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The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)


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16 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Hopeless, empty, unloved, really sad and emotional... :broken_heart:

I also think life is meaningless, full of sadness and gloom... Not saying it is, but I've been feeling this way for years! It will never end... Also, I used to believe in miracles and hope... Not anymore...

Is life really worth living without hope? Not many will think so... :broken_heart: 

Sorry, babyxgoth, I hope this turns around for you. You have to have hope in life to hold on... so hold onto the thought of better, brighter days ahead. It does take effort to create the life and mental attitude that you want..... it takes deliberate effort to turn negative thoughts and feelings around, but it CAN be done. I have hope for you. Hold onto all those who love, cherish and encourage you. Hold onto the moments when you DO feel happier and more hopeful. Those moments can help you through the darker ones. You CAN shine in this life and will. I do believe in you!!! :icon12::thumbsup:

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10 hours ago, Misanthrop said:

There is rationale to avoid the world: is full of entitled "people" who are complainers intolerant of any kind of mistakes/oversights

Amazingly, I just got done having that conversation with a coworker. The pettiness of people is jaw-dropping. There's a person in our office who has to "rat" on everybody. She's very insecure and she projects it onto everyone else. Some of the stunts she pulls are truly horrifying. Work is miserable enough without having a person so full of negativity dragging everyone down with her.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

I have had plenty of jobs in my life.  They all end in the same way.  The people around me make my mental illness much worse to the point where I can't continue working.

I understand that completely. I'm on the verge of a breakdown because of the constant stream of BS coming at me from all directions at work. What little strength I have is waning quickly. Yet I'm stuck here until I cannot work any longer.

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13 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I understand that completely. I'm on the verge of a breakdown because of the constant stream of BS coming at me from all directions at work. What little strength I have is waning quickly. Yet I'm stuck here until I cannot work any longer.

If I want to work full time I am going to have to end up doing what my grandpa did.  He mowed 30 yards during the warm months and used the same mower for snow removal during the cold months.  He realized he could not work with people and survive mentally and I need to understand I am the same way.  I actually enjoy working but the people around me at normal jobs wear me down more every day.  If I work with people I will have a breakdown every time.  It is just a matter of when that happens.

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I felt a very brief glimmer of hope this evening during my walk. Not sure if it was the music, the cold air, the exercise, but for a little bit of time, I felt like I could actually get better someday. And then the incredibly cold wind smacked my face, I walked home, and went right back to the same old hopeless misery.

In the present, I am, as always, hopeless, bored, and lonely. But man! That moment of hope earlier felt nice.

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12 minutes ago, velvetpuddles said:

I felt a very brief glimmer of hope this evening during my walk. Not sure if it was the music, the cold air, the exercise, but for a little bit of time, I felt like I could actually get better someday. And then the incredibly cold wind smacked my face, I walked home, and went right back to the same old hopeless misery.

In the present, I am, as always, hopeless, bored, and lonely. But man! That moment of hope earlier felt nice.

I think the truth is in that glimmer, velvet!  In fact, I know it.  I hope you find it again, because that is the real deal!

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I'm a little sad, but not that much. (Probably will be tomorrow though - Ugh!!).

It seems my toxic friend and I are no longer in touch.  Might be better for me, given the impact she has on me.  Still, I would like some female friendship.  Not a relationship, right now, just a woman to hang and chat with.  I enjoy conversations beyond sports, stock options, and women's bodies, you know, - what I tend to get from my male friends.  Going to be hard to find. 

Edited by salparadise6132
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@salparadise6132 Thanks! I hope I find it again, too! And you, and everyone else here. It was just one of those moments, ya know?

Also, just try to remind yourself that it's better to be without those toxic people - it makes room for the good ones when they come around. I went through something vaguely similar recently. Started hanging out with and talking a lot to a guy acquaintance of mine. Became friends. And I guess because of a mutual attraction, ended up kissing each other. Then he grew distant, eventually telling me that he doesn't think he's ready to move on from his ex. Now I barely hear from him - if at all. I would've been totally happy just being friends! Didn't need or want a relationship. Now, no friend, either. Guess it's not totally similar to you, but still hard losing someone you thought was a friend. I get it. You'll find it when you least expect it, I'm sure of that!

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Overwhelmed. Juggling too much at once. I've just got to make it through the next 8 weeks and all will be better. Got to make sure I don't skip some of my  Klonopin doses. Doesn't help that the Klonopin and Lamictal combo seems to make juggling and concentrating harder. But I don't want to change any brain chemicals till I get through this.     

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I had an amazing night with my boyfriend and feel very much in love, happy and content. :inlove::hearts: We're moving in a week and a half and I cannot wait. We bought the washer and dryer from the former tenants and got a huge deal on it. They were expensive originally but we got them for 1/3 the cost. Hooray!!! Now I just need to pack everything -- UGH. That part is not fun. And we have yet another snow storm coming today.... OK winter please end already. I am SO sick of winter cold, snow and weather. DONE. Spring can come now please!!! I want to see the flowers! And budding trees!!! But no, they're covered in snow. GRRRRRRR. This time of year is always hard on me..... on all of us here. Everyone is sick of it and grouchy. But I'm too happy to be grouchy, really.

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30 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

I had an amazing night with my boyfriend and feel very much in love, happy and content. :inlove::hearts: We're moving in a week and a half and I cannot wait. We bought the washer and dryer from the former tenants and got a huge deal on it. They were expensive originally but we got them for 1/3 the cost. Hooray!!! Now I just need to pack everything -- UGH. That part is not fun. And we have yet another snow storm coming today.... OK winter please end already. I am SO sick of winter cold, snow and weather. DONE. Spring can come now please!!! I want to see the flowers! And budding trees!!! But no, they're covered in snow. GRRRRRRR. This time of year is always hard on me..... on all of us here. Everyone is sick of it and grouchy. But I'm too happy to be grouchy, really.

I'm so glad things are working out for you and you are happy.  You are right about the winter.  I can't wait for the snow to go away.  We have had a terrible winter by this state's standards but nothing compared to what you're going through. 

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1 minute ago, sober4life said:

I'm so glad things are working out for you and you are happy.  You are right about the winter.  I can't wait for the snow to go away.  We have had a terrible winter by this state's standards but nothing compared to what you're going through. 

Thank you Sober4life!!! I really am happy... it's been a long time coming!

YES, winter SUCKS right about now. Our second big storm in a matter of a week. At this rate, the snow won't melt until May! lol.

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9 hours ago, KidSurvivor2011 said:

Hopeful. My worthless parents died in their early 30s, and I turn 32 this year. Hopefully this year I'll be next, and I can finally be at peace. Born alone, lived alone, and will die alone.

 

- KS

Dang...you're so young. I'm sorry that you are so alone. But I'm happy you are here, my friend.

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I'm overwhelmed as well. @uncertain1. I've got far too much weighing me down in all aspects of my life. I'm trying to remain stable and functional for my daughter's sake but it feels like a losing battle. It has felt that way for a long time.

I'm way over my head at work as well. I've lost what little drive I ever had. I'm a crummy little sailboat stuck in the doldrums, drifting around randomly without a rudder.

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I'm overwhelmed as well.  There's no logical reason to believe things are going to work out for me or mom.  I always believed things would end badly for us.  I feel that bad ending closing in right now.  I am giving what little is left to mom right now.

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44 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I'm overwhelmed as well.  There's no logical reason to believe things are going to work out for me or mom.  I always believed things would end badly for us.  I feel that bad ending closing in right now.  I am giving what little is left to mom right now.

I feel for you, sounds like you and your mom are pretty close and she's been a major support for you. Hopefully the end isn't as close as you're thinking but it's always best to be prepared, spend some quality time with her to make the most of what you have left. 

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Been awhile since I've been around, busy working on guitars and stuff. Started making pickups for Stratocasters and it becomes a mess if you screw up because you have to start all over again. It's a lot of trial and error. Still working, still twitching and tomorrow I see a plastic surgeon to talk with him about botox to slow the eyelids down. Last month I turned 25 and bought myself a Joe Satriani signature Ibanez guitar. Had been several months of not spending anything so I decided to get one since I found a good price on it. I am just hanging in there I suppose. Still talking to Christine. Still working. Waiting to see the cardiologist in May. Hopefully the aortic dissection isn't getting bigger.

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