Jump to content

Few days ago i turn 29... and I am still single.


Recommended Posts

Ehh... Sucide thougs came back and are stronger and stronger. When i was 18 i knew that dating will be hard :( Low self estern, very low confidence... I cried for help for years, medication, psychotherapy(total BS - imo), hypnotherapy, typong on boards. Most of respnse were like:
- you are still young love will find you,


- focus on yourself,
- get a job, focus on carrier, you will find love when you are not looking for it,
- get a hobby,
- if you don't love yourself, no one will


etc, etc... guess what? Years passed and nothing really happened. Yes i did focus on carrier, and i achiverd quite well. 2 decend apartments, i have hobby - 2 types of martial arts + boxing... I am still going to have second citinzenship in few years, black belt in Taekwondo and Karate will achive probably in this year at least i will have an exams.
My confidcence?? I am confindente almost in every aspect of life. I don't do clubbing(i have no friends to go out anyway), don't drink, smoke, never any drugs...  Yet, if it comes for woman, I am total looser. No aproach skills, fear of rejection, and end up being alone in almost 30... No that time I aged badly, get grey and my hair have no more teen density, so look as it was no great but decend is no more helpful... 


I think i like myself anyway I did good in a lot of area, but yet i have this emptiness and no point of living.
I was telling myself i will never use escort, but now i am not so sure. Since i can;t have relationship at least i will have sex. When i was 24 maybe BS like "you are still young" or "love will find you" was alright to hear... but not when I am almost 30.


My sucide thougs came back :/ And that's not good. They are stronger then ever. I feel hopless and desperate for being such a looser if it comes for girls.  
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, ffar said:
Advertisement

Ehh... Sucide thougs came back and are stronger and stronger. When i was 18 i knew that dating will be hard :( Low self estern, very low confidence... I cried for help for years, medication, psychotherapy(total BS - imo), hypnotherapy, typong on boards. Most of respnse were like:
- you are still young love will find you,


- focus on yourself,
- get a job, focus on carrier, you will find love when you are not looking for it,
- get a hobby,
- if you don't love yourself, no one will


etc, etc... guess what? Years passed and nothing really happened. Yes i did focus on carrier, and i achiverd quite well. 2 decend apartments, i have hobby - 2 types of martial arts + boxing... I am still going to have second citinzenship in few years, black belt in Taekwondo and Karate will achive probably in this year at least i will have an exams.
My confidcence?? I am confindente almost in every aspect of life. I don't do clubbing(i have no friends to go out anyway), don't drink, smoke, never any drugs...  Yet, if it comes for woman, I am total looser. No aproach skills, fear of rejection, and end up being alone in almost 30... No that time I aged badly, get grey and my hair have no more teen density, so look as it was no great but decend is no more helpful... 


I think i like myself anyway I did good in a lot of area, but yet i have this emptiness and no point of living.
I was telling myself i will never use escort, but now i am not so sure. Since i can;t have relationship at least i will have sex. When i was 24 maybe BS like "you are still young" or "love will find you" was alright to hear... but not when I am almost 30.


My sucide thougs came back :/ And that's not good. They are stronger then ever. I feel hopless and desperate for being such a looser if it comes for girls.  
 

51

Do you have any female friends? I would say start there. Usually through them you can meet other girls, and/or date some. 

Career, two apartments, marital arts-you don't sound like a loser. You don't have to be some pickup artist-in fact most girls hate that and see if as sleazy. The same can be said of bars. There is nothing wrong with being single. You are free to travel when and where you want, you save money on gifts and eating out, and you don't have to answer to anyone. Not all relationships are happy. I'm sure you are aware of how many people have divorces-and many of those are people who married too young. I've got a friend my age (28) who feels like you do. All he does is complain about being single, and not having a girlfriend. Granted my friend is a tad picky on the type of woman he wants ,and I do think that contributes, but you don't come across as one of those guys. Being single isn't a bad thing. It's not some disease. 

You can try online dating. If you do martial arts I guarantee many women will find that attractive. Plus, on the shallow side, it probably means you are fit , which will make the dating game a bit easier for you. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would try online dating websites I used them and managed to get a few dates I was unemployed on break from my college a year and a half ago and got alot of replies I graduated my parents moved in with me and im in a ton of debt so I stopped trying to date at all because I was putting myself in more credit card debt and when I told the girl I was seeing, we need to start spliting the bill when we go out because my money was tight she stopped texting me I didn't care though because I started college again and wasn't in to her because she was to masculine,she told me she used to be a bodybuilder and would dehydrate her muscles and her father was a drill Sargent she was nothing like her profile so we just stopped communicating after a 2 months.

I don't think you would have problems since you seem to have your life together more than me especially since your looking for girls that don't drink or do drugs you could use the filter to find girls who don't drink or smoke.I think woman would be interested in someone who did martial arts. Expect to send alot of messages though and to you need to have a thick skin becausealot of woman ignore messages or will be flaky.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think I am total looser, In fact i was able to achive almost everything i wanted, and still keep going. Decend car, motorcyle, second citzenship are on the way, but I am an absolut looser if it comes for confidence with woman, being atractive to girls...
I have some female friends, but i that's all who I am. A friend, nothing more. Always end up in friendzone :/

If it comes for PUA from my expirience and observation I can tell with absolutle conficence that all girls will tell that they don't like PUA or hate this type of men, and then they do differently. I work with man who is very good looking, confident with girls, quite silly if comes for education/knowlage, drive black BMW, and slept almost with all girls he was hitting on. I know most of that girls and they all were saying  they hate this type of men, but yet he slep with them.  And don't ask me, from where I know... Like i said, i know most of them.


Yehh... Even when i was focus on work, saveing money for apartment, on back of my head i remembered advices and words like, "you are still young", "focus on work and love will find you"... and end up with "accept" being lonely, and lie myself that i am happy about it. Lonely days, lonely weekends, christmas, no family, no kids, no even sex. And i lost my prime years, youth... 

Don't get my wrong i do find a lot of positive things in not being in relatioship, hovever it is all vain. Seeing younger couples, much more confident in that area... being not expirience in sex, that all rubish :/ SO painfull only increse my sucide thougs...
Online dating... i tried that too. Maybe it was not in best time in my life, but still it was more fail then succses. 

Ehh rubish :/ 
 

Edited by ffar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't let the success those PUA type guys have intimidate you. Yes, quite a few young women will go for those guys, they let themselves be blinded by the fake confidence and success those guys use to get women into bed. For the most part it's just a show they put on, they're very insecure and will take out loans they can barely repay just so they can drive a fancy car that will impress women but guess what, most of those relationships are meaningless. They use women, it has nothing to with love and those bimbos that fall for it aren't the kind of women you want anyway. 

Prime years? You didn't lose them, for most men their prime is in their 30s and early 40s! 

Online dating isn't easy but if you keep at it you will succeed eventually, just be sure to give women a chance based on their personality. Not saying to date someone unattractive but someone who is down to earth, not a princess who's just looking for a free ride. Go for women your own age, not for the 18 year old party girls and you will be fine. Dating is a numbers game, you may have to meet 10 or even 100 women to find one you're compatible with but as long as you're decent looking enough to get some online dates this should be doable. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi. Thank you for respond.

I don't thing about PUA tricks as empirical science anyway, rather psycholgical art, something like intterogating suspect, and tricks they use. What this PUA  have is confidence with woman. They can deal with rejection, don't afreid to ask out etc. Maybe right that this man i am talking about has this "fake confidence"(at the same time i would like to understand what it means have true confidecne), actually i am pretty sure that if he would lose his looks and material goods he would get low, but you how can you tell that all of this PUA have this "fake confidence"? You are wrong when you are talking about "few young woman", because it was not few but hell lot of them, and their age was between 18-32, and again they were not all bimbos, but nice girls, who i truly wanted to meet them better. Suprice is that almost all the time it tourns out that this dude already "had" them. Myself and at the end I finished as a male friend... I know his present girfriend. Very nice, polite girl, we talk quite a lot at work, she even forgive him when he coutch him in their bed with other girl. She is well educaded and 27. Very good looking and she could easly find another men if not him.
Relationships are harder nowadays anyway. They are a lot of honest, good people out there who can't find or build good partnership/relationship. Their relationships are not much different from those PUA hunters anyway.


You confused prime with woman's one. Male is quite opposite. I tried to lie myself as well that prime years are befor me, but i need to be honest that for men prime ends at 25 at least from biological point of view. And in my case, I am quite older already and like i said, I aged badly... few familly dramas did not help in last 2 years... but still.

Thanks for nice words about online. I truly believed in it, this was kind of my "last hope" and it burn out. I would like someone who is "down to earth", you can never know anyway untill you will meet her. Never wanted party girl...

Edited by ffar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...