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Hopeless.


morticiaddams

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Hi!

 

I am second year of uni.. I feel like dropping out this week or even tomorrow. I have already dropped one of my three units of the semester and I have two major essay's due May 3rd & 4th. I have tried to motivate myself but I just feel so emotionally overwhelmed. 

I am turning 29 in two weeks time and unfortunately had to move back home last year as I couldn't find myself suitable housing. It has been the worse mistake of my life, I have gained so much weight and my 5'3 frame now weighs 259lbs. I am so ashamed and my parents constantly compete and be little me over how they are fitter and more active than I. As I am turning 29 the taunting has gotten worse.. My father keeps calling me old, and my mother said I am no longer beautiful. My parents are divorced and as I live with my mother I am constantly stuck between their bickering.. My father makes fun of my mother and I with our living situation, as we are both unemployed and  rely solely upon government assistance. My mother on the other hand hasn't forgiven my father for his cruel ways. My father has a fiancee who is adding to the contention and will bully bother my sisters and I. 

My parents have controlled every aspect of my life and every man I have liked they have strongly disliked and I have absolutely no friends. I havent in several years. When my parents divorced five years ago.. I slept everyday for those five, due to extreme sadness and loneliness.

I only went to uni to shut my father up as he called me nothing but a loser as I wasn't doing anything with my life. This year has been terrible thus far, my parents have doubled in their antics and I am so tired of crying and hurting. 

I have never learned to say no to them 

I hate myself for letting them control me.  

I know if I quit uni I will feel so awfully ashamed and my father + his fiancee will ridicule me. 

My mother doesn't care and blames my father for the issues I am having. 

What should I do? 

 

 

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Hi @morticiaddams, welcome to DF! First, you've come to a place to talk about this, so kudos to you! That's a big step.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! It truly sounds like a toxic place for you. I would give you advice, but I don't think my response to what you're going through is exactly healthy. 

There's so many people here that all are battling their own wars in their lives that have great advice, so i'm confident someone is going to give you some advice that is worth it.

Good luck to you dear!

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Going to school is hard work. College is no joke, and very time consuming. It sounds like you are surrounded by toxic relationships. With all that said, it sounds like you have two options: therapy with your family members; in order to open a dialogue of their emotional abuse and build a healthy relationship over time or to get away from their negativity and emotional abuse all together. Or a combination of the two.

Perhaps renting a room near your university could be of a real asset. The cost could be less if you rent just for yourself, and that way you won’t be encompassed by constant belittling and negativity. You need to refocus on yourself and your goals. It sounds like the chaos of their lifestyles has significantly and poorly impacted yours. I’m so sorry to hear of the way you have been treated but I hope you know that it isn’t right and that you in no way deserve that treatment. Maybe once you have given yourself a break from them you can then explain why you needed the break and express what you need from them for a healthy relationship. 

If they are any sort of decent human beings they have to know what they’re doing is not right. And I hope that that is enough for them to seek help.

 

I don’t know if any of this is possible for you, but I really hope so. Best wishes for you.

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