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How Do You Feel Right Now #6


Natasha1

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24 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I'm tired of being rejected.  At this point I wish I would just die.

I feel the same way a lot of times. Well, most of the time actually. More and more people are noticing I'm depressed simply by the look on my face most of the time. Last sunday was really odd because in the morning I was super just down, not sure why it's just from being depressed. My friend Ryan asked me what was wrong, asked if it had anything to do with a certain girl I like. It didn't, she didn't do anything to me or say anything to set me off. At some point in the afternoon Christine (the girl I like) came over and talked to me for a few minutes while she was able to. Suddenly my mood had completely flipped from being like Eeyore to basically happy. I really don't know what to do. My celexa might be messing with me.

Yesterday was bad because the celexa really messed with my mood. I was just depressed all day, cried at work and then at home cried myself to sleep. Today was sort of the same way only I haven't cried myself to sleep yet.

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1 hour ago, roadking02 said:

I feel the same way a lot of times. Well, most of the time actually. More and more people are noticing I'm depressed simply by the look on my face most of the time. Last sunday was really odd because in the morning I was super just down, not sure why it's just from being depressed. My friend Ryan asked me what was wrong, asked if it had anything to do with a certain girl I like. It didn't, she didn't do anything to me or say anything to set me off. At some point in the afternoon Christine (the girl I like) came over and talked to me for a few minutes while she was able to. Suddenly my mood had completely flipped from being like Eeyore to basically happy. I really don't know what to do. My celexa might be messing with me.

Yesterday was bad because the celexa really messed with my mood. I was just depressed all day, cried at work and then at home cried myself to sleep. Today was sort of the same way only I haven't cried myself to sleep yet.

You are a lot like me.  More than anything you want to be loved.  Life can't even give us that.  I give up.  Whatever it is that's wrong with me everyone seems to see it.

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16 hours ago, Nonomi said:

I feel exhausted even though I’m not doing anything. Pointless stress is chickening me

This happens too often to me. I get exhausted just thinking about what needs to be done. Going to try a "3 tasks per day" plan - if I get just 3 tasks done, try to feel a sense of accomplishment and let the rest go. Today, it's laundry, change the cat litter, and do a bit of yard work. If I can't manage to do one of those, I'll replace it with a different task and try not berate myself about what didn't get done.   

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On 5/18/2018 at 2:46 PM, JD4010 said:

@babyxgothxx Now THAT'S the way to look at it!! I love the "being single means I can be flirty" aspect! Hahaha.

I'm happy being single too, in spite of growing old quickly.

@salparadise6132 Thanks bro! Yeah, I know it's over. I don't know why I don't simply move on. I appreciate the pep talk!

Haha yes! That's probably the best part about being single. Hun you can flirt at any age! Age is just a number. 

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I feel pure guilt! I'm sorry for the gross details but...

I got so drunk last night and spewed up in the bathroom. My parents had to clean it up and are SO mad at me. They also aren't letting me drink as much ever again. I drank 2 bottles last night; now they are limiting it to one. Thank goodness they are still allowing me to drink. I still hate myself though... I'm such a greedy, out-of-control pig! F--k me

(Sorry for swearing as well... I'm so angry at myself at the moment!)

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13 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm tired of being rejected.  At this point I wish I would just die.

Same! I seem to get rejected by everyone. Whether it's an employer, crush, friend... I don't know what's so wrong with me for everyone to keep rejecting me like this!

Then, there are those many friends who say they "will never leave you." Yet they do once the warranty has worn off!

It makes me wanna die too but please hang in there :console:  

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I feel absolutely awful and I have no one else to vent to cos I’m Such a loser my Husband hates me and I hate him and I’m sick and no one cares and I don’t want to care either I don’t! Why is it my responsibility?! Why?! Is it not their responsibility too! The world is so stupidly unfair and these days when I hate myself I hate God for even creating me and creating this stupid world which don’t make sense. I hate myself. 

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26 minutes ago, merryxry said:

My father died couple of weeks ago,  my prostate cancer has come back and I just cannot seem to shake off the depression.  I have no friends and so I joined this forum to see if it would help

Welcome to DF, merryxry.  We're here to listen and give support.

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19 minutes ago, KidSurvivor2011 said:

A lot better. I'm more independent, going to be working a full-time job soon, and no longer have to rely on the support or happiness of others.

 

- KS

Hey! Wow - good to hear you are doing better!

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1 hour ago, merryxry said:

My father died couple of weeks ago,  my prostate cancer has come back and I just cannot seem to shake off the depression.  I have no friends and so I joined this forum to see if it would help

I'm very sorry for the loss of your father and having to deal with the cancer too. It seems to me you're grieving as anyone would. If you had depression before, that magnifies the intensity of all the emotions. Prostate cancer runs in my husband's family - the 2 (of 4) that caught it early and sought treatment recovered completely. I hope the doctor's can give you the treatment that you need.  I also hope you find these forums helpful -- there are many who have helped me. There's a grief/bereavement forum here that you may find helpful. Best wishes.

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still angry at people for lack of an attempt to understand, still have anxiety,  still don't want to be here but not as bad as before,  the medicated zombie effect seems to be leveling out more so that's something i guess

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4 hours ago, merryxry said:

My father died couple of weeks ago,  my prostate cancer has come back and I just cannot seem to shake off the depression.  I have no friends and so I joined this forum to see if it would help

Damn...I'm sorry. That is an awful lot of stuff you are dealing with. You are indeed among friends here.

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5 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

Nothing I do means anything to me. Nothing I do gives me satisfsction. 

Everything is pointless.

I usually have that outlook too. I was feeling a bit better yesterday but wrecked it by getting bombed last night. I feel like hell today and the depression is back full force.

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9 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Same! I seem to get rejected by everyone. Whether it's an employer, crush, friend... I don't know what's so wrong with me for everyone to keep rejecting me like this!

Then, there are those many friends who say they "will never leave you." Yet they do once the warranty has worn off!

It makes me wanna die too but please hang in there :console:  

I will hang in there.  I would never reject you.  I think you're great!  This world seems to single people out.  Once the world doesn't like you it seems like there is nothing you can do to change their mind so I'm done.  I'm going to finish my work obligations until November and then I'm dropping out of society.  I'm retiring from people.  I'm going to live off the grid and I hope I never see anyone again.

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Physically, I feel awful.  I'm tired, everything aches.  The areas where I get my monthly injections (yesterday) are particularly sore and have been all day.  Physical activity is painful.  Sleeping or even finding a comfortable sleeping position is difficult.

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