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KidSurvivor2011

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

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3 hours ago, Hertz said:

Missing someone to the point of aching.

:console:... I know this pain when you actually feel your heart ache in pain and you are on the verge of tears... because of how much you miss someone or even pangs of heartache from extreme loneliness. It has to be one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced honestly. We are here for you *hugs*

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2 hours ago, Natasha1 said:

Hug

 

2 hours ago, Aki Sky said:

:console:... I know this pain when you actually feel your heart ache in pain and you are on the verge of tears... because of how much you miss someone or even pangs of heartache from extreme loneliness. It has to be one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced honestly. We are here for you *hugs*

*Hugs*

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9 hours ago, salparadise6132 said:

Hang in there, @sober4life and @Dolphin2013

I'm with you guys!!!!!

Sober, you are a great daughter for your mom! I wish you, and her the best.  All my appendages are crossed!!! Not literally, I'm too old to attempt that, but, I am so hoping for the best for you and your mom!

Dolph - hopefully tomorrow the outlook clears for you, my dear!  Oh, and pre-season baseball is almost here, so there is that!  Go Royals - at least until they meet the Jays, that is LOL!!!

Big hugs!!!!

 

Thank you.  Mom and I have always been best friends.  That is the best way to describe it.  We are closer than that.  I was so scared to let her know I was her daughter because I was afraid to lose her but since I told her everything we have been closer than ever.  She has been so supportive and loving to me through all of this.  I love her so much.  I just want to be able to talk to her again.  She hasn't been able to speak or even squeeze my hand since Friday.  I need to have her back.:sniffle1:

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15 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thank you she seems to be improving too.  The doctors are more hopeful than they were.

I'm still praying for her recovery, hope she gets well soon :console::icon12:

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10 hours ago, Aki Sky said:

:wub: Well I did miss your hugs :3 *glomps back* hope you have been feeling well! 

 

That brings a lot of peace to my heart I'll continue to have her in my prayers! 

 

This is something I really needed to read... there is so much good advice here <3! Love is something that cannot be rushed if there has been anything I have learned over the years is that true love cannot be rushed.... Sometimes I feel like I may never find someone who will love me back for who I am.... after six years of being on my own there has been many times where I felt desperate, envious, and hopeless. Going back and forth trying to seek out to be in a relationship to completely being fed up with it...

But you know it would be so lovely to have a special someone to spend your days with.... maybe one day... maybe I'll let fate decide that. 

I have been feeling well thanks! How are you doing? Hope you're doing okay hun... :hugs:

Aww thanks... After 3 FULL YEARS (gradually getting worse... Worst time of my life so far) of feeling suicidal, worthless, desperate, unwanted, envious, lonely and ugly over being single all my life; I'm FINALLY beginning to enjoy it! My King will come when I least expect it... Your Queen will come when you least expect it, too! Try to use the single life to find/better yourself... Most importantly, to learn to like yourself! Yes it will be hard... I've got a LONG way to go, too! :biglaugh:

Sounds cliche, but do things you love... Depression DOES zap interest away BUT you like MLP, right? Maybe make a MLP blog or fan art?? Anything to distract yourself from finding your future Queen! Let her come to you... It benefits some people to look for love... For people like us, who's tried and failed, we let them come to us! :wub:

The more you distract yourself, you'll feel a decreasing need to have a girlfriend... It does work!!! Well, for me... Hope it works for you, too! :flowers: 

Love you! Take care now, okay? Remember, the universe is planning your perfect soulmate Queen... Someone who's sweet, cute, polite, loyal and just all round, the girl you deserve! You WILL find her! She's out there waiting for her King (you!) *hugs*  :hugs:

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Exactly how I feel today...

Theory of a Deadman ~ RX

Wake up to a cloudy day
Dark rolls in and it starts to rain
Staring out to the cage-like walls
Time goes by and the shadows crawl
Crushin' candy crushin' pills
Got no job, mom pays my bills
Textin' ex's get my fill
Sweatin' bullets, Netflix-chills
World's out there singin' the blues
Twenty more dead on the evening news
Think to myself "really, what's the use?"
I'm just like you, I was born to lose

Why oh why can't you just fix me?
When all I want's to feel numb
But the medication's all gone
Why oh why does God hate me?
When all I want's to get high
And forget this so-called life

I am so frickin' bored
Nothin' to do today
I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)
I am so frickin' bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)

Can't wait to feel better than I ever will
Attack that like a kid on Benadryl
Chase it down with a hopeful smile
Hate myself, if I can go for miles
They say family's all you need
Someone to trust can help you breathe
Inhale that drug, but you start to choke
You follow the outs of an inside joke

Why oh why can't you just fix me?
When all I want's to feel numb
But the medication's all gone
Why oh why does God hate me?
Cause I've seen enough of it, heard enough of it, felt enough of it
Had enough of it!

I am so frickin' bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)
I am so frickin' bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I'll sit around and medicate

Medicate
Medicate
Medicate
Medicate

Superman is a hero
But only when his mind is clear though
He needs that fix like the rest of us
So he's got no fear when he saves that bus
All the stars in the Hollywood Hills
Snapchat live while they pop them pills
All those flavors of the rainbow
Too bad that don't work though

Your friends are high right now
Your parents are high right now
That hot chick's high right now
That cop is high right now
The president's high right now
Your priest is high right now
Everyone's high as **** right now
And no one's ever coming down

I am so frickin' bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)
I am so frickin' bored
Nothing to do today
I guess I'll sit around and medicate

Medicate
Medicate
Medicate
Medicate

I medicate

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Freaking out... I have to have my passport picture taken tomorrow... I'm still too ugly... I was never photogenic and look way better in the mirror... I'm pretty in the mirror, hideous in photos basically... I also wish I could lose the fat off my cheeks in one day, too... The camera adds 10 pounds... Help guys? Please, I'm freaking out... Please... That was unexpected and short notice and I am MADE to go TOMORROW... I cannot cancel it... :broken_heart:

@HeatherG @RiverLight @Aki Sky

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15 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

Freaking out... I have to have my passport picture taken tomorrow... I'm still too ugly... I was never photogenic and look way better in the mirror... I'm pretty in the mirror, hideous in photos basically... I also wish I could lose the fat off my cheeks in one day, too... The camera adds 10 pounds... Help guys? Please, I'm freaking out... Please... That was unexpected and short notice and I am MADE to go TOMORROW... I cannot cancel it... :broken_heart:

@HeatherG @RiverLight @Aki Sky

I am sure you're beautiful! You certainly seem like a lovely person. For what it's worth, my passport photo makes me look... special, to say the least. It's not a big deal; no one ever sees it, and those that do see hundreds and thousands of crappy passport photos every day. No one's there to judge the quality of the photo!

Where are you going? Think about the adventures that passport will take you on! - it won't even matter what your picture is like!

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40 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

Freaking out... I have to have my passport picture taken tomorrow... I'm still too ugly... I was never photogenic and look way better in the mirror... I'm pretty in the mirror, hideous in photos basically... I also wish I could lose the fat off my cheeks in one day, too... The camera adds 10 pounds... Help guys? Please, I'm freaking out... Please... That was unexpected and short notice and I am MADE to go TOMORROW... I cannot cancel it... :broken_heart:

@HeatherG @RiverLight @Aki Sky

You sound like me.  You probably listen to that voice in your head that cuts you down all the time.  The voice is a liar.  You are beautiful.

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39 minutes ago, babyxgothxx said:

Freaking out... I have to have my passport picture taken tomorrow... I'm still too ugly... I was never photogenic and look way better in the mirror... I'm pretty in the mirror, hideous in photos basically... I also wish I could lose the fat off my cheeks in one day, too... 

It's a passport photo, how often do you really look at it? :-) Mine's terrible too, even got an awesome pimple on my forehead the day I went to take it, woo!

But hey, you're a woman, if I were in your shoes I'd be on YouTube looking at make-up tutorials, there are many things you can do to make your cheeks look slimmer! Sometimes I envy you all, so many more clothing options and you can hide imperfections with make-up and shapewear. 

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4 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

I have been feeling well thanks! How are you doing? Hope you're doing okay hun... :hugs:

Aww thanks... After 3 FULL YEARS (gradually getting worse... Worst time of my life so far) of feeling suicidal, worthless, desperate, unwanted, envious, lonely and ugly over being single all my life; I'm FINALLY beginning to enjoy it! My King will come when I least expect it... Your Queen will come when you least expect it, too! Try to use the single life to find/better yourself... Most importantly, to learn to like yourself! Yes it will be hard... I've got a LONG way to go, too! :biglaugh:

Aki Sky- Your outlook on life is so intelligent! That is such great advice honestly !! Eventually you realize being desperate for to be in a relationship you forget that just because others maybe in a relationship doesn't mean that they are happy! Being single you can focus on bettering yourself and just like you said if it is meant to be you will find that someone in time. As I always say love is somthing that cannot be rushed! 

Sounds cliche, but do things you love... Depression DOES zap interest away BUT you like MLP, right? Maybe make a MLP blog or fan art?? Anything to distract yourself from finding your future Queen! Let her come to you... It benefits some people to look for love... For people like us, who's tried and failed, we let them come to us! :wub:

Aki Sky - Ever since I became a member of MLPFORUMS.com I've felt so much better when it came to loneliness... I abandoned facebook for online forums. Places like this I feel as if I can talk to others I can relate with so much better <3 facebook actually started making me feel so depressed.... after graduating high school and trying to respark old friendships.... the majority of my "so called friend's" ignored me and stopped talking to me after awhile I just got sick of facebook and started loving online forums better. 

The more you distract yourself, you'll feel a decreasing need to have a girlfriend... It does work!!! Well, for me... Hope it works for you, too! :flowers: 

Aki Sky - Ah yes so very true! Whenever you are busy it's hard to dwell on those negative feelings.... I've been having to wait till I work again for several reasons but I cannot wait till I am able to start working again. I've found that whenever I have idle time depression and negative thoughts start to dwell inside. Whenever you are busy you have no time to have those negative thoughts to dwell since you are so busy. 

Love you! Take care now, okay? Remember, the universe is planning your perfect soulmate Queen... Someone who's sweet, cute, polite, loyal and just all round, the girl you deserve! You WILL find her! She's out there waiting for her King (you!) *hugs*  :hugs:

Aki Sky - Thank you so much for such the kind advice and support I really appreciate everything you said in your post! :hugs:*hugs you back tightly*

 

3 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Freaking out... I have to have my passport picture taken tomorrow... I'm still too ugly... I was never photogenic and look way better in the mirror... I'm pretty in the mirror, hideous in photos basically... I also wish I could lose the fat off my cheeks in one day, too... The camera adds 10 pounds... Help guys? Please, I'm freaking out... Please... That was unexpected and short notice and I am MADE to go TOMORROW... I cannot cancel it... :broken_heart:

@HeatherG @RiverLight @Aki Sky

Darling you are beautiful you will understand that beauty is only skin deep... someone can be outwardly beautiful but be rottenly disgusting on the inside... and if I can be quite honest! I've had my heart torn to shreds by girls who "looked" beautiful on the outside but were so ugly on the inside.... my heart and eyes have had enough of being used and abused... Then you begin to realize just how much of a rarity it is to find a someone with a genuine heart <3 

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p***** OFF! So one of my "old friends" who owes me over $10K but refuses to pay anything back is going to cost me even more money now. Unless I obtain a judgment the debt will expire and I'll have to write it off for good but the judgment is going to cost me around $1K in legal/court fees!!! Sure, it'll be added to the total judgment but that doesn't do me a lot of good since she works under the table right now so it's not like I can use the legal system to get it back in the coming months. Just want to be sure I get my money back the second she gets a legit job or buys a car/house. 

Seriously thinking about reporting her to the tax authorities and police since she borrowed the money with no intent of ever paying it back. While that would make it even less likely to ever get anything back it would be satisfying to see her in jail for a few months. 

Edited by lonelyforeigner

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35 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

p***** OFF! So one of my "old friends" who owes me over $10K but refuses to pay anything back is going to cost me even more money now. Unless I obtain a judgment the debt will expire and I'll have to write it off for good but the judgment is going to cost me around $1K in legal/court fees!!! Sure, it'll be added to the total judgment but that doesn't do me a lot of good since she works under the table right now so it's not like I can use the legal system to get it back in the coming months. Just want to be sure I get my money back the second she gets a legit job or buys a car/house. 

Seriously thinking about reporting her to the tax authorities and police since she borrowed the money with no intent of ever paying it back. While that would make it even less likely to ever get anything back it would be satisfying to see her in jail for a few months. 

You should report her.  What she did is theft, and if you are not able to settle the situation with her, you should get help from someone who can.

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I feel like a ball of nerves and anxiety right now. 

I've been tasked at work with helping out the woman who handles private pay account collections/refunds/adjustments since my workload has decreased recently. I'm reviewing accounts with credit balances to identify potential refunds or needed adjustments. That's all well and good, but when I verify a refund, I'll need to call the patient/family to verify the payee and address for the check.

The thought of making those calls is making me crazy! It shouldn't be hard - we are giving them money back! Yet for some reason, I am so incredibly anxious about it! Talking to people is just...so hard for me. Ugh.

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I'm anxious and frustrated with my lack of focus in certain tasks. To top it off, husband doesn't seem to understand my difficulty because (in my mind) everything just comes easy to him. It's so easy for him to suggest things. Believe me, I've tried all this crap! He's just not getting through to me. No, I'm not being defiant for the sake of it! Why can't I get folks here to understand me?! Argh!! 

At least some do, sometimes, just frustrating when the one you live with seems to think on a different level and you're both in different worlds a lot of times. :/ *sigh*

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2 hours ago, Wizardwarrior315 said:

You should report her.  What she did is theft, and if you are not able to settle the situation with her, you should get help from someone who can.

Yeah, there's actually a law here that says it's illegal to borrow money under false pretenses or if you know that you have no intention of paying it back. If she tried to work with me I'd be more than happy, it would save everybody a lot of trouble even if it's only a token gesture like returning $50 a month. It's her attitude toward the whole thing that really pi**es me off, like she sees nothing wrong with it and has clearly shown that she has no respect for me whatsoever. 

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