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Starglazer1

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It might sound repetitive or not original but it’s my state of being ...always. 

I exists .. I don’t fit in, even tho I wish I did. I sit at a table full of “friends” but no one knows me .  when conversation (awkwardly) starts ... the same thing starts to happen to me. First I get nervous trying to engage & listen....but then it spirals out of my control. My face starts to sweat. At that moment it’s all I can concentrate on. Not the words they are saying. I try incredibly hard to listen ...  but the panic builds. How I sound, are they wondering why, how do I look, shld I dab my face again, can they tell I’m sweating, bcuz it’s all I can think about! Im not listening, what did they say ... they think I’m weird now. I wish it wld end & someone wld interrupt us.

This happens to me daily in the grocery store, @ the playground w my kid, talking to friends I haven’t seen in a few. Going to the Dr’s, or any apmnts really. I absolutely hate this part of me...

 

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Have you talked to your doctor about this? Social anxiety can be treated with therapy and/or anxiolytics. You won't all of the sudden become a social butterfly and you'll still feel a bit awkward but at least you'd be able to talk to people without panicking. 

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Thank you @lonelyforeigner. I have gone to the Drs, they put me on Lexapro & Xanax. But I still have the same symptoms unfortunately. Sometimes it’s way worse then others .. but wanted to see if anyone cld relate. It makes u pretty isolated. Mayb time to switch up the meds. Few other net things going on too. 

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Xanax isn't ideal for social anxiety, it has a short half life so it's more suitable for emergencies when you're about to have a panic attack. Klonopin works rather well to keep your overall anxiety down, there's also some non-benzo options such as BuSpar and Vistaril which can be helpful, not as strong as benzos but they're not habit forming so much less risk of becoming addicted. 

The one thing I noticed with social anxiety is that the more I isolate the worse it gets, keep exposing yourself to social situations so it doesn't turn into agoraphobia. Most of the time the level of social anxiety I experience seems directly related to my depression, the worse I feel the more paranoid thoughts I get about looking like an ***** and people judging me. At times I'll get downright paranoid, if I hear a group of people laughing I'll think they're making fun of me which obviously isn't the case but that inner voice sure likes to scream that at me.

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I appreciate your words. You explained me better then I cld myself. I have been feeling more down. My doctor recently put me back on Lexapro after being off for a bit. Everything just came slamming back all at once.  (I’ve had a couple traumatic things happen that seem to want to replay, in full detail in my head anytime I hve a second to let it). Now I don’t think the meds are working the way they once did. I started to think I was getting worse.. edgy, no concentration, insomnia, and of course social anxiety that’s bothering me the most bcuz if I can’t get out.. well everything else just sucks more. Think it’s time to go back to the Drs. Thanks for talking to me @lonelyforeigner

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