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Rattler6

Big interview in a week and I feel hopeless

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I have been at a job for a month.  Next week I have to pass a interview with the county to get a certification that I need to keep it.  I failed the first time but the failure rate for that is over 90%.  

I lost another new job last month which I really liked. 

I have gotten good jobs in my life but cannot seem to keep them.  I feel like Hannibal, being able to win but not in the long term.

I got my lifeguard stuff in high school but only worked one summer.  I worked my butt off in college but got very little for my degree in the 3.5 years since I graduated.  I still have issues with depression and learned helplessness.  As no matter how hard I try, no matter what I learn, I cannot seem to get much in the way of returns on my investments.

So I feel that I am helpless no matter what I do.  I cannot seem to get anything to last.

I have been studying this month and my bosses are confident in me.  But I am scared about screwing this up.  

I had a nightmare once of having to live at home for the rest of my life.  I do not want to stay at home and I am concerned about the health of both of my parents.

 

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Your anxieties about this are understandable.  But try and remember that you are not stuck in the past.  Things can and do change and your hard work is sure to make a difference in the outcome.  Whatever your bosses have said to express confidence in you repeat to yourself when you have those negative thoughts.  Say those things out loud because it's more powerful that way.  I had too many years stuck in terrible jobs with terrible supervisors and couldn't understand it.  The only thing you can really do is to hold on and believe.  And to remember that there are valuable life lessons during the difficult periods.  Hugs.  Hope to hear back that you've aced the exam!

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The future is not set. 

You sound determined and able to function (even thrive) despite anxiety and depression. 

Being put under the microscope is bad enough, but many times worse with anxiety. You sound really capable though and I’ve faith you’ll do well. Good luck. 

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8 minutes ago, bigtattoo said:

The future is not set. 

That's the one thing we all have to keep in mind! Our brains are amazing at recognizing patterns to the point that we see patterns when there aren't any. Failing 100 times does not mean you will fail the next time even if your mind tries to tell you otherwise. 

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8 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

Awesome 👏 I hope everything turns 

Out the way you want it to and some more 

min your favor

Things have been going pretty good since February!

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