19yo living with depresion for a year and a half. Its getting worse and I dont know what to do.

[nekitamo1234]

Hello,

I am new here. I have been strugling with depresion for over a year now and its getting worse. I am starting to lose interest in everything that I used to find fun and I am becoming more anxcious around people. This is starting to effect my relationship with my friends and family.

If anyone here strugled with similar problems, or continues to strugle with them I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Sincerely, Neki.

[nekitamo1234]

@Diego_Sebastian thank you for the reply.

That stopped working a while ago. I have had minor depressive episodes since i was in elementary school and Ive tried many (nonselfdestructive) ways to contain them, to keep my mind off of them, but it got worse a few months ago and I cant cope. I dont get pleasure or fulfillment from those activities anymore. I dont get pleasure out of anything. Hanging out with my friends drains me and leaves me tired and depressed. Sometimes I think that if I tell them that I dont feel well, they will see me as damaged and not spend time with me...

[nekitamo1234]

Im just so lonely.

Edited December 2, 2017 by nekitamo1234
Typo

[Camellia]

@nekitamo1234   I can relate to you quite well. I have similar problem like you. I lost interest in people and I don't have interest in almost everything.

Lost interest in people - I make myself busy with work. My only way to talk to people is about work.

I don't have interest in almost everything - other things than my job that I do, is to go for movies. 

I understand the loneliness. But for me, the people scares me more. I've been taken advantage all along. When I treat them like my family, they take advantage on me so hard till I fall to the ground (I have family issue). 

You're not alone.

Edited December 2, 2017 by Camellia

[iamnotforever]

I have struggled with severe depression for the last two years. In retrospect I think it started around the time I was 8 years old. But I only started opening up about it around two or three years ago. I let it get worse and worse because I was afraid no one would believe me. I was also living in a household with a stepmother who was psychologically abusive so I knew if I opened up to her I would be ignored and abused to an even larger extent. But once I got out of that house and opened up to family members that I trusted with my struggles I was able to receive help. 

Take my word , friend do not wait. Combat this with all that you can muster from the start because if you wait it will only get worse. Venting on this site is a start but you might want to look into booking an appointment with a psychologist and psychiatrist if that is possible for you. 

Stay strong 

xx. Leda

[nekitamo1234]

Thank you for your replies :D

It helps to know that Im not the only person strugling with these problems. I am feeling better today, it comes in waves of depression and anxiety for me. My girlfriend helped me a lot these few days. She had a similar, but more severe, form of depression and she understands the strugle. My main problem now is telling one of my friends or a family member. Im affraid they will see me as damaged goods and start to awoid me or (worse) try too hard to help me...

[nekitamo1234]

@iamnotforever I have thaught about seeking professional help. I might go next week, but Im not crazt about the idea of tellineg all my problems to a stranger.

[iamnotforever]

@nekitamo1234 at first telling them to a stranger is hard but then it becomes easier because this person doesn't have much investment in your life so its less complicated

[Wizardwarrior315]

2 hours ago, iamnotforever said:

@nekitamo1234 at first telling them to a stranger is hard but then it becomes easier because this person doesn't have much investment in your life so its less complicated

 Plus, doctors are bound by doctor-patient confidentiality, so, by law they have to respect your privacy.

[dad123]

The brain is a funny organ in that you can feel so bad and depressed very quickly. It locks you into nothingness feelings and drains you of everything. In the year 2017 soon to be 2018 depression research seems to have produced very little but medication. 

We know it is feeling and emotions and chemical imbalance yes we are still using old SSRI and SNRI medications since to 1960s onward. How long to we have to wait for a genetic cure.  

Dad123

[ericincalifornia]

Hi Neki--

I had my first major depressive episode at 19 (I'm 57 now) and have seen many other people experience the same thing. At that time there were no anti-depressants--at my college I consulted a counselor who encouraged me to eat better and exercise more. While those are good suggestions they didn't help--I needed much more of an intervention. 

The severe depression and anxiety would come and go in waves, and I saw therapist after therapist trying to get better, but wasn't able to significantly improve. In my 30's, Prozac was introduced. It changed my life. I didn't get "happy" but the medication put a floor on my depression (where previously there had been a trap door that I'd fall through so often). 

Ultimately I was diagnosed as bi-polar and added medications to manage this condition. I've stayed in therapy all these years because I think the combination of medication and therapy is important to help manage the really tough road that depression and anxiety creates. 

As far as telling a stranger your problems, I can understand your hesitation--it's hard at the beginning! But it starts to feel really good as you come to find out that all the things in your head are not so uncommon after all, that others have felt--are feeling now--the exact same things as you. 

All of us are pulling for you--you are not alone in this struggle.