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My therapist is unprofessional


cb2

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I've been seeing my therapist for about 5 months. The other day when I was describing one of my issues I noticed she looked down at her nails and started playing with them for about 20 seconds, I just kept talking, but now that I think about it I'm wondering if I was droning on too long or I wasn't interesting enough to keep her attention. If she does this again I think I'm going to stop seeing her because I think it's rude and unprofessional. Seems like a therapist should listen intently and not play with their nails. Should I be upset about this and find a new therapist?

One of my issues is self confidence because I feel like people don't like me and this makes matters worse because she makes me feel like I am doing something wrong and am so boring that she can't help but play with her nails. Also, three weeks ago she promised to find someone who could do EMDR but every time I see her she says she hasn't got around to doing that. I like her, but these two issues make me doubt my importance to her and she is just using me for a paycheck.

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Something else I just remembered, before I saw her I filled out a questionnaire where I wrote down all of my issues and it took over 2 hours, but then session after session she kept asking me things that I already gave the answer to in the questionnaire and I became suspicious that she never read it, so at our fourth session I asked if she had a chance to read it and she said "I think I did, I probably did, I don't remember, I mean usually I'll make a note if there is something I want to talk about further or that is important" So basically she said with that statement that nothing was notable and nothing was important, even though I wrote in detail about horrible things that happened to me and I needed help with.

I'm not sure if she has helped me or not because she causes me anxiety because I don't think she is taking my issues seriously and is not really interested in helping me, only in getting my money. The reason why I haven't got a different therapist yet is because I'm not sure if her dis-interest is in my mind or real.

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6 hours ago, cb2 said:

The other day when I was describing one of my issues I noticed she looked down at her nails and started playing with them for about 20 seconds, I just kept talking, but now that I think about it I'm wondering if I was droning on too long or I wasn't interesting enough to keep her attention. If she does this again I think I'm going to stop seeing her because I think it's rude and unprofessional. Seems like a therapist should listen intently and not play with their nails.

Sometimes people look away when they're thinking really hard about what someone is saying and fidgeting can improve concentration. I wouldn't try to read too much into her body language. It is a bit unprofessional though for a therapist, they should be very aware of their own body language in order not to send ambiguous signals.

3 hours ago, cb2 said:

Something else I just remembered, before I saw her I filled out a questionnaire where I wrote down all of my issues and it took over 2 hours, but then session after session she kept asking me things that I already gave the answer to in the questionnaire and I became suspicious that she never read it, so at our fourth session I asked if she had a chance to read it and she said "I think I did, I probably did, I don't remember, I mean usually I'll make a note if there is something I want to talk about further or that is important" So basically she said with that statement that nothing was notable and nothing was important, even though I wrote in detail about horrible things that happened to me and I needed help with.

She probably did read but it's kinda hard to remember everything when you see a lot of people so her statement that she would have made a note if something struck her is a reasonable explanation. Try to remember that something that is a huge deal to you could seem like a minor thing to someone else and vice versa. Still, she needs to be a lot more careful with her body language and wording since you're very sensitive, perhaps it's just not a good match. In any case, you should talk to her about your concerns and if you don't get a satisfactory answer switch therapists. 

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This would bother me, too.  But before you write her off, I would have a discussion with her about it. She might not be aware she's doing it, or that it's bothering you.  I'd probably also say something to her about the paperwork you filled out and how the information you filled out was very important to you but doesn't seem that way to you.  See what her response is.

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I saw my therapist last week and I told her my current fear was waiting for some important medical results. I told her thats what eating me inside out and I would like some advice how to cope until results come. You know what she said? "Yeah, it would make things harder for you if you got cancer". I couldn't believe it.

If somebody asked me how to cope i would at least say watch a movie, go out, try not to think. And she is a "professional" and was totally unhelpful. But that was my first session. I will see how she behaves tomorrow. I believe even in the first session if I had an urgent issue she should have talk about it for 5 minutes instead about telling me what I already know like "if you think about negative try to think about what you did positive" etc...

And they also tend to take long time talking nonsense just so you keep coming longer. If she is not helpful fire her.

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