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Hello,

I am a 23 year old girl, well at least that's my biological sex, and I am glad to be here, where I can talk to people who have similar feelings.

I don't know if I am transgender, but there is a good chance. I have not spoken with anyone about this (expect for my mother), as most people DO NOT understand it

and give you odd looks or who just feel uncomfortable discussing this topic.

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Hello,

I am a 23 year old girl, well at least that's my biological sex, and I am glad to be here, where I can talk to people who have similar feelings.

I don't know if I am transgender, but there is a good chance. I have not spoken with anyone about this (expect for my mother), as most people DO NOT understand it

and give you odd looks or who just feel uncomfortable discussing this topic.

Hi and Welcome Theia

You will definitely get a lot of support here, as you are among peers that do understand.

I am glad that you found us, so that you can talk comfortably and safely about who you are.

Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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Hi! I'm new here on this site and I just wanted to say that I'm excited to know that there is a specific GLBTI forum here! So, to initially introduce myself, I thought I would just cut and paste the introduction I gave to the main forum for newbies. Hope that is okay! I will post more after this and I look forward to reading about you all. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everyone, my name is Louisa and I'm 32 from Australia. I divorced from my husband 2 years ago, have 3 kids, I'm in the health field, and I live with my female partner who I love dearly.

All of my life I have suffered anxiety but I didn't really realise that I had a disorder until now (which shocks me because I'm educated and in the health field!). I have slipped into another phase of depression and panic attacks and once again, nearly losing my job. I realise as I'm looking back that every job I have had, I have let anxiety attacks lead me to quit, even when I have loved that job. After reading up on the different disorders, I am convinced that I have specific social anxiety disorder. Meaning, I do not fear all social encounters, but specifically ones that involve confrontation or with authority figures, and I panic for weeks leading up to the encounter. I have come close to quitting my awesome job for about a year now because I can't face my boss. All of my days off at home are ruined because I am anxious and sick with worry about confronting my boss or people at work.

I have found it difficult at times to assert myself and stand up for myself, even to my mum and ex husband. I have recently tried to assert myself to my mum and she has triggered my anxiety again so I am scared to answer the phone and leave my doors open etc in case she comes over. I'm paralysed with fear at times of any confrontation, even when I know I'm in the right. A number of years back I felt scared to leave the house and I stayed in and closed all blinds and didn't answer the phone or door. I couldn't function because of fear. Most of the time, in friendly social situations, I am a very outgoing and social person, with a very extroverted personality, but in those circumstances I am a wreck.

In my teens and 20s I used to self-harm and use sex as an outlet of my internal frustration or anguish. I'm not sure what the reasons, but I was, only at times, very unstable.

Currently, I function well when I'm at home and being social, but the moment I think of my impending interactions with my boss and workmates, my mother, or my ex husband, I feel panic stricken. Every day I think about just quitting. I find myself getting excited about talking about ending my life, but I know I would never do it, even though I think about it every day. I usually absolutely love life and I feel excited about my future, but I feel trapped by this problem, and I wonder if I can continue like that. I also cry every day and my moods change so quickly lately. Not much makes me happy lately.

I was never beaten as a child, but I witnessed my brother being beaten by Dad. He scared and intimidated us a lot, though. He also rejected me continuously throughout my life. Maybe I have text book father issues? Not sure. Right now I have contacted a psychologist that I think I might like, and I am planning on seeing my GP in order to get some medication. I think I have waited long enough.

Welcome to all of the other newbies, and I hope that we all get some support and help here. I have felt totally alone until now, and I'm glad that we have sites like this!

Louisa x :shocked:

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Hello,

I am a 23 year old girl, well at least that's my biological sex, and I am glad to be here, where I can talk to people who have similar feelings.

I don't know if I am transgender, but there is a good chance. I have not spoken with anyone about this (expect for my mother), as most people DO NOT understand it

and give you odd looks or who just feel uncomfortable discussing this topic.

Hi Theia, I just wanted to say hello and that when I read your post, I immediately knew where you were coming from. My partner feels the same way as you do and we talk about it quite a lot. She feels like she is misunderstood and judged and that she has been born into the wrong body perhaps. She is unsure, but envies the male form for that is what she feels she is underneath. It must be so confusing and isolating to feel that way. But never fear, you are not alone and there are plenty of girls (and boys) that feel the way you do! Good luck and I hope this site brings you some comfort and reassurance. :)

Louisa x

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Hi! I'm new here on this site and I just wanted to say that I'm excited to know that there is a specific GLBTI forum here! So, to initially introduce myself, I thought I would just cut and paste the introduction I gave to the main forum for newbies. Hope that is okay! I will post more after this and I look forward to reading about you all. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everyone, my name is Louisa and I'm 32 from Australia. I divorced from my husband 2 years ago, have 3 kids, I'm in the health field, and I live with my female partner who I love dearly.

All of my life I have suffered anxiety but I didn't really realise that I had a disorder until now (which shocks me because I'm educated and in the health field!). I have slipped into another phase of depression and panic attacks and once again, nearly losing my job. I realise as I'm looking back that every job I have had, I have let anxiety attacks lead me to quit, even when I have loved that job. After reading up on the different disorders, I am convinced that I have specific social anxiety disorder. Meaning, I do not fear all social encounters, but specifically ones that involve confrontation or with authority figures, and I panic for weeks leading up to the encounter. I have come close to quitting my awesome job for about a year now because I can't face my boss. All of my days off at home are ruined because I am anxious and sick with worry about confronting my boss or people at work.

I have found it difficult at times to assert myself and stand up for myself, even to my mum and ex husband. I have recently tried to assert myself to my mum and she has triggered my anxiety again so I am scared to answer the phone and leave my doors open etc in case she comes over. I'm paralysed with fear at times of any confrontation, even when I know I'm in the right. A number of years back I felt scared to leave the house and I stayed in and closed all blinds and didn't answer the phone or door. I couldn't function because of fear. Most of the time, in friendly social situations, I am a very outgoing and social person, with a very extroverted personality, but in those circumstances I am a wreck.

In my teens and 20s I used to self-harm and use sex as an outlet of my internal frustration or anguish. I'm not sure what the reasons, but I was, only at times, very unstable.

Currently, I function well when I'm at home and being social, but the moment I think of my impending interactions with my boss and workmates, my mother, or my ex husband, I feel panic stricken. Every day I think about just quitting. I find myself getting excited about talking about ending my life, but I know I would never do it, even though I think about it every day. I usually absolutely love life and I feel excited about my future, but I feel trapped by this problem, and I wonder if I can continue like that. I also cry every day and my moods change so quickly lately. Not much makes me happy lately.

I was never beaten as a child, but I witnessed my brother being beaten by Dad. He scared and intimidated us a lot, though. He also rejected me continuously throughout my life. Maybe I have text book father issues? Not sure. Right now I have contacted a psychologist that I think I might like, and I am planning on seeing my GP in order to get some medication. I think I have waited long enough.

Welcome to all of the other newbies, and I hope that we all get some support and help here. I have felt totally alone until now, and I'm glad that we have sites like this!

Louisa x :shocked:

Hi and Welcome Threemonkeys

It is great to have you here and that you have a place where you can get the support that you need.

Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi,

I'm a new member. I posted an introductory thread in the new members area and like the other poster, maybe I should just paste it in here (it's a bit lengthy - sorry I tend to ramble). Just wanted to say hi. Glad to have found these forums.

Hope to be able to interract with you all.

Joey

______

Hi All,

Where to begin? I just discovered this message board tonight and haven't had the time to browse much but I wanted to say hi to everyone and introduce myself. I was feeling depressed today and decided to search for a message forum and found DF.

I am a 26 year old male from Belize. I'm also gay - which I'm comfortable with now, though it doesn't make life any easier. Although I am not "out" (close friends know) I've come to the point where I don't care if someone should find out. I did go through rough times dealing with being gay during my high school/college years, tho that isn't the main reason why (I believe) I began to suffer from depression.

I believe it all began when my mom (well, my grandmother as I grew up with my grandparents but I refer to her as "mom" because that's what she was to me) passed away when I was 16. It was a difficult time for me as it was my first year at college (we go to university at an earlier age here) in a new city, I finally began to realize that I was indeed gay, dealing with the religious aspect of all that (my family was very religious), and the fact that I had just lost my mom (whom I felt was the only person who truly made me feel loved).

I like to think that's when my bouts of depression began, but truth be told I'm not sure I was ever happy. Perhaps not unhappy, but not exactly happy either. The family basically fell apart after my mom's death (not that I felt especially close to them to begin with) and I began distancing myself from the congregation (being gay I felt like a hypocrite - eventhough I was still a virgin at the time, but according to the bible lusting is a sin, so there ya go).

I've managed to keep things under control but I do get so sad sometimes and I don't know why and I can't explain it. I tend to live soley for helping others and tend to neglect myself and what I want/need. I tend to have low self-esteem and I don't have many friends (busy work schedule doesn't help with that). I have thought about suicide on occasion, but never to the point that I ever thought I'd actually do it. I want to be happy, but I honestly don't know what it would take for me to be happy. Funny thing is, most people who know me would describe me as humorous - is it subconsciously to hide the sadness inside? Perhaps.

I do have a great partner and a wonderful bestfriend who both know I get depressed at times, but I don't think they know to what extent my sadness get at times, I don't tell them because I don't want to worry them. Although I don't have family (well, we don't keep in touch) and few friends I am not alone, yet I can't help but feel so alone at times. I have a good job (albeit a stressful one) and generally things are fine.

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough (I tend to do that). In short, I came here to be able to talk to people who can actually relate and not just sympathize.

Thanks for reading.

:)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Hi my name is Ella am 33 from Scotland and am bisexual

i have Depression , bpd and Schizophrenia

Hi and Welcome Ella :shocked:

It is great to have you here.

Trace

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Hi, all:

Just thought I would send out a quick introduction. I've been following the DF for awhile now, but finally signed up to participate. I'm glad to see this group is here. I'm FTM and started my transition in 1992. The transition went extremely well for me, but I still grapple with depression on a regular basis. It's currently under control with medication. :shocked:

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Hi, all:

Just thought I would send out a quick introduction. I've been following the DF for awhile now, but finally signed up to participate. I'm glad to see this group is here. I'm FTM and started my transition in 1992. The transition went extremely well for me, but I still grapple with depression on a regular basis. It's currently under control with medication. :wwww:

Hello, Fighting Survivor! :shocked:

I'm so glad you are here with us! You'll find a ton of support, friendship, listening ears and open hearts here.

Keep posting to let us know how you are doing and so we may get to know you better!

Hugs!

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Hi Fighting Survivor and :shocked: to DF

I am happy you found DF. There are plenty of members here who will offer you support and encouragement with your depression and gender issues.

There is a special forum called Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Trans-gender Issues which you may find of help and your contribution wound be valuable.

I hope you find what you are looking for. Is your depression being treated by a professional therapist?

Remember you can pm and Moderator/Admin for advice.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

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Hi, Fighting Survivor,

Welcome. We're glad to see you here.

Glad to hear that your transition well went and that your depression is under control.

I'm sure that your support and advice will be valuable here. And, of course, we're always here for you.

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Hi Fighting Survivor and :shocked: to DF

I am happy you found DF. There are plenty of members here who will offer you support and encouragement with your depression and gender issues.

There is a special forum called Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Trans-gender Issues which you may find of help and your contribution wound be valuable.

I hope you find what you are looking for. Is your depression being treated by a professional therapist?

Remember you can pm and Moderator/Admin for advice.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

Hi, Jim Bow:

I hope I'm doing this reply correctly. :wwww: Thanks for the welcome! Yes, my depression is being treated by a psychiatrist who also provides therapy. I really prefer that over the "meds management" style of most psychiatrists. I'm on numerous medications, and they must be tweaked every so often to keep them effective. I feel like a walking pharmacy, but I've been treating this depression for so long, I've come to realize it's going to be a chronic illness that I must treat just as if I had any other chronic illness.

I'm really very lucky. My first hospitalization was in 1988, and I've lost count of the number of times I've been hospitalized since then. There was a time when I was so depressed, I was completely shut down. I could not even communicate in complete sentences. The doctors told my family I would never recover, that I was too far gone. But somehow, with years of perseverance, support from family, and some angels working as mental health professionals, I managed to make it back to the land of the living.

Now, I am constantly aware of my feelings and pay extra close attention to any "red flags" that may pop up to indicate trouble approaching. I still have my "days" from time to time, but nothing bad enough to make me put a gun to my head. I'm extremely grateful for that. :sneaky2:

What prompted me to actually join the forum was a post I read that was written by a young man obviously in incredible pain. My heart literally hurt for him after reading his words. I've been in the place he described, and I wanted to offer some support for whatever it might be worth. The post was a couple of years old. I hope this young man has found some peace. I really, really do.

Hey, again, thanks for the welcome! I hope I can figure out how this forum works so that I can get the most out of what it has to offer and hopefully offer something that may help someone else.

Regards,

Fighting Survivor

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Hi everyone,

I've introduced myself in the New Members Forum but thought I should also introduce myself here.

I'm 31, lesbian, living in Ireland. I was diagnosed with Depression and Social Phobia when I was 17 and have been on medication, mostly Seroxat (Paxil), on and off since then.

I'm struggling a lot recently and have an appointment with a new psychiatrist at the end of the month. I had secured a place in college for September of this year, but I'm trying to get the place deferred for a year as I'm nowhere near ready for it. Also I'm hoping that together with the doc, we can try a different medication as I don't feel that the Seroxat is of much benefit and maybe some CBT would be helpful too? I really feel that my life is passing me by so I hope that there is something that will work. Fingers crossed!

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Hi everyone,

I've introduced myself in the New Members Forum but thought I should also introduce myself here.

I'm 31, lesbian, living in Ireland. I was diagnosed with Depression and Social Phobia when I was 17 and have been on medication, mostly Seroxat (Paxil), on and off since then.

I'm struggling a lot recently and have an appointment with a new psychiatrist at the end of the month. I had secured a place in college for September of this year, but I'm trying to get the place deferred for a year as I'm nowhere near ready for it. Also I'm hoping that together with the doc, we can try a different medication as I don't feel that the Seroxat is of much benefit and maybe some CBT would be helpful too? I really feel that my life is passing me by so I hope that there is something that will work. Fingers crossed!

Hi and Welcome crumbs_penfold

I am glad that you have joined us and I hope that you find something that works for you. CBT can be really helpful.

Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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Guest Ricky09

Hey all, I'm Ricky(09). I'm 19, have OCD and have gender (expression) related problems. I was born female but I think I might be genderqueer. I'd be happy to talk to anyone especially those with similar experiences. :)

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Hey all, I'm Ricky(09). I'm 19, have OCD and have gender (expression) related problems. I was born female but I think I might be genderqueer. I'd be happy to talk to anyone especially those with similar experiences. :)

Hi and Welcome ricky09 :shocked:

It is wonderful to have you here. Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi everyone, I'm here because I think I might be having annother breakdown. I'm bi-polar and I stumbled across this site today whilst looking for my local MIND office as I have a 6 week waite to see anybody through the comunity mental health team.

I'm pleased to hear most people seem to be making good recoverys on here, I hope that it may help me too. The last time I went through breakdown I had no like minded people to talk to so it would be nice to meet people who understand me and can help me as much as I hope I can help others.

Chris.

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Hello, Bipolar Chris :happy:

Welcome to the GLBT community here on DF!

You`ll find a lot of like-minded people here who can understand and relate to what you are going through. 6 weeks can initially feel like a long wait, but it`s not that long. And you don`t have to wait alone. It`s very nice to meet you, make yourself at home :happy:

Remember that you can PM a moderator at any time if you have any questions or worries.

*Big hug!*

ChrystalR

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi there,

I'm 34 year olds and live in Australia. I have been feeling extremely low and depressed lately and I really don't know why. I feel like something is missing or there is a black hole inside my heart and soul. The thing is, there is really no reason for me to feel this way. I have an amazing and loving partner, a good job and am studying exactly what I want to. I've been diagnosed with BPD traits and am yet to be fully diagnosed. I suffer from depression, quite bad anxiety (and like you, Louisa, I really suffer terribly when faced with difficult situations), anger and chronic feelings of loneliness.

I have recently completed two modules of DBT and have used up all my mental health plan sessions on psychologists, meaning I can't see any more until next year without paying lots. I have started seeing a psychiatrist so fingers crossed I can find something to help me. The DBT helped with the anger and SH-ing but not with the depression or chronic emptiness/loneliness.

I have friends with mental illness but it is difficult to meet gay people who are depressed and understand from this perspective.

I hope to hear from you. Thanks for reading.

Take care,

Sacred_Tears

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Hi there,

I'm 34 year olds and live in Australia. I have been feeling extremely low and depressed lately and I really don't know why. I feel like something is missing or there is a black hole inside my heart and soul. The thing is, there is really no reason for me to feel this way. I have an amazing and loving partner, a good job and am studying exactly what I want to. I've been diagnosed with BPD traits and am yet to be fully diagnosed. I suffer from depression, quite bad anxiety (and like you, Louisa, I really suffer terribly when faced with difficult situations), anger and chronic feelings of loneliness.

I have recently completed two modules of DBT and have used up all my mental health plan sessions on psychologists, meaning I can't see any more until next year without paying lots. I have started seeing a psychiatrist so fingers crossed I can find something to help me. The DBT helped with the anger and SH-ing but not with the depression or chronic emptiness/loneliness.

I have friends with mental illness but it is difficult to meet gay people who are depressed and understand from this perspective.

I hope to hear from you. Thanks for reading.

Take care,

Sacred_Tears

Hi and Welcome to DF Sacred_Tears

You certainly are not alone here at all and you will find a lot of support and understanding. I am glad that you have started getting help, it can make such a difference in the long run. Just remember that you do not have to go through this all on your own.

Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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I am a 23 year old women. I don't really feel that someone can be totally gay or straight. I've heard "it's a spectrum", and feel that is most accurate when it comes to most people. I am primarily straight, but I also have lesbian tendencies, which I am for the most part comfortable with, although I would like to explore that side of myself a little bit more. I love diverse sexualities, and think they should be celebrated. However, I come from a strict Roman Catholic family, who thinks all practicing gays will go to hell. Even if I discover that I am more oriented towards liking men sexually, I find it really hard to keep the truth from my family. I have told them that I am completely supportive of the GLBTQ people, they don't know that I hold any of these feelings towards my personal sexuality. I'm the youngest of a lot of children, so my parents are kind of old to be raising me. Sometimes I feel like old dogs can't be taught new tricks, and I should just let them live peacefully in ignorance, but sometimes, I feel like my brothers and sisters might have some of the underlying feelings towards sexuality that I have, and that I should speak up to make it more acceptable for them to accept themselves and possibly come out. I love my parents dearly, and they are very good people (generally liberal and open minded accept for a few religious things that they compartmentalize), just misguided at times. I'll probably end up living as a "straight" person b/c I am oriented mostly that way. Should I rock the boat? Or let them sail happily on still waters that don't run too deep?

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I am a 23 year old women. I don't really feel that someone can be totally gay or straight. I've heard "it's a spectrum", and feel that is most accurate when it comes to most people. I am primarily straight, but I also have lesbian tendencies, which I am for the most part comfortable with, although I would like to explore that side of myself a little bit more. I love diverse sexualities, and think they should be celebrated. However, I come from a strict Roman Catholic family, who thinks all practicing gays will go to hell. Even if I discover that I am more oriented towards liking men sexually, I find it really hard to keep the truth from my family. I have told them that I am completely supportive of the GLBTQ people, they don't know that I hold any of these feelings towards my personal sexuality. I'm the youngest of a lot of children, so my parents are kind of old to be raising me. Sometimes I feel like old dogs can't be taught new tricks, and I should just let them live peacefully in ignorance, but sometimes, I feel like my brothers and sisters might have some of the underlying feelings towards sexuality that I have, and that I should speak up to make it more acceptable for them to accept themselves and possibly come out. I love my parents dearly, and they are very good people (generally liberal and open minded accept for a few religious things that they compartmentalize), just misguided at times. I'll probably end up living as a "straight" person b/c I am oriented mostly that way. Should I rock the boat? Or let them sail happily on still waters that don't run too deep?

Hi and Welcome SonnysBlues

That is a very hard question to answer and the only person that can truly answer it is yourself. I would just say be yourself, who you are and if you should tell them, you will know when the time is right.

Trace

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