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KidSurvivor2011

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

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I'm a bag of bones slouching in a chair. Drained of energy, no motivation to eat, can't decide what will stimulate my appetite since I lost it, I want to turn everything off, especially my mind. Friday night and soon I will hear laughter from pedestrians outside my window while I'm at war with my own mind. Everywhere I look, a painful memory charges in.  The oblivion of sleep is the closest thing I have to a refuge.  

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5 minutes ago, outinside said:

I'm a bag of bones slouching in a chair. Drained of energy, no motivation to eat, can't decide what will stimulate my appetite since I lost it, I want to turn everything off, especially my mind. Friday night and soon I will hear laughter from pedestrians outside my window while I'm at war with my own mind. Everywhere I look, a painful memory charges in.  The oblivion of sleep is the closest thing I have to a refuge.  

Sorry you're feeling bad, outinside!  And welcome to DF.  I wish you didn't feel the need to be here, but I am glad you are.

It will get better, please believe that.  All of us on here have been where you are.

BTW, you're a darn good writer!  Vivid description of a place I've been too many times.

Hugs, my friend.

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Been only three hours since I last posted here yet it feels like a lifetime ago. Mistakes I made earlier this week seem like a lifetime ago, an incident resulting with the police escorting me to the ER that was totally unnecessary but what choice did I have? I want that chapter closed but it seems it'll take a lifetime to get there. The routine of life and work blur by, I can't keep up and I tired of trying. I'm sitting in a totally dark room. It's somehow soothing, probably because the darkness hides everything, myself included. 

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15 hours ago, sober4life said:

I am too.  Every time I smile it's fake.  I haven't had a real smile in years.

Hi Sober, how are you doing?  How is your mom?

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16 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Sometimes I wish I had an evil streak, those types of situations call for a huge unfriendly looking Russian knocking on their door. What's really sad is how little the government helps us little guys, only option we have is civil court and that rarely leads to payment and just adds to the cost which is something deadbeats obviously know. Hell, at this point I'd be happy if I could at least write off the losses so I get back the taxes I paid on it but nope, only businesses can do that. 

I agree. It is very difficult sometimes to know the true intent of someone because Joe was a good guy for over two decades.  

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9 minutes ago, duck said:

Hi Sober, how are you doing?  How is your mom?

I am ok.  Mom is doing well.  She is going to survive now but she has many months of recovery ahead of her.  It amazes me how strong she is.  Right when I asked for prayers here she started dramatically improving.  

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I am ok.  Mom is doing well.  She is going to survive now but she has many months of recovery ahead of her.  It amazes me how strong she is.  Right when I asked for prayers here she started dramatically improving.  

So glad to hear this, Sober!  Best to you and your mom!!!!

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56 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

You're younger than me, girl!  And I'm not yet an old fart - ok, almost!

:)

Lol ok ok i have to let that go i know im younger. In all hinesty tjings have passed me by and im trying to do what i can to capture what was just ahead of me and i didnt know. Now there are restrictions.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

I am ok.  Mom is doing well.  She is going to survive now but she has many months of recovery ahead of her.  It amazes me how strong she is.  Right when I asked for prayers here she started dramatically improving.  

She is a very strong woman, sober! Wishing you all the best of luck :hugs::icon12: :flowers: :icon12:

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10 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

I am still heartbroken; but feeling tons better... Wow... I thought this pain (being rejected for the first time) would k-ll me! It hasn't yet :wub:

You will find someone there is no doubt in my mind.  You are an amazing person.  We both have a soulmate out there.  We just have to find them and then the love stories we have will be amazing!:icon12:

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I'm really anxious right now. My psychiatrist wants me to get blood work done before my next appointment to check for organic causes of my depression, so I'm going to the urgent care this afternoon to do it. I'm just irrationally afraid that they'll find something seriously wrong. Why can't I control these thoughts?? Why am I always so nervous??

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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

I am still heartbroken; but feeling tons better... Wow... I thought this pain (being rejected for the first time) would k-ll me! It hasn't yet :wub:

I'm a veteran of hundreds of rejections. It still hurts, but it doesn't generally drag me down into the ditch like it used to. Usually, anyway.

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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

I'm a veteran of hundreds of rejections. It still hurts, but it doesn't generally drag me down into the ditch like it used to. Usually, anyway.

I like how you think and how it doesn't hurt you as badly. 

I've been doing alright... sick of love so much BS too much effort and the same outcome all the time. 

 

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