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How Do You Feel Right Now #6


Natasha1

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20 hours ago, sober4life said:

 

You absolutely can find love again.  You are a very lovable wonderful person in my opinion.  I wish you could see what I see.

As I wish for you, too.  Thank you for your kindness.  Our (your) thoughts are lovingly expressed in this song by David Wilcox.

If I had a spell of magic
I would make this enchantment for you:
A burgundy heart-shaped medallion
With a window that you could look through
So that when all the mirrors are angry
At your faults and all you must do
You could peek through that heart-shaped medallion
And see you from my point of view.
 

xo, WOTL

 

 

Edited by womanofthelight
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1 hour ago, RiverLight said:

I feel... OK! I have some confidence building for the first time since I started my new job. I had a very positive meeting with my boss, who is presenting my new strategies to a client on Monday. He loved my strategies and felt they were the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that they needed. He also presented my strategies to the internal team on the account, who also loved my ideas. YAY! So I feel pretty happy about that. And it's Friday, we had a half day today, so I am thrilled to be home and done for the week. Of course, I have lots of studying to do, but I can at least relax this afternoon and tomorrow.

Good for you, Riv!  

 

1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I love it!  I told you you were the right person for the job.  I'm so happy for you!❤️

I couldn’t agree more. 

:hugs:

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Felt weird throughout my shift at work today. A co-worker of mine that I think is attractive but is too young for me to even go out with since she’s like 12 years younger was talking to one of the new male workers & I can’t tell if she likes him or not but it just messed me up my entire shift for some reason that she was even talking to another guy. It’s like in my mind I think they’ll go out or something & it bothers me even though I wouldn’t want to go out with her due to the age difference. I’m just confused on why I’m even feeling this way but my entire shift it’s like I felt anxious & paranoid about it. I think if I were to guess it’s due to thinking she’s attractive but if I wouldn’t go out with her even if I had the chance I don’t get why it’s bothering me so much seeing her talking to another guy. I’m just really confused on why my mind is feeling this way about it.

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Justified, sad, uncomfortably satisfied, and really heartbroken.

B is breaking up with his girlfriend very shortly. As his friend, I'm happy he's standing up for himself to end a very toxic relationship that has been making him miserable; I'm sad that he's in a really hard place. As his ex-fiance, who he cheated on with this girl, I'm heartbroken that he imploded our relationship for this but bizarrely satisfied that he realizes how wrong he was to give me up.

I'm utterly confused by my feelings. But overall, he's a friend more than he's my ex, and I really feel for him today.

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4 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

As I wish for you, too.  Thank you for your kindness.  Our (your) thoughts are lovingly expressed in this song by David Wilcox.

If I had a spell of magic
I would make this enchantment for you:
A burgundy heart-shaped medallion
With a window that you could look through
So that when all the mirrors are angry
At your faults and all you must do
You could peek through that heart-shaped medallion
And see you from my point of view.
 

xo, WOTL

 

 

Your post made me cry.  It really cheered me up.  It woke me up and it brought me out of the darkness when I desperately needed it.  We are both good people that deserve the happy lives we want.  We've just been hurt so badly in life and we both are in impossible situations but we have to use all of our strength to fight for the lives we want.  I want the best for you and everyone here.  I would do anything to make the people here happy again.

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I am now the major support system for my ex and his now ex-girlfriend. This feels weird. But as much as I try to ignore it, I'm a caring empathetic person. I've told them both I will help however I can, but I will not be a go-between. My life is complicated enough. But I will do what I can because that's what I do. I'm at my best when I'm helping 

I just don't understand what my life has become!!!

Ugh, you know? Relationships. So unnecessarily complicated when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Edited by velvetpuddles
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On 7/17/2018 at 11:34 AM, sober4life said:

I quit my job because I thought the boss was after me but I fixed things.  When I'm paranoid I take everything someone says or does to the extremes.  I know why I'm paranoid.  I'm hanging around people I don't feel safe around and that has to stop.  I also have to stop being so hard on myself.  I've come so far and all I want to do is beat myself up over small mistakes.

Do you think you're hanging around these unsafe people because you feel lonely? Or are you forced to be with them? 😞 You've definitely come a long way and don't deserve that kind of criticism. A coincidence, I'm quitting my job because my co-workers are belittling me. Or maybe they're not and I'm just sensitive? I take things to the extremes too when I'm paranoid. It feels like a terrible "flight or fight" response and panic attack at once :console:

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Still blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️ 😊 ❤️ 🤗 

I'm afraid I'd get soooooo manic tonight because I'll be drinking! It's a weekly habit 😕 I love being manic (weird as that sounds) but sometimes it gets out of control! I don't want this feeling to end - at all.

(What's up with these emojis lol I just love expressing myself I guess 💙💙💙)

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Trying to psych myself up to drive down to my mom's house today. It's an hour straight down the highway. I don't want to go - she bums me out most of the time. BUT my brother came up from Maryland for the day before he moves to Tennessee in a couple weeks. I'm going solely to see him. And to find a duvet cover while I'm out. 😏

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45 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

I'm afraid I'd get soooooo manic tonight because I'll be drinking! It's a weekly habit 😕 I love being manic (weird as that sounds) but sometimes it gets out of control! I don't want this feeling to end - at all.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Nothing good ever comes from getting wasted...

Edited by lonelyforeigner
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8 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Why are you doing this to yourself? Nothing good ever comes from getting wasted...

I don't know! It's become a habit, on Saturday night, I drink 😕 I doubt I'll make a fool of myself this time! I don't use Facebook much anymore 

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

I said I was going to relax this weekend.  Relaxing is me sitting around obsessing over things that need to be done.

Same! Weekends are ultimate obsessive days for me! My thoughts are polluted with chores and stuff 😕 

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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

Do you think you're hanging around these unsafe people because you feel lonely? Or are you forced to be with them? 😞 You've definitely come a long way and don't deserve that kind of criticism. A coincidence, I'm quitting my job because my co-workers are belittling me. Or maybe they're not and I'm just sensitive? I take things to the extremes too when I'm paranoid. It feels like a terrible "flight or fight" response and panic attack at once :console:

Paranoia causes me to be around them.  I'm under constant pressure constantly being watched and judged by people.  I was going around them when I was feeling better hoping that would keep them from showing up when I was hiding away feeling bad.  A lot of my issues are because I'm afraid of most people.

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11 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

Well I don't know, I always say that "I won't make a fool of myself this time" lol I don't see what is wrong if it's done in moderation, being honest! I just need to control that binge drinking habit 😞  

Most people that go on binges have no real control once they start.  If It made you happy I wouldn't care but it's been ruining things lately.

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Pretty much I just think almost everyday for the past few weeks how I wish I was dead. Yet another day waking up to all my same issues. This is just ridiculous at this point. I really have no idea why I’m even still alive at this point. 

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15 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Most people that go on binges have no real control once they start.  If It made you happy I wouldn't care but it's been ruining things lately.

My thoughts exactly! @babyxgothxx, nothing wrong with having 1 or 2 drinks but when you binge it becomes a problem even if it's only once a week. Even if you're not going to embarrass yourself on Facebook there's still the issue of alcohol being a depressant, you're trading a few hours of happiness for days of feeling low. You may not consciously be aware of the low that follows but it messes with your serotonin levels which have an impact on your mood. 

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