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Tungsten Aromatics

What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)

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I started out with 12 socks. Now I'm done to 11 socks. The other pair is just missing. I haven't even worn them yet. I bet tomorrow I'll be down to ten. I can't sleep. I can't find the flashlight to look for them. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm not going to be able to do anything all night except think about this. I feel like it's kil.ling me.

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Natalie and how much I miss her. The moment I started playing my guitar tonight I thought about her, how she constantly told me to never give up on my dreams. How she always pushed me to do more with my music. How much she believed in me. That was a much different time then as now she is with someone and for all I know never even thinks about me. Not only is she on my mind but others from that time come to mind. I've either seen them in public (rare that I even go out these days) or they've messaged me wondering why I haven't posted videos in years and so on. Everyone has someone, has this great life and here I am basically stuck. Stuck because I am afraid of having seizures, afraid of being made fun of and just angry at how I was treated by classmates from high school.

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On 1/9/2018 at 5:36 PM, JD4010 said:

Isolation. I'm isolating myself more and more. Especially at night.

I am too.  I fear going out every time.  I'm afraid of the world and everything in it.  I live in constant fear even when I'm hiding I don't feel safe.

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I'm going to try very hard to have a good evening and night. I will try not to freak out over anything my husband says, or ruminate about things that happened months or years ago, or lose anything, or get generally frustrated. I am going to TRY with all my might.

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My legs ache a lot. I hope the dog stays docile until my husband gets home, because taking her for a walk is the last thing I want to do. I hope I can get a nap in, because I suspect I'll feel better after some more sleep.

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Erm, that venlaxfaxine is a really $hitty medication to be on.

Talk about chemical castration, they ought to give it to repeat sex offenders

I can't see how having a low libido is actually going to help with depression - its a bit like eating a turd sandwich with a bit of sugar sprinkled on

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I can no longer judge people whose dogs get out of the house without their knowledge. Tonight I was cooking and the kitchen had gotten all steamy so I opened the sliding glass door less than a foot to let the air circulate. Then of course I totally forgot about it, and ate my dinner. Maybe half an hour later I hear a dog barking outside. I was confused as to why my dog wasn't barking back, and then I realized the dog outside sounded like my dog! It took way too long for me to piece it together, but I finally threw the front door open and my dog runs in like "What took you so long?"... and then acts like nothing happened. I can't believe she snuck out, and then was too dumb to come back in the way she got out! Instead she walked around the side of the house to get to our front door. I'm just relieved she didn't get hurt or bother anyone while she was out there.

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How much of a rude and entitled little s*** my student was yesterday.

Nothing interesting in the prize box.

Well you little f***** you dont have to take one when you fill in your chart. No i am NOT going to buy a specific item in your chosen colour right when your chart gets filled in. What the actual f***?

Other kids are grateful and love whats in there. They have a hard time choosing so how about you give up your prizes to a kid that deserves them??

Edited by Natasha1

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How much i have to do today. Overwhelmed. Wish i didnt have to work. I wish i didnt have dbt today. I wish mt dbt homework was done. I wish dbt was not over soon. 

I just want to sing right now. But i cant because of all the stuff tgat has to get done while working through all of the above.

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On 1/21/2018 at 5:49 PM, Tungsten Aromatics said:

Been offered a position in the NHS. Only 50mins on the train. Now to knock out occy health and start working!

I know this is a bit late, but congratulations on the new job

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On 1/24/2018 at 6:57 PM, Lady Mozzer said:

I feel so lonely right now. I can`t find my place in this world. I am surrounded by my family yet I feel so alone. I can`t explain it.

You stole the very words out of my mouth... I've been feeling very lonely since I moved states. If you'd be interested in talking or anything let me know I'd enjoy talking to you. 

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Thinking that I need to quit my vaping addiction and also how I've been putting off unpacking/organizing the million upon millions of boxes full of our stuff 

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