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lackluster

How to date with depression

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One way to think about anxiety is remind yourself it's just stage fright.

We all have have many roles to play in life. 

Some are harder than others of course.

Be honest about your anxiety/stage fright and your date may pleasantly surprise you.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Good luck.

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If you're interested in the woman, the depression will crack just a little. 

And from that crack, you shine what little light you have left, and have fun while you do it. If she's the one it will be worth it.

And yes I know, easier said than done.

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I'm pretty much undateable but there are two things I learned when it comes to friendships with women that would probably also apply to dating:

  • Don't expect them to fix your life, sometimes it can be tempting to offload all our problems and make someone else responsible for our own happiness, this tends to overburden people. Treat a (potential) girlfriend as a partner, not as a therapist or parent. 
  • Make sure to have a life of your own, be it hobbies or friends outside of the relationship, being interesting and independent is generally much better than being clingy (unless you find someone who's clingy herself). 

Lastly you need to ask yourself if you're stable enough to handle rejection. You may get lucky right away but most guys will face dozens of rejections which can be really hard when you're already feeling bad about yourself, in my case I have found it's better not to ask anyone out because every time I got rejected it exaggerated my depression for several months. 

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Hey lackluster, 

Its great to hear that you are interested in dating, wanting to socialise and let somebody else into your world can be wonderful. 

lonelyforeigner has added some great tips for you above and I agree 100%.

I would say have fun, remember your identity and that you are dating another person, not an extension of yourself (if that makes sense) so keep your interests and hobbies. Remember to keep working on yourself and your confidence so that if rejection does happen you know that it’s not a reflection of you, maybe it’s just not a compatible situation. Sometimes we can put the other person on such a high pedestal that our whole world becomes about them, working on confidence and your own self development can help to keep you on an even keel. 

Good luck :flowers:

Leila

 

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Thanks for the advice everyone 

im used to being rejected. Every girl I've tried to date ended up in rejection so I'm used to it. Lol

it just sucks that I've never had a long term relationship. Just two one night stands which isn't very emotionally fulfilling. Especially when your drunk lol

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