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ToGro

Suicidal Thoughts VS being suicidal?

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Hello, I am new to this site so if this question is in the wrong place please move it to the appropriate place. My question is this: Is there a difference between suicidal thoughts and BEING suicidal? If so, what does "BEING" suicidal mean as opposed to just having thoughts. Here is my situation in short. I think about suicide every day. I imagine myself doing it. I have even researched the "best" ways. I have 3 "methods of choice" to choose from if I decided to actually do it. I've even bought things that would aid the process if I decided to do it. When I get real frustrated over something, those are my automatic "go to" thoughts for peace and comfort. I haven't actually "made a decision" to DO it; but I often think to myself, "why don't you just do it and everything will go away". Since I have not "made the decision" to actually follow through with it (yet?) does that technically mean I am not actually suicidal? I am confused on this.

Thanks for any and all info.

Again, if this is in the wrong place; I apologize.

Edited by ToGro

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Are you in your teens or early 20s? Just get a real strong vibe that you're in your teens and I'm curious.

You created an escape fantasy to cope with your reality, sounds to me. Suicidal ideation could lead to suicidality, but it could also just go on for years and then disappear permanently. It did for me. Never acted on it. I planned. I fantasized. But I never felt a real, genuine urge to take action and do it. If you start feeling an urge to take action, go check into a mental hospital or in the very least, talk to family or good friends. It isn't worth it.

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Hello ToGro --  You're certainly in the right place to discuss this.  As a general comment, I'd say that suicidal ideation and making preparations are two different levels.  However, I understand how the ideation would be comforting.  Personally, yes, I've been there.

I think the stark reality is quite different and I'd encourage the other members here to share their experiences on that front, or you can search out their experiences yourself.

Like you, I've researched alternatives.  Time after time, the realities have helped discourage me.  The effects of suicide attempts can range from brain damage to physical disability.  Assuming you have those who care about you, such as your bf, the effect on them would likely be devastating.  Nevertheless, that's not to say I don't understand and respect the pain that's leading you down this path.

As comforting as you may find ideation, and difficult as it might be for you, I'd suggest you seek some kind of professional help, either a psychologist or psychiatrist.  Plenty of us here on DF have done so.

I'd be concerned if things progress to the level of, say, cutting or self-medicating.  I'd be concerned if you take steps or have made specific plans on how to suicide, particularly if you've chosen a date, time and location.

There are hotlines, too, to help.  Some are better than others and I've used them.  At my worst, I just keep calling hotlines, no matter where, until I find someone who will hear me out through the tears and all.

Meanwhile, I'd simply ask that you keep posting and sharing, ok?

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It worries me that you bought things to aid in the process.  You might have a really bad day and you don't want those things around.  Nobody wants you to ever hurt yourself.  It's very dangerous having those things around you!

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I think you should speak with a trained therapist on this, your doctor maybe, though he is almost duty bound to commit you for hospital review, unless you get lucky and have a psychiatrist assigned.

look after yourself and if you are unsure, talk with somebody or check in.

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On 2/20/2018 at 2:13 PM, ToGro said:

Hello, I am new to this site so if this question is in the wrong place please move it to the appropriate place. My question is this: Is there a difference between suicidal thoughts and BEING suicidal? If so, what does "BEING" suicidal mean as opposed to just having thoughts. Here is my situation in short. I think about suicide every day. I imagine myself doing it. I have even researched the "best" ways. I have 3 "methods of choice" to choose from if I decided to actually do it. I've even bought things that would aid the process if I decided to do it. When I get real frustrated over something, those are my automatic "go to" thoughts for peace and comfort. I haven't actually "made a decision" to DO it; but I often think to myself, "why don't you just do it and everything will go away". Since I have not "made the decision" to actually follow through with it (yet?) does that technically mean I am not actually suicidal? I am confused on this.

Thanks for any and all info.

Again, if this is in the wrong place; I apologize.

Hey there. I can see why this is confusing. I guess that the basic explanation is that suicidal thoughts are anything that involves thinking about it without attempting it, while being suicidal means that you want to go through with it. I definitely agree with other commenters that, to keep yourself in the 'thoughts' category rather than the 'being' category, you shouldn't have dangerous items around you.

Sometimes, even if it's painful, these thoughts can be comforting, but if you want them to stay thoughts, you have to keep things that could make them come true away from yourself.

I hope this helps.

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