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Marriage coming to an end :'(


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As the title says. It's a long, complicated story, and I will share it when I have the mental energy and time. But the long short of it is our marriage has been on the rocks for a long while now. I was living in a separate bedroom for the past year, and we went into an open relationship and wound up dating the same woman (which I can't help feel just distracted me from all the problems with my marriage, but I'm also feeling bitter) and then we all wound up living in the same house. Eventually things deteriorated further. I ended relationship with both of them in an anger fueled Sunday night. But they were planning on ending it soon if I didnt.

Fast forward a few weeks later. I get into an argument with both of them. (Soon to be ex spouse, and ex gf) and go out for a late drive. In a fit of exasperated anger I text my spouse saying I'm done, calling it quits for good, moving out the end of the month.

 

I acknowledge that dropping such a bombshell via text is  a really s----y thing to do. So I go back home to my ex gf calling me some choice things while my spouse is sobbing on the sofa, telling me how terrible a thing to do that was. I don't blame him for feeling that way. But I was and stl am at the end of my emotional and mental capacity with the constant conflict that has been the past 6 months of my love/home life.

I'm temporarily living with my dad, and honestly the stability and peace of his house has been a welcome change of pace. But today was the first day I didn't have anything to do. And it hit me hard.

Our relationship is probably going to end. :'( I don't deny my share of blame, but wow. The first person I truly deeply loved, who deeply loved me back. And it's coming to an end. This may be better for us in the long run, but that doesn't make it hurt any less :'(

 

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Yeah. I've been single for 3 years now, after a 30 year marriage. I almost came completely undone at the time it was ending...and I guess I haven't recovered yet.

I get the pain. Human relationships are so wickedly complex.

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They certainly are, friend. I'm sorry to hear you've gone through this too.

im still on such a wild roller coaster of emotions. I'll swing from feeling heartbroken, to perfectly relaxed and accepting that this is for the best, back to soul crushing heartbreak, and then back to feeling okay, sometimes all in one day!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah. Mine is a long, complicated story too. I encounter my ex once or twice a week now. It's never easy. I almost throw up every time. Not because of her, but because of all the feelings that come rushing back at once. And all of my damned regret.

 

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