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How Do You Feel Right Now #6


Natasha1

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3 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Gah. I hope you didn't drink!!

Your mother sounds like a real piece of work. Saying that to your child is verbal abuse.

Too bad... I just did! I wish I came on here before!

Yeah, but she only said it once... She's a good mother besides that lol

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10 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Hi ALF.  Oh wait that's me in the mirror.😥

Can't be true! Attractive on the inside makes attractive on the outside. I only say this because I haven't seen you so it's not fair to say you're good looking, but you probably are. Unless that's you in the profile pic, which is attractive.

 

Edited by anxiousE
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I'm feeling kinda anxious. There's some tension at home, plus we're all stressed about having house guests and making it a very pleasant visit for them. So yeah, we're expecting some guests by next week, so if I disappear some day, it's because I'm getting preoccupied with the hosting. They'll be here all summer so I'm sure I'll pop in once in awhile, but I've no idea how hectic it will be until they arrive. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep. We're switching up sleeping arrangements and sleep and anxiety are issues of mine, so it's what I'll likely be commenting on. Hopefully there will be some good stuff too though. Did I mention I'm back on the Zoloft? I think it's helping my mood, but there's still a lot that I've got to sort out in myself and my relationships so it doesn't solve all of my issues...but I FEEL better, as per the thread topic. 😉

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On 6/15/2018 at 12:10 PM, samadhiSheol said:

Today, right now, I feel connected to you guys.

So much going through my head. Haha.

Take care, all of you.

Thanks @samadhiSheol.  That's so nice to hear.  One of my big conflicts is that many times I feel lonelier  because of the distance and that we are for the most part, strangers. 😊

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23 hours ago, Deep_joy said:

The day started with me being down like many other days in last 11 months. Right now, I am kind of neutral mind. Whenever some anxiety or jealousy or resentment or loneliness is appearing, I am taking few deep breath and it is working to some extent.

Welcome, Deep_joy - keep that up!  And lean on us if you need to!!

Best to you, my friend!

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now that i am on this new med, the reason for this new med was for ppl i love. the ppl i love think i am trying to create more conflict between us, but really i am just speaking my mind in the moment rather then bottling it up. So when we are alone the mask comes off im quite and want to be alone dont want anyone see the true me. He will ask me what's wrong. I wont remember exactly why or what bothered me but then he is left wondering why doent she want to sleep in bed with me? When i do remember im scared of saying anything because i become the submissive type life if i do speak what will his reaction b (negative? violent) I know it wont be but the past will always hunt me feels like it had just naturally  become mechanism with coping feelings even from an early age.

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And I feel like a complete h-e! I kinda flirted with my taken crush last night. I kept telling him he's so cute for forgiving me. I put so many heart emojis and called him darling!!!!!! YUCK!!! I immediately realised what I was doing, then kept on apologising. Being drunk is no excuse!

I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. I told him to block me but he kept saying, "You have done nothing wrong" He would just never block me. We are friends now but I wish I was dead. I won't ever unadd him again. This is too much! I love him but come on.

I never thought I'd ever be a h-e. Guess I am worse than I thought I was. My opinion of myself was already low before this haha

 

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