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Maxim89

Coping with overthinking and insecurities

11 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post  

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Hi all,

I wanted to ask your advice on my situation.

I'm 28 years old, and I have been struggling with depression on and off since my early teens. I have a very analytical mind which makes me overthink everything and I catch myself daydreaming more often than not. When I have a depressive episode, these daydreams turn into destructive nightmarish thoughts. Do you know any ways, psychotherapeutical or anecdotal, in which I can address this?

Another question is what's the best way of addressing insecurities. I'm generally quite insecure about my own value, even though I have a STEM masters degree, have average people skills, get out of the house regularly, work out, etc. I feel like all I've done in life is trying to prove my insecurities wrong, but they're really destroying me and talking me down on every turn. I can't land a job, can't commit to a relationship, keep pushing away friends. My thoughs have sabotaged most of my life, and in the past 3 months I have lost almost everything and ended up almost completely alone. I feel this has driven me to the brink of insanity and I really need some advice.

I hope you can help me address these issues.

Cheers!

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Posted · Report post  

Welcome to our forum.

Hopefully we can share some insights.

Our psyches really do play awful tricks and maybe we should play some clever tricks right back.

I constantly remind myself to metaphorically turn my back on the deep, dark, dangerous, depression cave.

I have to somehow take charge of my destructive thoughts.

I insist no matter how deep and lost we find ourselves there is always a way out of the darkness.

Stick with us and stick with yourself.

Oscar.

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Posted · Report post  

Hi Oscar, 

thanks for taking your time to reply.

I was wondering if you know any specific ways to actually turn my back on deep dark dangerous cave. Cos I know there's a way out, I'm just trying to change the way I think, so I can address this matter more constructively. 

Anything from excersizes to do or articles to read?
Thanks in advance!

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Dunno if you like his style, but I love Mark Manson's work/ thinky approach for people who like to overthink stuff.

He wrote a good blog post about the 5 best books for dealing with anxiety and depression (his list of favourites).

I pretty much agree with that list and I love his sense of humour.

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I'm a big believer in the power of metaphors or as I like to call them: MEDaphors.

I know it sounds a little bit strange but I feel depression is a natural condition/formation/resource.

I like to invoke the cave metaphor for depression.

In nature caves are created by erosion,stress,upheaval.(sound familiar?)

There are more  implications of the cave metaphor I find helpful.

The idea is to take something so negative and turn it around into something positive.

Essentially it's the old adage: It is better to light a (metaphorical) candle than to curse the (metaphorical) darkness.

If you are interested I can go into more detail about the cave metaphor.

Maybe it can be food for thought.

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On 14-3-2018 at 8:26 PM, Sophy said:

Dunno if you like his style, but I love Mark Manson's work/ thinky approach for people who like to overthink stuff.

He wrote a good blog post about the 5 best books for dealing with anxiety and depression (his list of favourites).

I pretty much agree with that list and I love his sense of humour.

Hi Sophiy, thanks, I have been recommended his latest book on several occasions, I'm still getting to reading it. Right now I'm reading 12 rules for life by my personal hero Jordan Peterson.

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You sound pretty much the same as me. I'm sorry I don't have much to offer in terms of help, all I really have is my solidarity. I've struggled with depression and anxiety - and all of their associated overthinking and insecurities - for most of my life, and I'm only 30 right now. I'm right there with you in feeling like I've lost everything in my life and feeling completely alone. I wish I could offer you some advice!

I'm actually in the process of reading Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a **** right now. It's definitely an enlightening read and does provide some food for thought about choosing what matters most to you and how to modify what you care about in order to get the most from your life. I love his writing style. I'm not sure how to put it all into practice in my life yet, especially with this black, depressive cloud hanging over me, but it does have the potential to change the way you think about your life.

I hope you're able to find some insight and help here! Have you considered therapy to develop some coping skills? I haven't gone that route yet, I'm only seeing a psychiatrist right now, but I know it can be very helpful in correcting troublesome thought patterns.

Best of luck to you! Reach out whenever you need to.

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Thanks for your interest Maxim89.

The parallels between depression and a cave to me have been very striking.

Every cave and depression is unique.

The ENTRANCE to a cave also serves as the EXIT.

Caves are better for temporary shelter rather than long-term residence.

Trying to figure out how a cave was formed doesn't change the cave. ( I compare this to endless therapy ).

Caves can be fascinating, comforting and starkly beautiful but at the same time very dangerous. ( Not a place to wander around foolishly ).

 

Caves are useful for storage. Unwanted, unneeded, painful and harmful memories can be consigned or stored in deep and nearly inaccessible pits. Precious thoughts and treasured memories are best stored near the ENTRANCE/EXIT.

Attempting to fill in a cave creates a hole (depression) somewhere else.

I know this is a lot to chew on but anything is better than being lost inside of oneself.

I'm always here to discuss the wide, wide, wild world of metaphors.

Oscar the not grouch.

 

 

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Hi, I can relate to your problem a lot. I am also a very very analytical person, I suffer from OCD and a bunch of anxiety disorders. I see it this way, I tend to overanalyze everything so I can shelter myself from the world, so it keeps me safe. But at the same time it isolates me and harms me way more. So overanalyzing is linked with my insecurities, I overanalyze so I don't face my fears.

The way that it seems to fix the problem somehow is to face my fears, this will help to reduce my anxiety and by doing this I can enjoy the moment without daydreaming and ruminating about everything. But facing fears or reducing anxiety is a gradual thing, step by step and by stoping the avoidance. It is not easy, I remember a time when every time I went outside my house I detached myself from reality and ruminate over anything. This was my way to avoid my problems, primarily my way to avoid social interaction caused by my social anxiety disorder.

Btw I also find Jordan Peterson to be a personal hero of mine, he is genuinely a good person. Also there are some really good posts in this thread.

Hope I may have helped a little, I still struggle with this issue myself but I think I have made some progress thanks to CBT.

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We are all trapped in the fabrications of our own mind. Sometimes we must face the demons within ourselves to find the angels of our better nature. 

Find your strengths, focus on your weaknesses. And try to build from there. Good luck friend. 

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