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How Do You Feel Right Now #6


Natasha1

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22 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Today I want to curl up with the kitty cats purring next to me watching movies. That's all I want to do right now.

 

Me, every night. I sit down in the recliner and instantly, both of mine jump up onto me. It's the one thing I really look forward to in life.

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7 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Me, every night. I sit down in the recliner and instantly, both of mine jump up onto me. It's the one thing I really look forward to in life.

Aww, that's sooooo sweet! Cats are the best. Glad you have some snugly pals! :hugs:

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Baby steps are what get me through.  And those steps are usually about nature.  If I can't be grateful for being alive and in physical pain (Oh, YEAH.  That's GREAT.), I can at least be grateful for magnolia blooms and sprigs of green on the trees. 

Fantasy is too painful.  The man I love had a stroke recently (I would imagine, probably thanks to all the viagra it takes to keep up with his polyamorous lifestyle).  I would be there by his side in a minute if I thought he needed or wanted me there.  So, I have to keep believing that the universe is helping me dodge a bullet; that it would be more painful to be near him and see him with his lovers, than it is to text him something encouraging every other day.

My insistence that he is the one for me is hurting me.  But how do I let go the thought?  And I have to say after enough tries, online dating -- for me -- is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. 

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25 minutes ago, Logan Sims said:

I feel like complete crap. It's the same as any other day. Still young (15 years old) Yet I don't see the point in going on in this screwed up world.

I'm trying to remember back when I was 15. It was shortly after the moon was formed, but before screen doors were invented. Haha. But I was already experiencing depression and anxiety at that age. Everything was a struggle and nothing came easily. I actually liked doing mindless work in those days, such as shovelling cow hooey on the farm. It kept me occupied and having a clean cattle yard seemed like an achievable goal.

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3 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I'm trying to remember back when I was 15. It was shortly after the moon was formed, but before screen doors were invented. Haha. But I was already experiencing depression and anxiety at that age. Everything was a struggle and nothing came easily. I actually liked doing mindless work in those days, such as shovelling cow hooey on the farm. It kept me occupied and having a clean cattle yard seemed like an achievable goal.

Me too.  My parents took my to a shrink in 1969 when I was in kindergarten because I was too anxious to go to school.  A lifelong sentence, it's been.  Why can't we get paroled?

 

 

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16 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Fantasy is too painful.  The man I love had a stroke recently (I would imagine, probably thanks to all the viagra it takes to keep up with his polyamorous lifestyle).  I would be there by his side in a minute if I thought he needed or wanted me there.  So, I have to keep believing that the universe is helping me dodge a bullet; that it would be more painful to be near him and see him with his lovers, than it is to text him something encouraging every other day.

My insistence that he is the one for me is hurting me.  But how do I let go the thought?  And I have to say after enough tries, online dating -- for me -- is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. 

Hi WOTL, perhaps you've already answered your own question? That fantasy is too painful? That you know your insistence on him being the one is hurting you far too much?

So how do you let go? By fully embracing that it is just fantasy --- that fantasy doesn't suit reality in this case.

It seems to me, based on what you've written, that you seek a monogamous relationship -- he cannot provide that for you, so he is not the one. His values are the opposite of yours (if I can assume here?). So, you differ vastly in values and lifestyle, two fundamental areas of compatibility. He is best suited to someone who is like him, and same for you.

As disappointing as it is when we embrace reality and let go of the fantasy -- we are far better off and can let go more easily -- like, oh! Eureka!! We are far too different! It would never work, and neither one of us would be happy or satisfied!

And I know what you mean about online dating... it can be very frustrating. I can relate to that. However, I did meet and date one man not too long ago from online for a couple months. We had a total blast together! Granted, we turned out to not be compatible for the long-term, but we had SO much fun together and it was a very healthy relationship experience for me that I needed badly at the time.

So, while there are a lot of duds online, there can also be a few good ones, too. I know this can also depend on your geo location as well. Argh. Bottom line -- yes, dating is maddening sometimes and is not easy. I feel for you!

Hang in there, my friend. You are a wonderful, beautiful soul... you deserve to be happy.

:console::console:

 

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I am.... hmm...  how am I feeling?

I am actually very worried about my knee right now. I developed a sort of arthritis over a year ago in the same knee, but now it feels like I've strained muscles in there and the pain is far worse, on both sides of my knee. I feel like an old woman walking down the stairs. I prob should get an X-ray. ARGH. I am not good at going to the doctor about these types of things. I am so used to my body being strong and resilient, it's totally freaking me out. I take my body for granted and assume I can bang it up as much as I like and I'll be just fine, as I have always been.

Damn...

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Age is catching up with me.  I am one of those people that act like a teenager forever.  I just go out and push myself physically without fear but it's time to slow down a little.  Acting the way I act will lead to a early heart attack.  There was a couple of times in the last week I felt like I could fall over.  I feel lost at the moment to be honest.

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19 hours ago, Stencils118 said:

Lonely, very lonely. It's 2am and I just want someone to talk to and to hug. My eyes are tired but I'm not tired enough to sleep and my head is full of bad unhelpful thoughts.

I know how you feel.  I feel that way every single day. 

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15 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Me too.  My parents took my to a shrink in 1969 when I was in kindergarten because I was too anxious to go to school.  A lifelong sentence, it's been.  Why can't we get paroled?

 

 

Great question. The cosmic justice system is really screwed up. We've done our time, man.

Your message reminded me that I got put in a hospital for "tests" when I was 7...so probably in the spring of 1967. Nobody ever told me exactly why but I had the EEG test. I think my parents were already worried that I was some kind of nutter at that point. I had horrible ADD (still do) and I was getting into a lot of trouble. So...yeah, my problems go way back too.

Life is such a joy.

 

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15 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Life is lonely, boring, and dispiriting.

The one bit of excitement in my life is when my boss barges in and chews me out. I get to experience anxiety at that point. Otherwise, my life has flat-lined.

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On 16/04/2018 at 6:49 PM, JD4010 said:

@babyxgothxx I can say with complete certainty that you are not ugly nor undateable. I know that is not the case.

We here at DF don't want you to die.

Thanks... But I know I'm ugly on the outside... It sucks tbh! Today, I'm not feeling ugly but I really should be because I am... 

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Sad. I have little time left in college (2 months) and feel I would miss everyone in my class during the holidays... I'm also worried whether I am failing the course or not! I will ask my teacher tomorrow if there's anything to complete.

It's funny how much you hate something at the start, but when it is coming to an end, you begin to appreciate it!  

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Alone. My depression and anxiety kicked back into gear in the past two weeks. Doc upped my meds and added another. I’ve made appointments with the therapist I used to see and have looked times and dates for group meetings. My husband Mom and grown girls think all will be fine once the meds have time to work. Everyone I know works and my only close girlfriend lives 6 hours away and also works (when she can). She has her own mental health issues too. 

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29 minutes ago, Stencils118 said:

Thank you sober4life, it's somewhat comforting to know, as selfish as that may sound. 

I know what you mean.  I'm glad that I am not the only one that feels this way but at the same time hate that others suffer like me.

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No, I know what you mean. I know I’m not the only one in this boat. I’m home from work with a fever and cough today but I hope I can go back tomorrow. My husband seems to pull away and sort of ignore my symptoms. He just says it’ll be alright and maybe it will. Maybe I’m too dependent on him. I really think my marriage of 20 years is in trouble. I’m scared

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34 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I know what you mean.  I'm glad that I am not the only one that feels this way but at the same time hate that others suffer like me.

Yeah exactly. It's so unreal that so many people feeling like this though, I don't understand how so many of us can feel so wrong, out of place and see no other option that they are willing to end it all to stop the invisible turmoil. 

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Finally the sun is out for an entire day and it's not too windy--just a gentle breeze. Feels like spring.  I've had a very social day, unusual for me. I feel scattered in my mind, I realize when I do the early-early shift at work. I was at the desk where it was slow. So slow. Tomorrow I'll be at the busier desk, but I don't mind. Anyway, I'm getting into the pop station they play at work. It's, I swear, the same songs playing that were playing when I started there in 2011...and I went through a 3-year break working at the desk...

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