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Nashe

Hurting Myself

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TRIGGER WARNING...........

>POST DISCUSSES SELF HARM

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I don't fit in. Lemme just put that out there  whenever I get angry, sad and fill too empty and neglected which is happening a lot these days. I slap myself and cut myself. I get this relief. I think I have panick attacks because sometimes I can't even breath with anxiety and pain so many memories flood my mind. Whenever I pass a bridge or I'm upstairs I have this edge to throw myself in and sometimes dying sounds like a great idea. The idea of complete darkness and peace attacks me but I was born in a total Christian house so the part that stops me is hell. Eternal toment I don't know what to do. 

Edited by Natasha1
add trigger warning, change topic

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My heart hurts for you, Nashe.  Please don't hurt yourself.  If I was there I'd stop you by taking your hands in mine then I'd hug you.  The relief you feel is because you think you are punishing yourself and deserve it but you don't.  And it always comes back, doesn't it?  Instead please work on the root of that pain and anxiety.  I want you to overcome those thoughts of escape by dying.  Instead envision yourself overcoming and living a good life with those painful times behind you.  It can happen.  Then you can help others.  If you're not in counseling this is a must.  If you don't have one you can call Focus on the Family (855.382.5433) for a free consultation with a counselor and then they can refer you to someone in your area.  I called them once during a really dark time and the voice on the other end was kind, supportive, and encouraging.  I pray you find just what you need at this time.  I don't know where your personal faith is but God is not someone to fear but He loves you just as you are right in this moment and wants to steer you in the right direction, to His heart for you.  Hugs.

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I am so sorry for the hurt you are going through right now. I have had thoughts of depression and suicide before too. Let me tell you it is not worth it! If you have grown up in a Christian home, you have probably gone to church and heard all the Bible stories as a kid and have learned many,many great lessons from God's Word. You probably already know also that growing up in a Christian home does not make you a Christian either. You have find your own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. When you ask Jesus to come and live inside of you, to be your God and Father, only then will you find true and real love and peace in your life. As one of these wonderful people have already recommended to you, there is a phone # for a free counseling help. I have used them before too, they helped me and encouraged me also. Focus On The Family- (855-382-5433). I strongly encourage you to give them a call as well. I will be praying for you.

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Hello Nashe, it breaks my heart to know how much you are hurting.  The anger, sadness and pain from the past are haunting you, isn't it.  You have been terribly violated and you can't shake the memories but they keep dragging you down under.  How have you been trying to overcome this situation?  What have you tried?  Have you spoken to a counselor or a pastor?  

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