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Numbnumb

Birthday blues

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I just need to get this out there because there’s no one to talk to . Today,s my birthday. I got lots of Facebook messages but not one call, text or other contact from anyone. No celebration. No cake. Nothing. Just work as usual. I feel worthless and completely lost and unloved. I know I isolate too much. But, I make an effort to celebrate others, especially when they are being left out. And plenty of people at work get cakes and parties. It,s symptomatic of my isolation and that sucks. Ive lost six members of my family to Suicide and have major depression and ptsd from the trauma of repeated suicides. I feel like I isolate to avoid coming off as such a negative person. Where is the compassion?

i see a psychiatrist every three months for meds. That’dit. People don’t want to know when you’re hurting. 

thanks for listening.

 

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Hi Numbnumb,

Thank you for sharing and welcome to DF - I am sure you will find support in this great community.  And Happy Birthday!

It is certainly understandable that you would isolate given the reasons you describe.  You clearly recognize the potential consequences of this, but when loss is a regular occurrence in someone's life, initiating and maintaining friendships can be extremely tough - seemingly dangerous, at times.  But you seem plenty insightful and are in treatment, which are both great signs that will prove advantageous as you continue to recover.

I wish you the very best and hope you find DF helpful.  I look forward to hearing more from you!

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Hi Numbnumb, 

First, happy belated birthday!

I can sort of understand what you're feeling. I spend my birthdays alone as I don't really have anyone to celebrate it with. The loneliness can be very tough to cope with and we try to figure out why it's happening. With what you experienced in your life, it's normal to be confused as to how you approach interaction with other people. It's usually complicated even without depression playing a role. You mustn't be too hard if things don't quite go as planned. 

Edited by Rickamateur

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Thanks for reaching out. Today was better, I was busy at work and actually had an old friend call from across the country and a couple of co-workers wish me happy belated birthday. I was able to do my gratitude list and work on putting focus on more positive things. I have a quote on my mirror.

”Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even your troubles”.

 

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