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Tungsten Aromatics

What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)

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48 minutes ago, Rattler6 said:

Wanting to quit my big job (my last day at my small job is on Sunday) also because I am so bored and get so oddly stressed even though there is nothing to arouse that level of stress.

Well, give if some thought because life is short and there is nothing once than

feeling like you are wasting away.  I always evaluate my life on weather or not

a move will make me better or not and if it want than I STAY PUT.   

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1 hour ago, evalynn said:

1/3 of my life is spent on anger these days.

I feel you my friend and I too have wasted 

a lot of my days doing nothing

constructive but worrying about things 

that I cannot control.  Now that I’m 

approaching 50 I try not to worry near

as much and I'm learning to just go with 

the flow of life.  If I cannot feel something 

for myself I try to feed off of somebody 

else good fortune in life.  So, I can have 

something to celebrate and be happy 😃 

about

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I am thinking how amazingly powerful conditioning is.  I was raised to always look at things from the "could be better, but isn't" perspective which inevitably always leads me to sadness, anger, bitterness, frustration, despair, stress.  Although I have learned that the same information can be looked at another way [could be worse, but isn't:  thank goodness...how lucky I am"; and although this perspective always helps me feel happier, more hopeful, more blessed and lucky:  it is hard to overcover the deep ruts that prior conditioning has made in mind.

I guess what I am thinking about is how the second perspective requires that I lean against the wind of the first perspective.  Its like there is a powerful depressiogenic and anxiolytic perfectionism dominating.  It is easy to say "the perfect is the enemy of the good" but for that to become second nature is not so easy.

Also I am also reflecting on what a "rut" is.  When a rut is worn into a dirt road, it is hard to drive on such a road without one's wheels falling into the rut.  It takes concentration and effort at steering.  My mind keeps falling into the "rut" of "it could be better but isn't."  It is no wonder it also falls into the resulting rut of "how sad, how frustrating, how stressful."  If only the "rut" were:  "things could be worse but are not worse:  thank goodness, how lucky I am, how blessed."  I do not have the ebola virus.  I am not on fire trapped in a burning building.  I can still see and listen to music.  I am not stranded in the Mojave desert far from any road without water.  I am not suffering end stage bone cancer for which no pain reliever is effective."  If only I could make this gratitude my "rut."  If only I could make this gratitude my default perspective.  I keep trying and improving but it is long and difficult road.  

 

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15 hours ago, Epictetus said:

I am thinking how amazingly powerful conditioning is.  I was raised to always look at things from the "could be better, but isn't" perspective which inevitably always leads me to sadness, anger, bitterness, frustration, despair, stress.  Although I have learned that the same information can be looked at another way [could be worse, but isn't:  thank goodness...how lucky I am"; and although this perspective always helps me feel happier, more hopeful, more blessed and lucky:  it is hard to overcover the deep ruts that prior conditioning has made in mind.

I guess what I am thinking about is how the second perspective requires that I lean against the wind of the first perspective.  Its like there is a powerful depressiogenic and anxiolytic perfectionism dominating.  It is easy to say "the perfect is the enemy of the good" but for that to become second nature is not so easy.

Also I am also reflecting on what a "rut" is.  When a rut is worn into a dirt road, it is hard to drive on such a road without one's wheels falling into the rut.  It takes concentration and effort at steering.  My mind keeps falling into the "rut" of "it could be better but isn't."  It is no wonder it also falls into the resulting rut of "how sad, how frustrating, how stressful."  If only the "rut" were:  "things could be worse but are not worse:  thank goodness, how lucky I am, how blessed."  I do not have the ebola virus.  I am not on fire trapped in a burning building.  I can still see and listen to music.  I am not stranded in the Mojave desert far from any road without water.  I am not suffering end stage bone cancer for which no pain reliever is effective."  If only I could make this gratitude my "rut."  If only I could make this gratitude my default perspective.  I keep trying and improving but it is long and difficult road.  

 

My friend I totally understand everything 

you are saying.  I was born in a very deep 

rut of dispair and with very little hope 

of having a decent life.  My family had 

nothing of value other than a strong will

to fight for a better day.  Almost everyone 

around us 👀 at us as being low life.

But instead of getting 😡 off at my

surroundings and the deep rut I was

in it allowed me to fly under the radar 

and to fuel myself with Hope for a better 

day.  I Rocked back and forth until I 

got the momentum to use the rut as 

my weapon to conquer everything 

negative and to turn it into something 

positive.  It taught me to always look 

for the best in almost any situation 

regardless how bad it might be there

is always something worse than yours.

 I appreciate you for sharing with us your 

ups and down and especially your

wisdom to see the truth and the light of

realities and possibilities.  Thanks 🙏 

My Friend 

 

 

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On 9/28/2018 at 9:32 PM, Epictetus said:

I am thinking how amazingly powerful conditioning is.  I was raised to always look at things from the "could be better, but isn't" perspective which inevitably always leads me to sadness, anger, bitterness, frustration, despair, stress.  Although I have learned that the same information can be looked at another way [could be worse, but isn't:  thank goodness...how lucky I am"; and although this perspective always helps me feel happier, more hopeful, more blessed and lucky:  it is hard to overcover the deep ruts that prior conditioning has made in mind.

I guess what I am thinking about is how the second perspective requires that I lean against the wind of the first perspective.  Its like there is a powerful depressiogenic and anxiolytic perfectionism dominating.  It is easy to say "the perfect is the enemy of the good" but for that to become second nature is not so easy.

Also I am also reflecting on what a "rut" is.  When a rut is worn into a dirt road, it is hard to drive on such a road without one's wheels falling into the rut.  It takes concentration and effort at steering.  My mind keeps falling into the "rut" of "it could be better but isn't."  It is no wonder it also falls into the resulting rut of "how sad, how frustrating, how stressful."  If only the "rut" were:  "things could be worse but are not worse:  thank goodness, how lucky I am, how blessed."  I do not have the ebola virus.  I am not on fire trapped in a burning building.  I can still see and listen to music.  I am not stranded in the Mojave desert far from any road without water.  I am not suffering end stage bone cancer for which no pain reliever is effective."  If only I could make this gratitude my "rut."  If only I could make this gratitude my default perspective.  I keep trying and improving but it is long and difficult road.  

 

Hey Epictetus,

I have found an exercise which really helps me with this.... If you'd like to try this it's simple, but powerful...

It works best if practiced every day.

...During your usual relaxation time, take a few minutes to really think about what you could find to be grateful about today and commit to writing it down. I like to find 3 things. It keeps it simple and not too taxing...

It could be anything from having a nice cup to drink from, appreciating the view from your window or having time to relax or being able to get something done, however simple.

Eg.

1. I'm grateful for the motivation that enables me to wash my cup out each morning because it saves my dishes piling up. 

2. I'm grateful for the routine my fur baby gives me. The act of caring for her gives me a strong sense of routine and responsibility.

3. I'm grateful that I have my own space to be able to do yoga in today....

I usually find lots more ideas of things to be grateful for come flooding in when i get started.

With practice, it gets easier and easier.

Even if you didn't feel grateful at the time they were happening, the act of deciding that you are choosing to be grateful about certain things and writing them down seems to work and the gratitude becomes real.

It does for me anyway.

Maybe we could even make this into a thread...3 things to be grateful for?

Let me know if you try this if you haven't already.

Best of luck

Jeremiah

Edited by jeremiah

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I can't imagine me being here much longer.  Surprisingly the monster gets sick of being the monster.  It's been 40 years of being treated like I'm the ugliest person in the room.  I hate my life. I hate knowing I have no choice but to be alone for the rest of my life.

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