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The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)


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15 hours ago, sober4life said:

Today is my birthday.  I think this is the first birthday that I feel real hope.  For once I am actually excited about my future.

Happy Birthday Sober.  I hope you are having some fun.

BTW how is your mom doing?

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Frustrated!

  A couple of my oldest friends are accusing me off dropping out of their lives.  Truth is, I text one of them all the time, and I stay in touch ever so often with the other guy - who only calls me to do something at the last minute when his wife is away (he's one of those people who can't bare to be alone).

Both these guys live in mansions.  They can't possibly empathize with my situation - how I am paycheck to paycheck and so I can't go travelling to Boston and New Orleans with them, or even go to see a concert downtown in Toronto, anymore.  They have NO IDEA.  ****  NO IDEA what my life is like.

And to make matters worse, I explained to one of them tonight that I am OK with not doing these things.  I am OK with a simple life, on a budget.  It is not a rejection of them.  I am OK!

I may as well have told him that I believed in the tooth fairy.  Total incomprehension.

I think all of my life I've just hoped to be understood.

It hasn't happened yet.

 

 

 

 

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20 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

Frustrated!

  A couple of my oldest friends are accusing me off dropping out of their lives.  Truth is, I text one of them all the time, and I stay in touch ever so often with the other guy - who only calls me to do something at the last minute when his wife is away (he's one of those people who can't bare to be alone).

Both these guys live in mansions.  They can't possibly empathize with my situation - how I am paycheck to paycheck and so I can't go travelling to Boston and New Orleans with them, or even go to see a concert downtown in Toronto, anymore.  They have NO IDEA.  ****  NO IDEA what my life is like.

And to make matters worse, I explained to one of them tonight that I am OK with not doing these things.  I am OK with a simple life, on a budget.  It is not a rejection of them.  I am OK!

I may as well have told him that I believed in the tooth fairy.  Total incomprehension.

I think all of my life I've just hoped to be understood.

It hasn't happened yet.

 

 

 

 

 I'm sad your friends are so clueless about how different it is when you can't just drop everything and go travel! That's a huge gap in understanding, there, Brian.  Since they don't seem to know at all what to make of your situation and your being okay with a simple life...maybe they just can't express support, the concept is so foreign to them!

big hugs, my friend.

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17 minutes ago, Natasha1 said:

@salparadise6132

People just dont understand. They forget what it was like before getting what they have or even worse they never experienced it in the first place.

Hugs for you. I wish your friends were more understanding.

Thanks Nat! Big hugs singing, versifying, teaching, mountain climbing girl!!!!

Perhaps if I explain it to them they will understand that I am not rejecting them, but am living my own life within my own means?

They will either understand, or they won't.  It is what it is, and what has to be.

 

 

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9 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Frustrated!

  A couple of my oldest friends are accusing me off dropping out of their lives.  Truth is, I text one of them all the time, and I stay in touch ever so often with the other guy - who only calls me to do something at the last minute when his wife is away (he's one of those people who can't bare to be alone).

Both these guys live in mansions.  They can't possibly empathize with my situation - how I am paycheck to paycheck and so I can't go travelling to Boston and New Orleans with them, or even go to see a concert downtown in Toronto, anymore.  They have NO IDEA.  ****  NO IDEA what my life is like.

And to make matters worse, I explained to one of them tonight that I am OK with not doing these things.  I am OK with a simple life, on a budget.  It is not a rejection of them.  I am OK!

I may as well have told him that I believed in the tooth fairy.  Total incomprehension.

I think all of my life I've just hoped to be understood.

It hasn't happened yet.

 

 

 

 

I would say they do not want to understand.  Everyone seems to understand when someone is suffering from cancer.

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10 hours ago, duck said:

Happy Birthday Sober.  I hope you are having some fun.

BTW how is your mom doing?

She is doing much better.  They are planning on discharging her next week and she will be going to a rehabilitation hospital for a while.  She is able to talk but she is still weak.  She needs to get her strength back.  All signs point to a full recovery for her but it will take a while for that to happen.

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18 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thank you I need to get an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.  I love those!:icon12:

Dairy Queen is awesome!!!!! Sorry for the late reply but I really hope you enjoyed your ice cream and day! Sending you more hope, love and hugs :hugs::icon12:

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On 07/03/2018 at 2:44 PM, JD4010 said:

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't know what your situation is, but if you could get away from the worst aspect of it, would that help? Meaning, is there a way to escape at least some of the torture you are feeling? I had to make a move when I was 17 years old. It was a huge culture change. But it was a net positive because I got to experience much more of life. I hope you have some kind of options.

I'm sorry, but I can't change anything at the moment... I have to carry on as it is! Well, I am getting my passport soon (the picture actually didn't look as bad as I thought, at second glance!!! :biglaugh:) I can travel the world soon!!! I have that to look forward to! :happy:

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1 hour ago, duck said:

I would say they do not want to understand.  Everyone seems to understand when someone is suffering from cancer.

Initially... While people have more empathy for those affected by cancer than they do for mental health issues those suffering from cancer often end up isolated anyway. The first few months they get a lot of support but as time goes on many people cut them out of their lives because the illness makes them uncomfortable. 

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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

I'm sorry, but I can't change anything at the moment... I have to carry on as it is! Well, I am getting my passport soon (the picture actually didn't look as bad as I thought, at second glance!!! :biglaugh:) I can travel the world soon!!! I have that to look forward to! :happy:

 Yes traveling the world sounds like fun.  I think I am going to start doing that myself.

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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

I'm sorry, but I can't change anything at the moment... I have to carry on as it is! Well, I am getting my passport soon (the picture actually didn't look as bad as I thought, at second glance!!! :biglaugh:) I can travel the world soon!!! I have that to look forward to! :happy:

where are you traveling to? that sounds fun

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A little weird and confused and nervous and, I don't even know. Since my break-up, I've been incredibly lonely. The weirdest thing is that everyone who has reached out to me about this has been people from my ex's life. His mother, his sister, and just today, one of his old work buddies. I've hung out with the guy before when he came over to watch a hockey game with me and the ex. He's a good guy and when I told him in our chat that I'm going through a really hard time, he asked if I wanted to go out for a drink later. I accepted so that I could try to socialize again and I desperately need friends. I'm just nervous because he has ADHD, and when he was over before, I remember getting a little exhausted by his tendency to talk on end. I don't know if I have the energy for it! And I'm not sure if he's trying to date me now that I'm single or just trying to be a friend. Don't really care either way, no intention of dating while I'm feeling the way I am.

Why is it so hard to be around people?? I know it's good for me, but why seriously, why do these things always have to be so hard?

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@velvetpuddles i can understand how overwhelming it all can be especially with the adhd friend. I have diagnosed adhd and i know i can really get on peoples nerves with my neverending talking.

Maybe you can try some sort of activity to do with him and or other friends. Bowling comes to mind but i dont know if the sounds and possible chaos is overwhelming...it just might be a way for him to get some of his energy out without directing it all to you. Theres other things im sure but bowling was just my first thought. 

I tend to back off when there is more than one person so maybe if you have another person or two the attention pressure wont be solely on you?

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4 minutes ago, Natasha1 said:

@velvetpuddles i can understand how overwhelming it all can be especially with the adhd friend. I have diagnosed adhd and i know i can really get on peoples nerves with my neverending talking.

Maybe you can try some sort of activity to do with him and or other friends. Bowling comes to mind but i dont know if the sounds and possible chaos is overwhelming...it just might be a way for him to get some of his energy out without directing it all to you. Theres other things im sure but bowling was just my first thought. 

I tend to back off when there is more than one person so maybe if you have another person or two the attention pressure wont be solely on you?

Those are some good ideas! I will consider them if we end up forming a friendship. I don't have any other friends right now, so I'm really just looking for someone to spend time with once in a while and talk to.

I have social anxiety so I'm sure part of this is just me anticipating a catastrophe. We agreed to meet at a local brewery later. At least I'll be able to leave if I get too bad. I just get so anxious when I don't know what to expect!

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