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How Do You Feel Right Now #6


Natasha1

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3 hours ago, RiverLight said:

I am SO nervous. I have a call with the company CEO today who is (most likely) extending a job offer, unless he tells me they want to check my references first. But I know it's a job offer coming since he basically told me as much last week -- ie, that they were all very enthused about me and want to move forward. I will not negotiate more this time around. The last job offer I had, I botched entirely because I asked for too much! I cannot afford to lose this offer this time. Anywho, I am so nervous I may need to take an Ativan. Good lord.

I have faith in you.  You are much stronger than you realize.

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I've been horribly busy. Lots of turnover at work, so taking extra shifts. I take early early morning shifts. But if I stay up too late the night  before, I'm a bit of a wreck. But my spouse is a night person and seems to be okay with 6 hours sleep a night. Me, it takes a toll on me, 6 hours one night, 5.5 another. And so on and that makes me anxious.

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8 minutes ago, Dolphin2013 said:

I've been horribly busy. Lots of turnover at work, so taking extra shifts. I take early early morning shifts. But if I stay up too late the night  before, I'm a bit of a wreck. But my spouse is a night person and seems to be okay with 6 hours sleep a night. Me, it takes a toll on me, 6 hours one night, 5.5 another. And so on and that makes me anxious.

The hardest part about work for me is getting enough sleep.  Some nights I'm awake all night obsessing over work and only get a nap or no sleep.  5 or more days like that and I'm a mess.

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2 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Never mind... He thanked me for checking in on him and appreciates it! What?? Gosh why is he sooo sweet??? I wish he was mine but we usually want what we can't have, right? Oh well 💜💜💜

In my case, what I want most is forever just out of reach. Maybe 1 mm beyond my grasp. I try with all of my might to close that 1 mm gap but I can never quite pull it off. Frustrating as hell.

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48 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

In my case, what I want most is forever just out of reach. Maybe 1 mm beyond my grasp. I try with all of my might to close that 1 mm gap but I can never quite pull it off. Frustrating as hell.

Yes I'm the same way I can see what I want but I'm looking through the holes of a fence watching everyone else on earth on the other side easily getting what I want.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yes I'm the same way I can see what I want but I'm looking through the holes of a fence watching everyone else on earth on the other side easily getting what I want.

but getting what I want would mean success - that never happens. Failure is what got me here

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1 hour ago, surfcaster said:

 i feel tired, insomnia stinks, even on traz i get insomnia sometimes and this stuff usually knocks me out

I used to take it to sleep and it helped for a short time and then it was like I was taking nothing.

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I've given up. Just going through the motions of this crap we call life.

**** this .

I want out.

I didn't ask to be here so don't say "life is a gift".

Some gift.

The ones who are unfit to live end up taking their lives.

I'll be one of them soon enough. **** this.

 

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48 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Awww, thanks Sober. :hugs: Same goes for you!!!

I'm strong because I have to be.  I have no choice.  The only reason they are sending mom home is because I am here and I appear to be doing well.  I'm just a great actor.  Mom's freedom depends on me keeping it together until the end of June.  I can't seem to have one bad day the whole time so it's a tremendous amount of pressure.

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5 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I'm strong because I have to be.  I have no choice.  The only reason they are sending mom home is because I am here and I appear to be doing well.  I'm just a great actor.  Mom's freedom depends on me keeping it together until the end of June.  I can't seem to have one bad day the whole time so it's a tremendous amount of pressure.

Your post reminds me of this awesome quote:

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice".

~ Bob Marley

Hugs! :hugs::hugs: Your mom is very lucky to have you by her side! Stay the course.... you'll be just fine. DO allow yourself to feel down if you need to be. That kind of pressure can be too much.

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4 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Your post reminds me of this awesome quote:

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice".

~ Bob Marley

Hugs! :hugs::hugs: Your mom is very lucky to have you by her side! Stay the course.... you'll be just fine. DO allow yourself to feel down if you need to be. That kind of pressure can be too much.

I will.  I'm Marilyn Monroe for the world and Norma Jean Baker at home.

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2 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

I've given up. Just going through the motions of this crap we call life.

**** this .

I want out.

I didn't ask to be here so don't say "life is a gift".

Some gift.

The ones who are unfit to live end up taking their lives.

I'll be one of them soon enough. **** this.

 

..and now I feel pretty good.

***.(what the *) haha

Edited by samadhiSheol
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19 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know I keep it together for mom.  If mom would have died in February I would be in the cemetery right now.

Same here, I pretty much try to keep it together mainly for my parents. But I'm not sure until when I will be able to. I've felt this horrible almost all my life. For decades.

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18 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yes I wish that.  If I was Tom Hanks on Castaway I wouldn't try to get off the island.  If I saw a boat or plane I would hide so they didn't see me.

Same honestly :console:In fact, I try to hide from people as it is 

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12 hours ago, StillStandinTall said:

but getting what I want would mean success - that never happens. Failure is what got me here

YES! Constant, chronic failure has dragged me down. Decade after decade of failing. I should have rid the earth of my incompetence long ago.

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18 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thank you my biggest problem is my own low self esteem.

You're welcome :happy: Aww hun, sometimes we, ourselves, can be our worst bullies! You are definitely not a laughing stock. Nobody here in this forum is! You are a fighter that people here respect 💜  

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I feel like sh!t. I couldn't sleep last night and I have a full day of work ahead of me. Then, my daughter wants me to drive 2.5 hours each way for a book signing event tonight. I won't be home until after midnight. I hope I can stay awake while driving.

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17 hours ago, JD4010 said:

In my case, what I want most is forever just out of reach. Maybe 1 mm beyond my grasp. I try with all of my might to close that 1 mm gap but I can never quite pull it off. Frustrating as hell.

Yes, it's really frustrating!!! What's also frustrating is your mind nagging you that you need that thing :console: 

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