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At a crossroads


Sir Robin

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Hi friends, it's been a while. Why, you ask? Well, long story short I hadn't been on the site much because I was so overwhelmed and overstressed by my job. Then two weeks ago, I just up and quit one day. They finally pushed me too far and I decided enough was enough and I walked out during my morning break, never to return. While this did remove a major source of stress from my life, it also caused some major anxiety until I was able to talk to some people and bring it (relatively) under control. 

So my initial thought was that, of course, I needed to find a new job in this area. But then I thought that maybe it's time I finally went after that "fresh start" I've been talking about for years now. I'm not getting any younger, so why am I staying here where I am (generally) bored out of my mind? Answer: because it's comfortable. And maybe that's exactly what I need to get away from.

I spent the past weekend at the home of my brother and his family. My brother is a psychiatrist, so I was hoping to get a little support from him. Alas there was none to be had as he refuses to even discuss my situation; he feels I should've taken a job I was offered a year ago that I decided against, and for good reason. You'd think a shrink would be a little more empathetic. Then again maybe it's just a "bus driver's vacation" kinda thing. 

While this may sound like the definition of insanity, I am seriously contemplating a move to Las Vegas. I'm sick of cold weather and I want to live somewhere where there's some excitement, and hopefully more opportunity to find a job. (Scratch that, I should say "to find a job that doesn't make me wish I were in a coma.") My other two possibilities are Florida or Virginia/North Carolina. The latter would be a nice option since I love Washington D.C.

The problem (as I tried to explain to my brother but the egghead wouldn't listen) is that at any given moment I am in serious danger of either A) being overwhelmed by anxiety and fear and/or B) being overwhelmed by trying to figure out whether I'm making the right decision. Some people have no problem with just pulling up stakes and moving somewhere and then, if they find they don't like it, pulling up stakes again and going somewhere else. I, on the other hand, utterly loathe moving, which is why I've spent the last four years in an apartment that I initially said I would live in for no more than a year or two, tops.

So I'm trying, trying to convince myself to get something figured out right away. I'm afraid that if I take another job in this area I'm going to fall back into my old rut and routine. On the other hand, the idea of moving halfway across the country without a job or anything at all lined up scares the bleep out of me and it's so much easier just to play video games and ignore the problem. But I also know I can't keep doing that. 

Any help or advice would be appreciated.

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