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Searching For My Identity At 27


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Hi all.  Hope everyone is doing well.

I have felt quite lost.

When I was a kid, everything was super settled and happy.   I had school, and then I came home and played with my toys and video games.   This lasted until I was like 20/21.   I didn't have a care in the world.... I just wanted to have fun.   And I did.   It was a wonderful life.

Suddenly, I'm an adult.    And responsibility sets in.   I have a love/hate relationship with video games now.   They're fun, but they feel like a waste of time and I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything.   It'd be a different story if I were involved with the game industry, writing game reviews, or doing YouTube about games for a living.    But alas, I haven't found those opportunities yet....so games largely have felt like a waste of time.

Unfortunately, I have felt like I have very little to replace games with.    I don't generally enjoy going to the movies, going to restaurants, going to the theater, bars, etc.    I don't enjoy socializing much.   And I don't even enjoy dating, for the most part.   So I generally have felt like a lost soul in this adult world.    Either I've felt like a manchild who refuses to grow up OR I've felt uncomfortable in my adult role.   

Random aside:   I just impulsively bought a video game for 12 dollars- a minimal amount of cash.   Obviously, I need to let it go- I can't change the past.    But it feels like such a waste of money....

Edited by Kabuto
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Honestly its just because you have never given yourself the time to explore what you really like. You've stayed in your comfort zone and have done the same things most of your life so video games is all you know and feel comfortable with because that primarily what you've done for enjoyment. Maybe you should try taking the time to do some research on other things you might enjoy and see what time of classes or programs or jobs you can pick up based on your new found research. I think finding yourself is all about actively seeking out new activities and taking the time to research to see what is out there in the world. There is nothing wrong with playing video games at all!! Its ok at any age for people to play and enjoy them but the fact that you feel guilty playing them is just a sign that you feel like your life is not complete yet and you want something more. Just take the first step and do some research on what that something might be.  I know its easier said then done but its also way easier to keep doing what we always do and not go out of our way to seek more. I wish you best of luck! 

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Hello, I am sorry that you are struggling with this. It sounds very painful and confusing, and, it is something I can relate to in my own way even if I don't play video games. I think that any safe and legal hobby/activity is fine to do as long as we manage our time and make sure that we do a variety of things. For me, I am pretty addicted to writing. I have written two books and am working on two more. I really don't know what to do with my life either.What I would say to you, is to find a job that you love to do, and to keep working on your dream as much as you can in all of your free time. Never give up on your dreams. You don't have to be social to be happy. There are many eccentrics out there who love to just do what they love, and it doesn't NEED to involve others.Sometimes, your own company is the best kind :)

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I've played video games since I was small, and also eventually started to feel that it was wasteful. I played "hardcore" in MMOs for a while, too. I haven't stopped entirely, but I did stop playing with people who treated the games like a job, or who were overly concerned with ranking, etc.

I don't think you need to remove video games from your life, but investing in other long-term activities can help. There's a big difference between watching movies, eating out at restaurants, etc, and learning how to play a musical instrument, learning home improvement skills, doing volunteer work, writing stories and novels, or taking care of animals.

Just things that allow you to explore what you value, engage with things outside of the game world, and find things you care about. You don't have to like all of it, maybe you prefer family to friendship and dating or bookstores to theaters.

There are some growing pains, but I think everyone has interests and an identity outside of games if they dig for it.

Edited by Bebop
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