I wouldn't mind, but I have the opposite problem. I'm such a weirdo that I'm really good at approaching strangers and engaging them in conversation.

But, after I've done that they'd better not cross my path again because then I turn into a mouse and run away. 

Yep, told you, strange.

I'm good at talking to people now too.  Usually the people I talk to have a look on their face like what the hell is wrong with this person mainly because I don't a filter anymore.  I don't care what people think about me.

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