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Wizardwarrior315

Rediculous answer game

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All natural, locally sourced, renewably farmed, organic valium.

I just dropped a pint of berries in the supermarket and now they're rolling all over the place. Help, help, what should I do?

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Your housecat is not a lion, Miss Jar. 🐈🚫🦁

Lions are found in Africa and India, not in Europe and certainly not in your lap. And I'll thank you not to confuse and alarm the others reading the ridiculous answers thread with frivolous talk of lions. 

 

Now, I want to compose a formal letter to the dinosaur who is said to live in Loch Lomond. I wish to strike a warm yet respectful tone in my greeting, what salutation should I use? 

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Posted (edited)

"'Ey, dino! How you doin'?!" (When read aloud, the reader should assume the proper Brooklynese accent.)

 

Does anybody really know what time it is?

 

Edited by evalynn

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Posted (edited)

Only at midnight on New Years Eve or when waiting for a bus or a train.

When a Brooklynite says, "Hey, you wanna get some cwofee?"

Should you go?

 

Edited by Nightjar

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The proper way is to get an English person to make it for you.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? 

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If I learned anything from the many Tree Linguistics and Plant Sociology lectures I attended, it's that this riddle regards a forest purely in terms of human values and experiences. As if humans are the most important entity in the universe. Trees don't care about our hypotheticals or our problems, they never did. 

You say you're empathic and you go on about how compassionate you are. But if you had to face a dragon, would you make an effort to try and see things from the dragon's point of view?

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I think I'd be too busy trying not to be barbecued by its breath!🔥

They say "you don't have to outrun a bear, you just have to outrun your slowest running friend". But what if your only friend is Usain Bolt? Then what do you do?

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On 6/23/2019 at 10:35 AM, Atra said:

If I learned anything from the many Tree Linguistics and Plant Sociology lectures I attended, it's that this riddle regards a forest purely in terms of human values and experiences. As if humans are the most important entity in the universe. Trees don't care about our hypotheticals or our problems, they never did. 

You say you're empathic and you go on about how compassionate you are. But if you had to face a dragon, would you make an effort to try and see things from the dragon's point of view?

I know we've had a bit of banter here which so far I have taken as entirely playful. ....but with this you have crossed a line with me. As far as I can tell, I'm the only person on this forum lately who has referred to themselves as an empath and/or compassionate and so I'm taking this personally. I'm proud of being an empath and it is empowering to me (and to many others) to label myself (ourselves) this way. It makes sense of our distinct differences from the population in general. We are highly sensitive and quite often psychic, telepathic etc. We are different and quite often targets of mean people because of this. Coming together and calling ourselves empaths is a celebration of our qualities and our contributions to society.

It is very important that we are able to feel good about ourselves to feel whole and we are also important to society as we are healers and much needed in spite of opposition.

I'm (not really) sorry if this ideology is irksome or boring to you which you make clear when you say we 'go on' about being empaths etc.

You don't have to be involved in the conversation and I, and I am confident that other empaths would not ram their ideology down your throat. 

Please keep your judgements on my kind to yourself. I am sure you would not appreciate anyone saying you are 'going on' about your depression FFS.

Don't mess with the empaths dude. Nuff said.

 

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@Nightjar,

My quip was certainly not meant as a judgment of your or anyone's ideology. It was intended to be ridiculous, not ridicule. Having read your thoughts, I can understand how it could be construed as such and I regret that. Please accept my apology. 

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On 6/23/2019 at 2:03 PM, evalynn said:

They say "you don't have to outrun a bear, you just have to outrun your slowest running friend". But what if your only friend is Usain Bolt? Then what do you do?

Try unfriending Usain Bolt and quickly toss friend requests out then pray that someone slower accepts. 

Since finishing school I haven't owned a No. 2 pencil. Once they were so important but now, I hardly think of them at all. What ideas do you have for using a No. 2 pencil? 

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35 minutes ago, Atra said:

@Nightjar,

My quip was certainly not meant as a judgment of your or anyone's ideology. It was intended to be ridiculous, not ridicule. Having read your thoughts, I can understand how it could be construed as such and I regret that. Please accept my apology. 

Thankyou Atra, I'm so glad you didn't go off on me like I did on you.

I'm sorry too.  I just didn't know 😔

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Atra said:

Since finishing school I haven't owned a No. 2 pencil. Once they were so important but now, I hardly think of them at all. What ideas do you have for using a No. 2 pencil? 

Well they can't be that great or they'd be called number 1 pencils. I don't think we deserve anything less than number 1, don't you? We should send all the number 2 pencils back so they can be remade.

Are pigeons and seagulls just rival gangs who have an agreement not to step on each other's turf? 

Edited by evalynn

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It's all very peaceful until somebody drops a frankfurter. Then the terrible screeches come and then feathers, everywhere... 

I frequent a cafe where I take my tea and a muffin outside. Signs posted by the owners warn not to feed the birds yet a very aggressive sparrow appears at irregular intervals to steal tiny bits of my muffin. Shouting and waving away the sparrow does nothing. Nearby dogs do nothing. The sparrow knows I won't harm it as the social consequences are too severe. 

What recourse do I have?

 

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The sparrow arrogantly knows it can fly away.  You need to fight wings with wings. Get a hawk bodyguard to sit on your shoulder and protect you as you eat your muffin.

You need to get rid of an annoying houseguest and all your subtle and not so subtle reasonings aren't getting them to pack up and leave. What should you do?

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Tell them your cat/dog has a really bad case of fleas. You keep meaning to get the stuff for him/her but never seem to find the time. Oh well. 

Scratch yourself a lot and keep batting at the furniture as if to swat them 😉 I shouldn't think they'll hang around too long 😆

Can one live perfectly happily without a freezer do you think? 

 

 

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Probably, but you're just making life that little bit more awkward aren't you @Nightjar and not really going with the flow. That doesn't sound like you 😉

I've asked this before but I like the question so I'll ask it again, If God is a DJ, is Jesus like a backing dancer or something? 

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