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How Do You Feel Right Now #6


Natasha1

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To anyone suffering... I wish I had a wand to zap away all the pain you have... If only. It is unbearable knowing there are sweet, kind, innocent and really worthy people (everyone here) battling through hell 😖💔 Praying for all of you. Love you guys, you deserve to find peace ❤️  

Edited by babyxgothxx
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I had a weird mood day. Set off to a large, obnoxious shopping area about an hour away, full of excitement because I was on the hunt for a couple things for a project. My mind went foggy after a while, though. Started forgetting what I wanted to look for in a store and what stores I wanted to go to. It's a very high traffic area, and I found myself driving back and forth and doing laps around each store trying to remember what the hell I was doing.

I got so frustrated and completely mentally drained. Eventually I got almost everything and finally got home. Felt calm and excited again to start my project. But I couldn't find a damn tool sharp enough to cut the leather cleanly! I've been running around the house and garage trying everything I could find. Frustration again. Now I have to go out again tomorrow. And I'll probably lose all motivation to do this anyway.

Was gonna see a movie after shopping while I was out, but couldn't even handle the idea of that.

I'm just drained. Tired and frustrated and drained.

Edited by velvetpuddles
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3 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

To anyone suffering... I wish I had a wand to zap away all the pain you have... If only. It is unbearable knowing there are sweet, kind, innocent and really worthy people (everyone here) battling through hell 😖💔 Praying for all of you. Love you guys, you deserve to find peace ❤️  

What we need are gurus with database of solutions, whom we can tell our pains/sufferings & they can help identify the root cause & give respective applicable solutions

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3 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Hope you're okay hun :console:

It's been the worst weekend of my life and honestly I don't see any possibility of any good days again.  What was it Thursday when I remembered more horrible child abuse.  There are 2 of my abusers still living and life forced me into a corner and forced me to spend hours and hours with them.  One all day Friday and the other all day today.  I can't do this life much more.  It's obvious this is hell!

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Feeling guilty for being jealous of friends’ relationships. My bf isn’t as sexually open as some of my n his friends. He has insecurities and jealousy issues. My jealousy subsided after being with him for so long. He’s never been the jealous type up until now. It’s kind of difficult bc the rules to our relationship have changed many times, flip flopping on his part, over the past few weeks. I feel like the flip flopping worries me and maybe he’ll change his mind about everything and his kindness and understanding will be replaced by jealousy. 

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On 7/5/2018 at 7:28 AM, JD4010 said:

I'm feeling thankful. I didn't get fired this morning, as I expected I would for goofing up a federal audit. Turns out I wasn't the only one caught off guard with a change they had made. As of Tuesday afternoon, I thought I was going to be given the bum's rush out the back door this morning. I spent all day yesterday in a terrible state of worry, to the point of making myself sick. The meeting this morning went pretty well; my boss told me that the "monkey was off my back" now. Direct quote!

I've been given a new lease on life. I'm going to make the best of it.

This is fantastic news!!! I am really happy for you.  Keep doing what you are doing and know you are not alone. I know those panic attacks well. I have them and cant stop them. Its horrible. I dont take anything for them anymore and most of the time i feel like i am dying. The worst was when my dad died before we could renew relationship. I totally get it. I am so happy you are still at work and doing great. 🙂

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Life is awful right now I'll be honest.  Of course life is going to throw everything it can at me right now.  Most people would give up but not me.  Every second of my first year is very personal for me.  I could literally be on fire and I won't stop.  As long as my heart is beating the days of sobriety will continue to add up.  304 days and counting!

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I am very anxious, shaky, and trying not to have a panic attack. Found a very sweet, large dog yesterday. No room at my place, so a guy that lives out of his jeep with his own dog took him for a day. I've done all the usual postings, contacted local rescue group, etc.

Please everyone, microchip your pets (and spay/neuter).   

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I hate waking up sad and confused. I have a big day today that I don’t even want to do anymore. I was excited and now all I want to do is be held and comforted. Even when he tells me everything is ok I don’t feel it. I hate my brain, my body, my urges. My entire being is unclean just by the way I was born. 

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13 minutes ago, Sophy said:

Hey Cassis, long time no see. I was wondering how you were, the other day.

Hello again Sophy 🙂 Hope you have been doing okay these days. I’m alright, things eased up for a bit for several weeks and I even have some vacation time coming up...but today is one of those “special” days and I’m feeling the strain of loneliness and isolation a bit more than usual. It’ll pass...

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1 minute ago, cassis_creme said:

Hello again Sophy 🙂 Hope you have been doing okay these days. I’m alright, things eased up for a bit for several weeks and I even have some vacation time coming up...but today is one of those “special” days and I’m feeling the strain of loneliness and isolation a bit more than usual. It’ll pass...

Hi : )

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm dealing with lots of triggers at the moment tho, so that's emotionally unsettling and a bit draining. But I am coping, so I feel relatively proud of myself for that.

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16 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

To anyone suffering... I wish I had a wand to zap away all the pain you have... If only. It is unbearable knowing there are sweet, kind, innocent and really worthy people (everyone here) battling through hell 😖💔 Praying for all of you. Love you guys, you deserve to find peace ❤️  

That's a great wish, my friend. I want everyone to finally get out of hell as well. You have been through too much already.

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Life is awful right now I'll be honest.  Of course life is going to throw everything it can at me right now.  Most people would give up but not me.  Every second of my first year is very personal for me.  I could literally be on fire and I won't stop.  As long as my heart is beating the days of sobriety will continue to add up.  304 days and counting!

304! That's astounding. My hat is off to you (sorry about the blinding glare from my bald head).

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36 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

304! That's astounding. My hat is off to you (sorry about the blinding glare from my bald head).

I wouldn't have made it here without you.  Your friendship means everything to me.  I have to be at the top of my game right now.  All eyes are on me and then when people least expect it I'll be gone in real life.  It's time to start over.

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