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All Plaid Out

Hella bored of feeling hella bored

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Hi! New member here! I'm a 25yo woman from the dreary UK, and I just reached out for pro help after years of on-off mental health symptoms of fluctuating severity.

I'm on Sertraline...only I've been off my meds for 2+ weeks now, because the whole "having to fit in monthly review appointments" schtick is new and clumsy territory for someone who right now barely has motivation to kick back with a videogame after work anymore.

Other than being depressed I also do DND (my current character is a foul mouthed Fighter called Clarissa) and draw, when I feel motivated.

I'm hoping to find a support circle I can lean on during the times I'm worried about burning out my (pretty understanding) IRL friends. If I can find depressed popculture obsessives, then all the better.

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Posted · Report post  

Hi All Plaid Out! Welcome to the forums, I hope it gives you the sense of community it's given me!

We actually have a lot in common: I'm also a 25yo woman (but in the US), and I'm also new to getting professional help despite having had anxiety since I can remember & depression a little more recently. I also take Sertraline and I'm on week two and things are going well so far!

I don't play DND although I love the Community episodes about it (if you're looking for a new tv show to try I recommend it, it's really entertaining). I DO however video game, although I only play Stardew Valley so I guess I'm not much of a gamer. I do enjoy watching my fiance play however, and he likes Overwatch, pubg, and a new game like pubg whose name escapes me haha. I actually owe it to him that I play Stardew Valley: when my anxiety started getting really bad this summer he researched calming/ stress-free games and got me this one because it's well regarded & very tranquil (which I can attest to). I know it's based on gaming style/preference but maybe you can look into it too and see if you enjoy it!

That's actually why I joined this forum too, and also to read about others' experiences & success stories whenever I start to feel isolated with my mind. Everyone has been very kind and understanding in the sense that they've been through it too and having this network has been truly wonderful. I hope you find solidarity here too!

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Posted · Report post  

Hello!

I am a 35 year old Swedish chef (Bork bork!) at war with depression and addiction. 

I played PnP RPGs when I was a kid, but I had to stop when my gaming group started shifting into those Warhammer games bc it was WAY too expensive. Still have a crate full of old stuff in my attic with my old characer sheets and gamebooks. Sometimes I'll take them out to remind myself of who I was back then.

What you wrote about burning out your friends is a fear of mine too, the ones that know how I feel are often too quick with solutions, sometimes you just need to vent and have somebody else than your walls listen. 

 

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

21 yo male here. I feel you man I feel you. It ****in sucks:( I'm laying on the shower floor right now dwelling in my sorrows. 

 

Edited by Tungsten Aromatics
Photos in vioulation of ToS

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On 09/10/2017 at 5:31 PM, all_riled_up said:

Hi All Plaid Out! Welcome to the forums, I hope it gives you the sense of community it's given me!

We actually have a lot in common: I'm also a 25yo woman (but in the US), and I'm also new to getting professional help despite having had anxiety since I can remember & depression a little more recently. I also take Sertraline and I'm on week two and things are going well so far!

I don't play DND although I love the Community episodes about it (if you're looking for a new tv show to try I recommend it, it's really entertaining). I DO however video game, although I only play Stardew Valley so I guess I'm not much of a gamer. I do enjoy watching my fiance play however, and he likes Overwatch, pubg, and a new game like pubg whose name escapes me haha. I actually owe it to him that I play Stardew Valley: when my anxiety started getting really bad this summer he researched calming/ stress-free games and got me this one because it's well regarded & very tranquil (which I can attest to). I know it's based on gaming style/preference but maybe you can look into it too and see if you enjoy it!

That's actually why I joined this forum too, and also to read about others' experiences & success stories whenever I start to feel isolated with my mind. Everyone has been very kind and understanding in the sense that they've been through it too and having this network has been truly wonderful. I hope you find solidarity here too!

 

My boyfriend showed me one of Community's DND episodes and yes, I agree that it was aces! Although...the one bit that threw my nitpicker self was the DM making all the rolls while nobody in the party so much as touched a dice the entire game. I get that the choice was probably made to streamline the process (and that the only die this group of one-time adventurers would have had between them were likely the unloved d6s stashed away with an old board game someplace), but it seems way tedious for the poor DM. At least throw some cursory spare dice around the table as props-! It was no less hilariously relatable, of course.

I keep hearing good things about Stardew Valley, I should look into it. From the barest little I know about it, it looks like a cross between Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon. Or Farmville. (Freaking Farmville...) I have Animal Crossing on my 3DS, and it's a chill little game to play when I'm down (but not so down that just digging in my bag for my handheld feels like A Hassle) since it's incredibly low obligation — at least if you don't care about villagers moving their houses about and wrecking your meticulously planted flower patches.

I'm happy to hear you've found these forums useful! Depression's such a weird beast: statistically we know that way many people are going through the same things we are, but when the illness is so invisible (and insidious in the lies it tells you that you're the only one not managing to handle your life properly because you totally suck) it's too easy to feel like you're all on your own. So far it's been sobering to see so many threads around that echo my own concerns and anxieties, so I hope they will be just as helpful to me too.

 

On 09/10/2017 at 6:01 PM, ChefBlues said:

Hello!

I am a 35 year old Swedish chef (Bork bork!) at war with depression and addiction. 

I played PnP RPGs when I was a kid, but I had to stop when my gaming group started shifting into those Warhammer games bc it was WAY too expensive. Still have a crate full of old stuff in my attic with my old characer sheets and gamebooks. Sometimes I'll take them out to remind myself of who I was back then.

What you wrote about burning out your friends is a fear of mine too, the ones that know how I feel are often too quick with solutions, sometimes you just need to vent and have somebody else than your walls listen. 

 

 

omg yes, Warhammer is one nerd culture bridge I will never, ever cross. Serious question, is 40k called 40k because that's how much you need to spend just to participate at a basic level?? Forking out £20 for the DND player's handbook was expensive enough for me, and I got mine way cheaper than you'd normally find it on the highstreet. Do you think you'll ever re-venture into any other kinds of roleplay? I've actually found DND helpful with my own depression, since our campaigns occur on a weekly basis...thus providing me a sense of weeks passing rather than feeling stuck in an infinite and soul-crushing work loop (I don't have set days of the week off, so it's easy for me to lose track of time and thus start losing my mind). It gives me something to think about throughout the days leading up to our sessions, and encourages me to socialise even if I don't really feel up to it, which inevitably winds up for the best every time. I also get how the sense of obligation could just be stressful for some people, however, especially if you can't find a group that's chill enough, or whose sessions fit with your schedule.

Right? I appreciate that (most) people just want to help, but nobody can snap their fingers and fix us. And when people constantly offer suggestions rather than simply listening to what I'm telling them, sometimes it starts to feel like the message isn't "I care about you and want you to feel better"...but instead "hurry up and get rid of your problems so you can quit burdening the rest of us with them". I've found fellow sufferers are much more empathetic and ready to listen and empathise, and when advice *IS* offered it comes from a place of genuine understanding rather than "I read a bulletpointed list of depression 'cures' online and now I'm going to regurgitate them to you and expect you to nod and be grateful for my wisdom."

My boyfriend and BFFL both suffer mental illness and have been real MVPs, but even with friends and loved ones who suffer depression I sometimes feel wary of sharing too much. I'm not the only one who's struggling, and I know how exhausting it can be to carry other people's problems when you're having trouble handling your own. At least on a forum like this one we're here expressly BECAUSE we want to talk about our illness, so we know what we're getting in for and can also step back whenever we need a break.

But still, I'm uber salty about recent conversations with an otherwise close friend who 1) did little but offer empty, flippant advice, 2) attempted to compare my lifelong apathy for life and occasional bouts of what I suspect to be psychosis with the shortterm depressed period she experienced during her unemployment (not to say situational depression isn't sucky or worthy of sympathy, because of course it is, but the tone of her comparison and her patronising little comments about "but you gotta push through" made me feel really invalidated), and 3) quickly flipped discussion onto the depressive bouts of our bipolar ex-mutual friend for seemingly no reason other than "I mean, look how cray SOME people get", which is honestly disrespectful af to both of us. I really needed her support, so even though it's been weeks since that chat I'm still p*****.

 

On 09/10/2017 at 10:55 PM, Jrhode80 said:

21 yo male here. I feel you man I feel you. It ****in sucks:( I'm laying on the shower floor right now dwelling in my sorrows. 

 

 

Legitimately impressed you're managing that without causing your phone/tablet/laptop some serious water damage, but I feel you too my dude. Sometimes I just want to sit in the bath and stay there until it evaporates around me (I think the finger pruning would be too excruciating to bear, however). Have both my sympathy and a virtual brofist.

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On 10/10/2017 at 6:36 PM, All Plaid Out said:

My boyfriend showed me one of Community's DND episodes and yes, I agree that it was aces! Although...the one bit that threw my nitpicker self was the DM making all the rolls while nobody in the party so much as touched a dice the entire game. I get that the choice was probably made to streamline the process (and that the only die this group of one-time adventurers would have had between them were likely the unloved d6s stashed away with an old board game someplace), but it seems way tedious for the poor DM. At least throw some cursory spare dice around the table as props-! It was no less hilariously relatable, of course.

I keep hearing good things about Stardew Valley, I should look into it. From the barest little I know about it, it looks like a cross between Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon. Or Farmville. (Freaking Farmville...) I have Animal Crossing on my 3DS, and it's a chill little game to play when I'm down (but not so down that just digging in my bag for my handheld feels like A Hassle) since it's incredibly low obligation — at least if you don't care about villagers moving their houses about and wrecking your meticulously planted flower patches.

I'm happy to hear you've found these forums useful! Depression's such a weird beast: statistically we know that way many people are going through the same things we are, but when the illness is so invisible (and insidious in the lies it tells you that you're the only one not managing to handle your life properly because you totally suck) it's too easy to feel like you're all on your own. So far it's been sobering to see so many threads around that echo my own concerns and anxieties, so I hope they will be just as helpful to me too.

That's really funny, since I've never played DnD I was blithely unaware of any inaccuracies haha. I'm glad you were still able to enjoy it though, I know how those pet peeves can ruin an otherwise fine show/ movie. One of my hobbies is studying NASA so any movie with inaccurate space travel irks me to no end. And not fictional space travel like Star Wars or Star Trek, those are fine: it's really just anything that tries to mimic real space travel but doesn't do it accurately. Armageddon is one such offender lol.

I've never played Harvest Moon but it is indeed very similar to Animal Crossing as far as having a community of townspeople and farming. I would DEFINITELY say it's more along the lines of Farmville, but without the gimmicks or micro-transactions. The great part about Stardew is that it's designed to be very relaxed, so neighbors won't ruin your stuff or anything. There are buffers built in so you don't get stressed out about stuff (for example, your plants won't die if you forget to water them, they just won't bear fruits/ veggies until you do). And this is just my opinion but I think there's a lot more to do in Stardew compared to AC: I've played about 50 hours so far and Steam is showing that I'm only at 20% completion, if that gives you an idea of the scope of the game.

And yes! The way you explain the sense of community is great, just knowing that you're not alone makes a world of difference! I hope it's been helping you & that you're doing well!

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Please ignore my empty response above, I was responding to some troll was on here earlier and it looks like he was deleted (yay!)

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