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My brother wants to move back with his girlfriend at my parents house


GAJ123

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2 hours ago, GingerM said:

It doesn't sound like you *want* your own place. It sounds like you want someone else to foot the bill for you to act as if you do have your own place.

If you really wanted to move out, NOTHING would stop you. Plenty of people with less going for them than you (like myself), have done it.

No one gets to do "what they want, when they want" all the time. Grow up.

I'm not moving out only to have to work 3 different jobs & just barely getting by with all my savings going to waste. Not happening. 

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2 hours ago, morecoffee said:

I live in literally one of highest cost of living cities in THE WORLD and I can't imagine this above scenario unless the couple has massive bills or loans to pay off, etc. By living very frugally and managing my money very well, I was able to live completely on my own while technically in poverty. It's totally possible to rent a room on 20-25k a year.

My brother & his girlfriend together probably make around 60-70 grand or maybe even a bit more total together currently yet they still need to move to my parents house. 

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6 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

My brother & his girlfriend together probably make around 60-70 grand or maybe even a bit more total together currently yet they still need to move to my parents house. 

They MUST have huge bills, loans, child support, something that is eating almost their entire income.

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Just now, morecoffee said:

 

They MUST have huge bills, loans, child support, something that is eating almost their entire income.

They don't have kids. But rent for them is close to $2,000 a month. So that eats a lot into it. As well as car lease payments/insurance, etc. Not sure what other bills they have besides that. 

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2 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Amen! I still recommend moving to a cheaper state or city if your hometown is really too expensive to afford an apartment with roommates. I moved to a different country when I didn't want to (or have the ability to) pay outrageous rent and I managed just fine despite not having a lot of savings or anything. Heck, the first month I stayed in a dirt cheap motel until I found an affordable apartment. Sometimes you just have to go for it, take a risk!

Yeah it'll be uncomfortable with a minimum wage job but maybe this will finally give you the motivation to start working on a career rather than waiting for something to fall into your lap. The motivation to work full-time will also come pretty quickly once you realize that you're running out of money.

The mere fact that you're able to save money means your parents are providing you with a pretty comfortable life right now, they have been enabling your inaction and now that you realize that it may be slightly less comfortable you're getting angry. Stop feeling entitled, it's your parents house and not yours and your brother has just as much of a right to live there as you do. Get your own place if you don't like the rules.  You really need to realize that most people have to work hard for what they have. Stop thinking that somehow all the other guys just get handed a great job, nice apartment, and hot girlfriend. Life isn't easy for anybody. Some of us have more challenges than others but you're a smart guy and despite some health issues you're not disabled so you can do it if you really want to. 

I'm not really as bothered by my brother coming here as much after cooling down about it since it's not expected to be for more than 6 months at most. I'm still annoyed but I was expecting it to be for like a year or more. I plan on buying an iPad during Black Friday sales coincidentally as well that I can use in place of my desktop computer as well as just moving my gaming system on the upstairs HD TV so I won't need to be downstairs anyway outside of getting stuff out of the laundry room downstairs. And believe me if I had a lot saved up where I'd be comfortable for a long time on my own I would move out. But I'm not moving out on low 5 figure money saved up. I just have to choose something I'm going to get a decent job in in terms of school. 

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15 minutes ago, GAJ123 said:

I'm not really as bothered by my brother coming here as much after cooling down about it since it's not expected to be for more than 6 months at most. I'm still annoyed but I was expecting it to be for like a year or more. I plan on buying an iPad during Black Friday sales coincidentally as well that I can use in place of my desktop computer as well as just moving my gaming system on the upstairs HD TV so I won't need to be downstairs anyway outside of getting stuff out of the laundry room downstairs. And believe me if I had a lot saved up where I'd be comfortable for a long time on my own I would move out. But I'm not moving out on low 5 figure money saved up. I just have to choose something I'm going to get a decent job in in terms of school. 

Glad to hear you cooled down a bit :)

You do realize that you could comfortably move out if you have that much saved up, right? Having lived in both FL and northern VA I can tell you that in both states you can easily get a reasonably nice 1-bedroom apartment for less than 1'000 a month so your savings would last over a year as long as you have a part time job to pay for food/health care/etc. FL kinda sucks job-wise but in VA you would definitely find something. You don't have to tell me/us but ask yourself, what are you really scared of? Most people have debt, not savings, and they still manage to move even if they don't have great jobs. 

Have you made any progress with college? Don't miss the registration deadline! Also, I know you said it's online, is it a local community college though? Tuition is gonna be a LOT lower than University of Phoenix and the like and you'd also have the option of taking 1 or 2 classes on campus which I think would be really good for you, just to meet some people since the main benefit of college is often making connections, not necessarily what you learn unless it's something technical. Could also meet some women that way, just saying... 

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23 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Glad to hear you cooled down a bit :)

You do realize that you could comfortably move out if you have that much saved up, right? Having lived in both FL and northern VA I can tell you that in both states you can easily get a reasonably nice 1-bedroom apartment for less than 1'000 a month so your savings would last over a year as long as you have a part time job to pay for food/health care/etc. FL kinda sucks job-wise but in VA you would definitely find something. You don't have to tell me/us but ask yourself, what are you really scared of? Most people have debt, not savings, and they still manage to move even if they don't have great jobs. 

Have you made any progress with college? Don't miss the registration deadline! Also, I know you said it's online, is it a local community college though? Tuition is gonna be a LOT lower than University of Phoenix and the like and you'd also have the option of taking 1 or 2 classes on campus which I think would be really good for you, just to meet some people since the main benefit of college is often making connections, not necessarily what you learn unless it's something technical. Could also meet some women that way, just saying... 

I just want to be able to move out comfortably than to have to move to a completely different state without knowing anyone at all as well as struggling from paycheck to paycheck with no savings at all. I also have no interest in working 3 different jobs & 60 hours a week just to get by. I don’t want to just live to work, I got enough problems as it is I wouldn’t be able to handle that. 

It’s a nearby community college I have in mind, but I’m not sure if that’s the one I’m going to choose yet. I need to decide on something soon though. The psych I go to suggested online courses & that’s what I had in mind too. I really don’t want to be stuck sitting in a class for 3+ hours a day. I don’t have the patience for it. 

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3 hours ago, GAJ123 said:

I just want to be able to move out comfortably than to have to move to a completely different state without knowing anyone at all as well as struggling from paycheck to paycheck with no savings at all. I also have no interest in working 3 different jobs & 60 hours a week just to get by. I don’t want to just live to work, I got enough problems as it is I wouldn’t be able to handle that. 

It’s a nearby community college I have in mind, but I’m not sure if that’s the one I’m going to choose yet. I need to decide on something soon though. The psych I go to suggested online courses & that’s what I had in mind too. I really don’t want to be stuck sitting in a class for 3+ hours a day. I don’t have the patience for it. 

I wouldn't even go to college then, I don't know why they have online degrees it is not the same as trade school you won't just get a job because you put in the time to get the degree if its not something your really interested in and plan to do for the rest of your life it will be a waste of money. Part of college is working in groups of people doing presentations in front of classmates having debates asking the teacher questions engaging with your class mates. If your going to college just for the money, its not worth it in my opinion. 

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44 minutes ago, scienceguy said:

I wouldn't even go to college then, I don't know why they have online degrees it is not the same as trade school you won't just get a job because you put in the time to get the degree if its not something your really interested in and plan to do for the rest of your life it will be a waste of money. Part of college is working in groups of people doing presentations in front of classmates having debates asking the teacher questions engaging with your class mates. If your going to college just for the money, its not worth it in my opinion. 

Well, I need to do something though otherwise I’m going to be stuck working low wage jobs the rest of my life which isn’t an option. My issue is I’m unfortunately not skilled in anything that could make me money. I have no special talent in anything that I’d enjoy doing for a full time job. My best bet is to pick something that I’d make decent money in, a lot of jobs available in it, & maybe at least think is an okay job to go to everyday. I don’t know what other option I have to get a decent paying job. I don’t want to take up a trade since I have absolutely zero interest in being a plumber or electrician or something of that nature. It’s just not for me at all. I wouldn’t mind working in an office building on a computer or something if I’m making decent money. 

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2 hours ago, scienceguy said:

Part of college is working in groups of people doing presentations in front of classmates having debates asking the teacher questions engaging with your class mates.

Exactly! Considering that you don't have a social life it would really do you good to work on those skills, they're important for both your personal and professional life. Most type of office jobs require working in a team and college is a good way to prepare fir that. Working alongside people like you do in retail and working on a collaborative project are two entirely different beasts. 

5 hours ago, GAJ123 said:

I really don’t want to be stuck sitting in a class for 3+ hours a day. I don’t have the patience for it. 

What are you doing with all your spare time right now that's so much more valuable to you than your future? How do you imagine working in an office if you don't even have patience for the classroom? 

At some point you will have to make some sacrifices to get ahead in life. If you think that college is right for you then get a catalog and just cross out everything that's a no-go for you and then you'll probably have 2 or 3 majors left to choose from, do a bit of research and there you have it. Shouldn't take you more than a few days. 

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  • 1 year later...

To update this thread from long ago my brother & his girlfriend are STILL living here. So you can imagine how big of an f’d up situation it’s been for me. I knew when they came back here they were going to take advantage. I don’t even bother talking to my brother anymore since all he cares about is when things benefit himself. 

Edited by GAJ123
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